Sunday, February 28, 2010

That's romantic

"I think you are a playboy," Boryoung said judgingly to my Korean friend, Choi. "A romantic playboy."

We have all allowed ourselves to get swept up by an exciteing story in a book or movie at least once in our lives. That's because we all have a bot of the romantic in us.

Advertisements portray romance as a candlelight dinner at at expensive restaurant. But according to a survey on women, romance knows no time or place. It may not even cost anything.

We may be watching the most beautiful sunset, but if we don't have that romantic attitude pulsating between us, we might as well be alone. On the other hand, though the setting may be irrelevant, we can make use of our surroundings to help create a romantic mood. One of the woman survey respondent commented: "The surroundings don't matter.We could be at the top of the eiffel Tower or in the mall shopping for diapers. But when his attention shows me that he appreciates my uniqueness, that's romantic.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Change in us

"I will be leaving Singapore and moving to London," Divya beamed. "I am getting married in June. My gosh, it's such a hassle."
Even the happiest, best matched couples got through difficult patches in their relationships.

People are often surprised to find out that stress levels rise even when nice things are happening. Marriages, moving house, holidays require planning and preparation as well as expense and changes in routine.

Throughout life, our needs, outlook, ideals and sometimes our personality, modify and change. A couple who marry in their 20's and stay together for the next 20 years will be very different people not simply at the end of it, but at stages along the way. As we change, so we require different things from our relationship.

I still believe that to be able to accommodate these changes in our relationship, requires the elements of humour, respect, effort and flexibility.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Angels in our lives

"Find out how to meet your angels and how angels can help with guidance and healing," Janis wrote on Suite101

I say you don't have to go through all the trouble. We all have our angels in our lives.

By an angel I mean here any person that has changed the whole course of out life, influenced our behaviour, made us turn right when we were about to turn left, and in general made us better.

I saw it then, but I see it more clearly now.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

When wrong, apologise

"Tiger Woods Apologizes to Parents at Kid's School" reported Fox News 1 hour ago.

Be courageous and apologise when you make a mistake. Actually in many cases, when we acknowledge that we have made a mistake, we are encouraging and laying the groundwork for a more open and loving relationship with each other.

For what it's worth, when we are wrong and admit that we have made a mistake and ask forgiveness, we clearly establish the fact that we're wiser today than we were yesterday.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Shape the mind...and character

"You got to start preparing now and have a list of your preferred secondary school for your boy," Nat advised.

The present tendency is to shift responsibility to the school. Education makes as much difference to a child as soil and air and sunshine do. A seed will grow better in one soil and climate than in another, but the tree that grows depends on the kind of seed that is sowed.

But remember: knowledge is in the mind, character is in the will. Education must not be of the mind alone, but also of the will.


Monday, February 22, 2010

Freedom of choice for children

"My daughter has to write a report about the programme everytime she watches TV," Siti beamed proudly.

Children must gradually be given freedom to think and choose for themselves. What would happen if parents insisted on making all the decisions for their children until those children were 21 years of age?

The result: some seriously immature 21 year-olds.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mutual trust and respect

"Now MEN..." Beth was quoted. "Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner."

One of the most vital elements in a successful marriage as all books will tell you is trust and respect. Greed, jealousy, mistrust and a host of wrong emotions dominate many marriages.

Trust and respect are a 2-way street.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

No power in intention

"Life is like a game of Monopoly," SH uttered words of wisdom. "You may own the hotels on Mayfair. But in the end, it all goes back in the box. The next generation will be getting out of your stuff and playing with it or fighting over it."

I recalled a story Andy once told me:
5 seagulls are sitting on a dock. One of them decides to fly away. How many seagulls are left?
4?
No.
There are still 5. Deciding to fly away and actually flying away are 2 very different things.

There is absolutely no power in intention. The seagull may intend to fly away, may talk with other seagulls about how wonderful it is to fly, but until that seagull flaps it wings and takes to the air, he is still on the dock. There's no difference between that seagull and others.

"I intend to change, but I didn't," "I meant to finish this work on time," I was going to be there for your birthday..."

How ironic it is that we often judge ourselves by our intentions but judge others by their actions. Yet intention without action is an insult to those who expect the best from us.


Friday, February 19, 2010

What we say

"Since she joined her school's debating team, my daughter has begun to speak up clearly and confidently," Natalie said proudly after tossing the yee sang.

Our clothes, accessories and haircut can make us look like a polished, successful executive. But when we open our mouth, we reveal a host of cues about our brainpower, people skills, poise, energy level and passion. What we say is the single most important factor in judging our worthiness because speech reveals far more than our ideas and judgements

What we say exposes how we think, how we relate to people, how we approach a problem, how we present a message, and how we deal with stress.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Photos might be special one day

"My murderer was a man from our neighbourhood. I took his photo once; he stepped out from nowhere and ruined the shot. He ruined a lot of things," Susie Salmon said in the movie The Lovely Bones which I just saw this week.

On Chinese New year Eve, I had a particularly poignant moment with my grannny. I took a photograph of her in a wheelchair and smiling. The point is...she doesn't get out of bed too much these days.

Sometimes when I make my son pose for a photograph, I'll cajole saying, "It'll be a memory" as he frowns at being made to stop and be frozen in time.

We'll never know what will become special.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Audience focused presentation slides

"Can you see the blackboard clearly in class?" ACE's granny asked him on Chinese New year eve. "What blackboard?" ACE shot back.

As I write this I am in my mid-forties. When I went to school we used a blackboard and chalk. When I started work we had an overhead projector and transparencies. Now the laptop and LCD projector, fired up with Microsoft PowerPoint provides everyone with splendid tools for presentation.

In my experience, the majority of people today still make a pretty poor job at presenting. They proudly show a seemingly endless parade of small text zipping onto the screen, usually displaying exactly the samewords as are then read out. Insulting or what?

To me, in addition to these powerpoint slides helping the presenter stay on track, it should have images that engage the audience.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A salesperson in every CEO

"The new Lotus team officially launched their 2010 car. The malaysian-backed squad, one of four new entrants this season, will put the legendary Lotus name back on the grid for the first time since 1994," reports www.formula1.com. "Team principal, Tony fernandes expressed his delight at launching the car just 5 months after the team was granted its entry to the 2010 FIA Formula Onje World Championship." Reading of Tony fernandes, reminds me of his mentor, Richard Branson of Virgin records and Virgin Airlines fame. Branson sold records out of the boot of his car to retail outlets in London.

The entrepreneurial leader is actually a salesperson on a broader scale. Whether pitching an idea to an important clinet, negotiating a strategic relationship, or persuading a key employee to take on a new challenge, top leaders embody many of the characteristics of top level salespeople.

Given these findings, organizations would do well to look within their sales ranks for future leadership candidates.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Great lessons from football

"Hello this is the fan of the richest football club in England," Jerry, the Manchester City fan exclaimed over the handphone.

I have loved football (soccer) since I weas 15. It is a great game, a game of great lessons. I sometimes wonder whether whose of us who love football fully appreciate its great lessons.

It's a game like war and also a game most like life - for it teaches that work, sacrifice, perserverance, competitive drive and selflessness are the price one pays to achieve worthwhile goals



Thursday, February 11, 2010

Re-sell, up-sell, cross-sell

"Please confirm my booking," Lillian said.

When customers make a decision to buy, it's because they trust and respect us and our ability to serve their individual needs.

Over 20 years in sales, I found that when we close the sale, it's the perfect time to make an additional sale - especially if there's a very good reason and benefit for the customer. 60% of customers will increase if we do it right and offer true value.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Expert power in relationship building

"I've been reading your blog," Mr Daser said over the phone. "Seems like you have seen the light."

I try to use my expertise to perform a little free consultation. I try to put forward well-thought-out ideas that are really in the other person's best interest. The point here is: if we prove our ability to add value to a given situation, we may even establish ourselves as a more important ally than the contact's regular employees. (This is relatively easy, because existing employees are usually hesitant to ask questions that will put more work on their plates)

Ultimately, our goal is not to get a job, or close a sale. If we help the other person do what he or she does a little bit better, we can be sure to watch the relationship change for the better.

from left: Siew Peng, Francis, Albert, Nat, David, Michael

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

knowing vs doing

"Talk is free," Michael said philosophically. "Just do it."

Stop right now and think of the best manager with whom you have ever had the privilege to work with.

All organizations wants better results and performance - and that requires leaders who know how to get results. Yet there is a huge gap between knowing what to do and having the skill, discipline and courage to do it.

I've worked for 8 organizations during my 22 year career, and I know that only a handful of managers are truly masters at making things better.
Right: Michael

Monday, February 8, 2010

We live or die together

"You should get your passport before April," Let said to Nando. "We're going to have our 3+9 review meeting in April."
I want everyone to share insights and perspectives. I want everyone to have the information and the knowledge so they could all speak on behalf of the business.

Individually,we're all limited.

My whole philosophy is to leverage the team. Leverage the strengths; acknowledge that nobody's perfect, but everyone brings a perspective to the table - and when we have it all - we can solve the toughest problems.
from left: Brian, Mich, Shirley, Donna, Let, Stephie, Grace, Rae, Jades, Chloe, Jiaye

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Self interests of my people

"Of course everyone is not like you," Dennis pointed out in full wisdom to Clement in the car as we neared the checkpoint. "They don't own this business like you. They are employees"

I have long come to accept the fact that people come to work motivated to pursue their self-interests, not mine. Furthermore I have realised that no matter how hard I try, I cannot change an individual's self-interest to make it like mine. Instead, I have learned to engage it.
from left: let, Stephie, Grace, rae, Jades, Chloe, Donna, Jiaye, Mich, Shirl, Brian

Saturday, February 6, 2010

No substitute for perseverance

"Have you heard of an organization called Toastmasters?" Jades enquired. "I am thinking of joining them."

Surveys show that people's greatest fear is speaking in public. I have not been a member of Toastmasters but I have a few friends who are. They subject themselves to regular doses of what they feared most, speaking in front of others. These people eventually became the golden-tongued orators most of us envy today. They are so good that we often do not realise that it was perseverance - not natural talent - that took them to the top. Here's how I see it: no amount of talent will replace the ability to persevere.
from left: Shirley, Donna

Friday, February 5, 2010

It's not who you know

"I know John Terry," Steve proclaimed over his Shiraz. "He lived a few doors away from me."

Anybody who has ever worked for a living knows the number one rule in politics is, "It isn't what you know, it's who you know."This is one of the unwritten laws of life.

I tell you now: this is good but not good enough. How many of us know the Pope or David Beckham, or Taylor Swift? Does any of them know us? Will they be readily available to do us a favour when we call on them? The truth is: it's not really who you know that counts, it's who knows you. that matters

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Have a superiority complex

"Patrick has an enormous ego," Han pointed out in the midst of starting on our Garlic Tower bread.

Most of us have been raised to be modest. Most of us have learned this lesson all too well and tend, therefore, to underestimate what we are capable of. Furthermore, put in the position of leading others, some of us project that underestimate on them. We undervalue their potential as well.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Narow our focus

"I have so much things on my mind today," the Blackberry message from Ms Chua read.

At certain times, salespeople are selling (performing) and during others, they are either preparing to sell or following up on a call. Like performers in other arenas, salespeople can get frustrated with a poor performance or lose confidence as a result of a rejection. Those feelings can get carried into the next meeting. The result, he/she will not be focused on the client's responses and thus subpar execution.

The key to high performance is being able to narrow our focus by segmenting specific tasks to get ourselves thinking "in the present".
left: Paulyn
right: Jessica

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Change of focus

"Tan Hock Ann, Assistant Director of Sales," the name card read. I just found out that my friend has been promoted from a sales manager to ADOS.

Elevating from Senior Sales Manager to Assistant Director of Sales requires a change of focus from developing accounts to developing your salespeople. Your Lone ranger days are over. Your task is to develop team action, not just individual action.

You have to help your subordinates plan, give them assistance in attaining goals through training, coaching and counseling and you have to hold them accountable for the results of their actions.
right: Chloe

Monday, February 1, 2010

BA

"I heard your golf manager has left the company," Hock asked. "I thought he'd just joined you."

Some people suffer from bad breath or BO. Others suffer from BA...bad attitude.

These people are like quicksand. They'll destroy the team spirit of those they work with. I say that if you've counseled them and it doesn't change, quickly get them off the team. If their attitude doesn't come around, it can zap the whole team.

The truth is, a positive climate and team spirit rubs off on customers. I always treat loyal staff as I treat loyal customers.
from left: Donna, Jiaye, Shirley