My baby turns 10

Alexander is 10 today.

I crammed into my first 34 years practically everything anyone could want to do. One of the terribly hard thing to do in life is to be a husband and a father.

There are a number of driving forces in us. We can do something out of a sense of obligation or a sense of dedication. But the highest of them all is when we do something out of love.

When it comes to my child, I have to continually fight my tendency to try to raise him go the way I want so he will make me look good. And I expect more maturity from him than I had when I was his age or even more maturity than I have now at 44.

I want people to see my kid and marvel at his talent. I wasn't that way, but that's the point. I don't want my boy to start out like me. I don't want him to make the mistakes I made and i want him to turn out better than me.

There's no freedom for him in that. And no real learning either.

We don't pick our kid's personalities. We don't command their thoughts. As parents, there is much we control, and much that is painfully out of our hands.

Early in his life, we can control a lot. We can dress him how we want. Put him down for naps. We make him do his homework.

We can cultivate an atmosphere to grow, we can encourage and model ideals. But we cannot exercise it for him.

But what do you do if your kid is a really good, decent, honest, friendly person who is making good choices?

You thank God, that's what you do.