servant leader vs self-serving one

Yvonne and I spoke about change in leadership styles during lunch on Friday

I am thoroughly convinced that great leadership comes from the heart.

If we lead by focusing on building organizational assets or our own legacy, we am keeping our eyes on the scoreboard and miss the most important part of the game that helps guarantee sustainable success - helping our people flourish.

I try to be a servant leader rather than a self-serving one.

I imagine a decade from now reading about a young, emerging leader in the industry. My dream is that when that young leader answers the question of who is the best boss he or she ever had, the person who comes to mind will be me.

Death is harsh

CDL deputy chairman suffered a heart attack and died in his sleep. He was 62.

Death is one subject that shakes up the status quo. I have experienced death of a loved one. It shook me up. I focused a little more on what matters most after that.

If we remember that death is coming, we will remember to open our hearts. Perhaps we won't wait for a perfect moment. We won't postpone love until the chores are done, until we're rested, or until we have enough money in the bank. We will be generous, less stingy with our smiles and our hugs.

The Narcissist

I have a narcissist in my team. Beneath the pretty clothes, the charisma and the smile, lurks a cold heart. Everything is about her.

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, crave attention and require endless praise. Narcissists are dangerous because they lack empathy and they don't play by the rules. They value control and power over love.

To manage a narcissist, I frame my requests in ways they can hear. Stating my emotional needs rarely works, nor does complaining or being assertive. Ego is the Achilles' heel of narcissists. They can be cajoled through flattery. Though such ego stroking is tedious, it does bring results.

to shop or be sold?

My tagline on Carousell reads: "I am not here to sell you things. I am here to help you buy"

Why do we like to shop, but hate to be sold? Because shopping is ours, selling is theirs.

Our favourite teachers and coaches use their expertise and involve us by asking for our opinions, and involving using projects that interests us. Making it ours is not giving us control of the ship. Great leaders make it ours by making us feel that we are at the centre of things.

Many small successes

We did our 9+3 review in Johor Baru recently to try to make it to the tape.

On the path stretching between us and our goals, there is no red carpet. More often we find a swamp.

Worthwhile goals demand effort, risk and sacrifice. We have to persist through fear and doubt; we have to draw on inner resources and become more than we were before. Every new challenge is an initiation: we meet discouragement; we overcome discomfort, boredom and frustration; we find out what we're made of.

That lofty dreams in the distant future are a difficult burden to carry. The best goals may be those we can handle in the next week, the next day, the next hour or the next step. We should create a process that yields many small successes

Be the bigger person

"You seem to have found the Zen," Ramesh pointed out, when I calmly ignored some rude behaviour of the driver in front of me. "Be the bigger person"

Acting with kindness; being the bigger person will come back around to us in some way, shape or form. At the very least it will strengthen our personal brand and reputation.

This is something that seems to have been lost on current generations as countless children and adolescents push their way through crowded streets and walk through doorways held open for them without a simple acknowledgement or thank you.