Cocoon your customers

"Retain 95% of key accounts," Erhard insisted that to be the main objective

I learned from Sheraton to brickwall my existing customers - shielding them from the competition and making them feel warm and fuzzy. Aggressive Directors of Sales & Marketing not only brickwall our own customers, we also un-brickwall our competition's.

The key to liberating my competition's customers which has worked for me is patience: don't try to create immediate and permanent shift.

I find many times that the 1st step is to catalyze a change in consumer habits via a trial usage. Familiarisation trips and site inspections are great selling moments which often are taken for granted.

I always try to get close to my customer that my competition doesn't have an opening.

from left: Theresa and Darren

I can do it

"The accelerated decline of achievements in Q1 is alarming" the email for the 3+9 Review Meeting started. "To be sure, the picture isn’t entirely grim. And many of these indicators have their flip sides" it continued.

Keen intellect, business competence and strong interpersonal skills, I have been told, are essential leadership qualities. But one quality that makes the difference against the background of the economic slump and the swine flu, is the ability to remain optimistic in the face of daunting adversity.

Optimism is an important quality, but denial is deadly. Effective leadership, to me in demanding situations, means being able to see the optimistic view and, at the same time, deal with the brutal truth.

The headline

"We need a headline that grabs you by the scruff of your neck and says, 'Look at me!'" the late S.H. taught me.

Surveys concluded that readers look at a newspaper page an average of 4 seconds before turning the page. In those 4 seconds they look at the news headlines 1st.

All ads, or flyers or brochures that I do, I try to say something in the headlines that makes them want to stop and keep on reading.

In my 21 years in sales and marketing, I can summise that there are only 2 things that people buy: solutions to problems and good feelings.

Words that work in headlines are words like new, free, how to, amazing, guarantee, you, now

Ads with headlines that promise a benefit are read by 4 times more people that headlines that don't have benefits.

Marketing a beach resort is no different. People are interested in the fun time they can have. Not in our accommodation room and beach.

The secret of sales success

"Paul was always a pleasure to work with," Sherin, the former Asia Pacific Regional and Worldwide Hotel Program Manager of Agilent Technologies recommended on LinkedIn. "As his customer, he has always shown professionism, integrity, honesty and sincerity. That is the key to his success. Overall a great guy to work with."

The one quality that every great salesperson has got to have is credibility.

It means one is reliable, trustworthy and derserving of his or her confirdence and commitment.

It's not quite true that it's all you need, because even if the customer believe in you, you still need analytical skills and persistence. But if one doesn't have credibility in their eyes, then nothing else matters.

From left: Dominic, Denise

Every loss and heartbreak contains a lesson

"It's ok to make mistakes," Umehara always said. "But don't make the same mistake twice."

Think of Wily Coyote.

Cartoon after cartoon, doom after doom. 1st run and repeats make no difference. The Roadrunner isn't such a genius. He's fast, but he would've been stomped, crushed or even eaten long ago if the Coyote had learned and applied just one damned thing from his mistakes.

Though we shouldn't dwell on defeats, losses or heartbreaks, I think we will do well to study them, consider every angle from every perspective. I always try to analyse how or why I failed and what I can do to prevent the same conclusion from recurring.

To tell up front

"It's good to be so open," Carolyn said on the ferry. "It's better than being surprised later."

Today's workers are more educated, motivated, responsible and more capable of doing their job without being closely supervised.

Good communication right from the start is the most important thing. I never hide anything from my team. I tell them up front what is involved, how long it is going to take, what their role is, how they will be affected. Everything has to be told upfront.

From right: Chloe, Stephie, Jades

The paradox of love

"My wife will visit me over weekends," Pali jested at lunch in pasir Gudang. "She is a weekend wife."

For me, love means a concern for, an acceptance of, and an interest in the one whom I am trying to love. Love is indeed demanding., but it is not unrewarding.

So often I see or hear a friend demanding someone to love him without being to make the sacrifice himself. The moment we ask that question: "what have you done for me?" we have ceased to love.

Moment of decision

"You only have one bullet to kill the tiger," S.T. pointed out. "One chance to make an impression and clinch the deal. So don't shoot at the tail. Shoot at the heart."

Napoleon held that the fate of every battle was decided in the space of about 5 minutes. It could well be that our lives not so much decided by the routine events of every day, but rather during the 2 or 3 great moments of decision.

If the opportunity is allowed to slip by, success could turn into failure.

A life without love is not a life at all...

The Straits Times today reported that the last known survivor of the Titanic, 97 year old Millivina Dean is auctioning off her momentos of the doomed ship. Ms Dean was a 9-week-old baby who was handed into a lifeboat. She has never been married and has no children.

Some people prefer not to love at all; they'd rather live enclosed in themselves rather than risk the pain of getting hurt.

The truth of the matter is, if we love and lose someone, we still have ourselves.

I wouldn't want to live a life without love in it.

Identifying the root cause

I accompanied Yim to the wedding fair in Corpthorne Waterfront.

Take a look at the average wedding picture. Husband and wife are beaming - their faces wreathed in big window smiles. They radiate happiness.

What happened in just a few short months or years? The smiles are no longer there. Frustration and disappointment have set in.

My ex AMEX friend Eric couldn't manage money. Ryan couldn't hold a job for long. For Lena it was a meddling mother-in-law. As for CD, they just didn't get on well together.

The way I see it, a lack of loving, thoughtful communication is one of those telltale signs of a failing relationship.

Fast forward

"I am expecting a salary range of not less than $7,500," Ronda indicated in her application.

I remember my 1st pay packet. I remember the special thrill of getting it. I remember how much it was. RM350.

In those days, there were folks I know who were referred to as those "earning a 4-figure income." That was a big sum. They were looked upon with awe and a little envy.

Today, fresh graduates start with a 4-figure income.

A mindset I embraced throughout all these years was: how wonderful one day if my annual income became my monthly income. And how even better if my annual income could become my daily income.

There is a quotation that kept me going all these years: "Don't wish for life to become easier; pray to be stronger!" When life is tough, we ought to be tougher.

Relationships are not self-sustaining

"I am glad I have you to talk to and share with during the difficult days I went through," Maria expressed appreciatively.

This is a vital point I have acknowledged: even though my marriage is supposed to be my primary and most important relationship, that relationship is not self-sustaining. Marriages needs outside input to really thrive.

I love to look at successful marriages that have made it 40 or 50 years. Not that all long marriages are, by any definition, successful. There are long marriages that seem more like a prison sentence than a blessed union.

But when I find an aging couple who are still crazy about each other, who still date, who sit close together, and who still kiss, I try to learn something for my own marriage.

Prove it

"Andy Lau offers 10,000-square-foot bungalow SGD1.5m house as wedding gift" screamed the rolling headlines on Yahoo Singapore this morning.

Here's my take on this: objects, gifts and other stuff are not love, nor do they prove love.

Love gives itself. Love can exist in financial poverty. It is no way dependent on stuff. Sure, love can and often does prompt a tangible expression, such as a gift. But love is not an exercise in bartering.

I bought ACE a Geronimo Stilton book because I love him, not to prove I love him. He may not have discerned the difference at the time. As he grows, I think he will understand.

ACE - Thanks for the gift

"Please help me buy a lego castle wizard set for Alexander's birthday next month," Cat requested over the phone. "I will pay you when I see you this Sunday."

It is in bringing my boy up that I'd learned patience, generosity, kindness, courage, loyalty and sacrifice.

I love him and teach him to love and is loved by him.

Yes, I have moulded the life of my son. But he has also dramatically changed my life. I am a better human being for having been given the inestimable privilege of being a dad.

Gift of self

Easter Sunday celebrates the gift of love and self.

I think the greatest gift a man can give a woman is the gift of self and understanding.

This is the latest scientific discovery: men are turned off by a nagging partner. SMy mate Benny described being constantly nagged by a woman as like being nibbled to death by a duck.

In the same vein, a negative woman is a real pain. Not only is negativism hard to live with day after day, but it's a method of saying to the husband, "You're no good."

Many relationships suffer from an emotional impoverishment. The hardworking man may drive himself to be more successful, buy a bigger house, buy new things for his wife, and believe that the next new thing will bring her happiness, only to discover that happiness and love isn't with things, but with the person you love.

There is an old cliche that little things mean a lot to a woman.

Some of the most tender and romantic moments in a couple's lives can be when the man recognizes how fatigued his partner is at the end of the day and that night just hold her in his arms and say "I just want you to know I hear you and know you hurt, and I want to be tender with you."

Changing course to get to my destination

"It amazes me that you're still pursuing Sales & Marketing after being at it for so many years!" Dato Eric commented in his email. "Don't you have the aspirations of moving into operations?"

I have decided that to achieve the results I desire for, it is not necessary that I enjoy the process. An athlete does not enjoy the pain of training; an athlete enjoys the results of having trained.

Today being Good Friday, I recall that through Jeremiah, my Creator declares,"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

is this it?

"Love is a feeling difficult to explain; it tickles the heart and affects the brain; 5 minutes pleasure 9 months pain; out of hospital do it again" I overheard this in Rum Jungle

Love is a feeling. Your heart really does beat faster. You can get butterflies in your stomach, treat every telephone call with your loved one as an important event. You feel a constant current of energy and excitement. Everyone and everything else in your life momentarily reduces in importance. Nothing and no one is interesting as the person who is making you feel like this.

Christine married Stanley after over 10 years of courtship; Teekay married after 2 months. I married after 6 years of courtship. The way I see it: problems affect couples who marry before they hit any difficulties together. Meeting problems destroys some of the euphoria of being in love, and allows one to see beyond it to whether there are aspects that are longer lasting than euphoria and passion.

Forever is a long time

"I want to grow old with you," Adam Sandler's character serenaded to Drew Barrymore's character

We all want to believe that we want to be with our spouse for the rest of our lives. That's why we get married to begin with, in the hope that one day, we will enjoy our twilight years with someone who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Security is one of the most important element of any relationship. I find that couples who feel that they will always be together are much more open and honest about their feelings. Other couples - instead of being a source of comfort and joy to each other - becomes an adversary.

I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you're sad,
Carry you around
When you're arthritis is bad
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you
I'll get you're medicine,
When you've tummy aches,
Build you a fire
If the furnace breaks
Oh, it could be so nice,
Growin' old with you
I'll miss you,
Kiss you,
Give you my coat
When you are cold
I'll need you,
Feed you,
Even let you hold
The remote control
So let me do the dishes
In our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed
When you've had
Too much to drink
Ohhhh, I could be the man,
Who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
You always did the dishes,
gave me your coat
when I was too stupid to bring one,
we should have grown old together...

Differences

"He changed so much," Ong said.

Be honest. Whether or not you've admitted it yet to anyone but yourself, you do feel critical of your partner.

"But how do I reach this point?" I ask myself.

At first of course everything is rosy. We enjoy giving to each other, and feel that we receive in return.

I have long since realised this, and the sooner one accepts this fact, the better: every person is an individual, and therefore different. And in time, these differences start to show.

Believe and persist

When I started writing this, Manchester United was 2-1 down to Aston Villa with 20 minutes left to go. They ended up winning 3-2 and being restored to the summit of the Premiership.

I've been asked so many times "How'd you do it" or "What makes you successful" etc. I realise that the one God given talent I have is hard headedness. I won't take no for an answer.

I believe in myself and persist. The formula is really that simple.

Live in the present

Today ACE and I celebrated Felicia's birthday.

To some people, tomorrow is more important than today.

Too many relationships are based upon the future; saving for retirement, the kids, the house, or waiting forthe next raise or position. Some couples spend their entire lives working and saving for later - and when later comes, the relationship has deteriorated, the children are gone, the couple may even be in poor health.

I try to enjoy our time together today.

Protective behaviour

"How long have you known him compared to knowing me?" Mr Sembawang queried. "Why can't you confide in me?"

Two people in love spend time talking to each other. With a partner who accepts and cares about us, buried feelings can surface. They are willing to "come out," ie, not hide behind their protections and issues can be discussed fairly easily.

For most of us, the pain we feel is preferable to the pain we fear. People stay in unhappy, often miserable marriages to avoid loneliness or to keep from having to make new decisions. Some continue to drink rather than face what they would have to face.

The dreaded "D" word

"Our divorce proceedings are almost finalised," Christina said sombrely. "The kids will live with me."

The way I see it, the real victims of divorce in many cases are the children.Social scientists conclusion: "Most of them will be on a downward course."

This is not to imply that kids with only one parent can't make it. I know a few friends who were raised by only one parent who have done extremely well.

The reasons of divorce amongst the circle of acquantiances I personally know are adultery, absence and/or abuse.

An anonymous author contributed this thought: Every husband and wife should remember that you go into marriage with your eyes wide open, but you'll stay in the marriage only if they keep them half shut.

Here's the lighter side of breaking up. Enjoy!

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.
~~~~~
"Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole."
~~~~~
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.He thought he was God, and I didn't.

In-laws or out-laws?

"We're staying with my mother-in-law," Janice revealed. "And she is looking after my daughter."

Couples who have lived together for years often find that they have adapted to their different styles. It's as if their marriages are steamboats that have been cooking so long the flavours have merged and become delicious.

But many couples' relationships with etheir in-laws haven't cooked long enough, so they're still tough. I know some couples who simply give up trying to bond with their extended families.

I sincerely believe, these frustrations can sometims be solved once style differences are identified and minor adjustments made.

My extended family

Example is leadership

"She has a lucky star above her," Judy described. "She is not good at her work and a poor leader , yet she seems to land all the good jobs."

Too many leaders talk about "teamwork", but they define the team as their subordinates and themselves, as the leader - set apart. If you're the leader, but you aren't part of the team, then you've got no team.

Commitment from your people isn't something that can be demanded from them; it can only be given by them.And your team will give their commitment to you only if they know you'll do whatever you're asking them to do.

If you take the attitude of "You go first," you won't be the leader. You'll just be the boss, the lucky S.O.B. who somehow grabbed the power.

As I write this, I am preparing to go to harbourfront to board the ferry for a day trip to batam to join two of my associates there visiting customers and negotiating tactical deals. I believe if your people actually see you sweat, it'll build morale faster than any bonus system you could possibly enact.

from left: Shirley, Nadeem, Jiaye, Brama, Donna