Being a hero

In Gulliver's Travels 3D, Horatio told Gulliver that because he hasn't done anything valiant, he cannot court the princess.

Like the valiant knight who slays dragons for his princess, we men can show our partner that she is our one true love.

The whole point, it seems to me, of being a hero, of winning a prize, is to have someone to win for. a loved one with whom to share my success long after the tumult and shouting dies. Someone to offer us lasting applause. that, I think, is what makes he effort worthwhile and complete.

The cosmic truth about fathering

The card attached to the present goes:

"To my baldy dad

Don't be sad

Be glad

Because you've had

A very merry Christmas

Love your lad, ACE"

Having ACE has taught me a truth as cosmic as any that I can find on a mountain in Tibet: There are no absolutes in raising a child. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more rewards and joys.

ACE and I

Heart of a relationship

Papers and webpages are filled with articles on "memories of 2010"

I now know that the heart of a relationship is memories; and if the 2 of us happen to have the same ones and can savour our reruns, then our relationship is a gift from the gods.

There are no rules; we just have to wing it. A wing and a prayer, that's what a relationship is.

As Browning said: "Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be."

Keeping mind fresh and clear

"Happy belated birthday. I am too old to remember how old you are," the text message from Chris Diamand cracked me up.

When I was 15 and ignorant, I once heard some really old people in their 40's telling each other how their minds were playing tricks on them. But now I know that at my age - a tender age of 46 - the fog can make our mind like London at dawn.

The lesson for us middle-agers in this piteous tale is clear: I workout, blog, travel, read, trade on ebay and whatever that makes me happy. Because doing things that I enjoy keeps my mind fresh and clear

Scheduled people

"It's funny how everyone wants to live long but no one wants to grow old," a comment was posted on Squidoo.

For my parents there is great security in predictability, order and routine. This is not new for them. It's their nature. It feels safe for them.

Like using the opposite sides of a pair of binoculars to look at the same thing, what they see as enormous and looming, I often see as small and inconsequential.

When I interact with my parents, what I have come to realise is that to understand them better, and to be more tolerant, I have to try to put myself in their place. And sometimes, as I look ahead at my own life, that's a little scary.

Never too old.

"Isn't she a bit too old for the job? You can't teach old dogs new tricks," Michelle sms read.

Most companies want young people who will make a career with the company. Somehow, for management, youth becomes equated with longevity, energy, openess and willingness to learn.

Studies have shown that young people are no more or no less willing to learn than their older colleagues and the likelihood of longevity may be even less because they have not thought through their career choices.

Simply put, it is not how old a person is, but who that person is.

Don't let others rain on our parade

"I don't let it upset me. I simply ignore him," Michelle revealed her secret.

Many people deny their partner's importance by remaining unaffected by and uninterested in their partner's activities or feelings. For example, when we're excited over a project we're working on, is our bubbly enthusiasm met with a cool response or shared enthusiasm? When we're feeling frightened or distressed over something in our lives, do our partners talk about what is upsetting us or just tune us out?

Most of us hide our hurt, fear or disappointment when our partner has done something that upsets us; we have learned not to let others see they have the power to hurt us.

If our partner is not affected by us, we will probably conclude that we are unimportant.

I welcome respectful challenges

Today is the 2nd day of EIBTM.

My professional life has been devoted mainly to making my teams/organizations successful.

Most team members initially saw me as intimidating and authoritarian. But most grew to realise that I welcomed respectful challenges, especially when someone could make a strong case that I was wrong.

I hate wasting time. I run tight, agenda-driven meetings. Meetings focused on exchanging information and decisions.

from right: Eunice, Gerald, Shirley, Yung, Elizabeth

Keeping in touch when apart

"My laptop was stolen 2 days ago. I need to buy a new one. I can't live without emails, skype and chat anymore especially when I am on the road," Noraini admitted.

Keeping in touch when we are apart from each other can bring us closer together. I think that women believe that they think of their partner much more often than their partners do of them.

If we guys let her know we do think of her, she'll feel more confident of our mutual relationship.

Find a confidant to counter stress

Unbelievable! I was smoking shisha and drinking Turkish coffee on saturday afternoon on busy Taksim Square in Istanbul when a hearse pulled up next to me and a few men carried a coffin from down a nearby alley and loaded it into the hearse. Then the hearse pulled away and it was gone.

A new child in a family can cause as much stress as a death in the family. "Falling in love" can be as stressful as "falling out of love." However, whether its source be pleasant or painful, stress can easily make us very unhappy. Overwork, the loss of a job, can cause stress. But small things like a time deadline, a simple quarrel or a gadget that doesn't work can throw us off balance.

I find a confidant with whom I can be totally open and feel totally safe. I talk out all my significant and emotion-filled experiences. But I ensure I let my confidant have equal time. Nobody wants to be a human garbage dump for emotional refuse.

Stress reduction

"Today all the shops are closed. It is Sunday," Martha informed me upon my check in to Le Meridien La Ramblas, Barcelona. "Tomorrow they are open by 10am and it will get busy in siesta time."

All too often, the coffee break/lunch break is abused rather than maximised. A lunch break should be used as a time to relax so that we are more effective when we return to work.

We should get our mind off the job and preferably into the wild blue yonder. We'll feel much more refreshed when we land again.

Reverse English

"I will be in some ads next year," Irem said while sipping her Martini El Turko

We sell by talking about things people want. We can also sell by talking about things people don't want.

What don't people want? The exact opposite of the things they do want.

Listerine is good at this: the girls who read the cosmetic ads usually get a hint of what wonders can be in store if they do use the stuff, but Listerine tells them frankly what will happen if they don't!

I say: reverse English can make our sales pitch stronger.

Room to negotiate in a negotiation

"There should be room to negotiate in a negotiation," That was a memorable quote in the movie Founding of a Republic.

Over the years, I have learned that when negotiating we should give the other negotiator many ways out. The fundamental rule in negotiating is that we must seem to allow him at least 1 way out - a way to save his face - while getting him to do what we want him to do. If we don't allow him a way out - or a way that seems to be an out - it will be very difficult to get him to act, even unknowingly, in our interests.

Have a grateful perspective

It was Jack Cranfield who said on stage in Singapore, "Whatever you focus upon, increases."

The concept works like this: when we focus on things we need, we'll find those needs increasing. If we set our minds on loss, we are likely to lose.

But a grateful perspective brings happiness into a person's life.

Are we truly happy with abundance?

I arrived in Casablanca, Morocco last night on AT0961 ETA1910.

We look forward to the joys of travel, but we have to admit that the 2 happiest days are the day we leave home and the day we get back home.

Perhaps we thought it was marriage that would bring us perfect happiness. Even though it did bring a measure of happiness, we have to admit that we now take our partner's love for granted...

Perhaps it was wealth we wanted. We got it, and now we are afraid of losing it.

Maybe it was a desire to be well-known that we craved. We did become well-known and well-liked only to find that reputation is like a ball: as soon as it starts rolling, people begin to kick it around.

Here's what I conclude: our happiness truly does not consist in the abundance of the things we process.

Concise is a virtue

Coca-cola is launching its 1st global Christmas ad campaign in 15 years....reported Bloomberg Business Week.

"No frills" advertising copy is brief, direct & delivers a knockout punch every time. When we're about to say something in 10 words, we should try to see if we can say it in 8 or 6 or 4. Because when it comes to copy, being concise is a virtue.

Short, powerful words create an urgency and rhythm that drives home sales message so it has the best chance of getting noticed.

Takes a real man to be a dad

"Kenneth's father is always travelling on business. That's why he is bringing Kenneth to Chicago and New York this school holidays," Eni told us at the Lavender mrt station.

I am by no means a perfect father. I've made plenty of mistakes and had to apologise to my kid many times, just like every father who has ever lived. But I've always done my very, very best. When I became a father, I was absolutely determined that my kid would have his dad's guiding presence in his life.

Physical distance from our kid is toxic; emotional distance is even more toxic. Someone else once said that any male can spawn a child, but it take a real man to be a father.

Popularity is not leadership

"Governor Arnold Schwarsenegger's approval rating at an all time low; he's less popular than Gray Davis," reported LA Weekly.

That's the problem with so many of today's leaders. Their idea of leadership is to take surveys and polls and find out what's popular, and then try to adopt their stance. They want to be all things to all people, and they end up being nothing to nobody. They think popularity is leadership.

But popularity is not leadership.

Selling has no seniority system

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has a chapter titled: "Starting Low but Ending High: A reversal of the anchoring effect in auctions"

The Singaporean dream has always been to start at the bottom and make it to the top.

There is no "bottom"in sales. A 45-year old veteran and a 1-week rookie are on the same level when they go in to see a customer. It is the level of professional skill that determines which one gets the sale.

Selling has no seniority system. Just because you have been around a long time does not mean you are more professional or successful than another. Some 20-year sales veterans have 1 year's experience repeated 20 times, while others grow with each passing month and reach higher levels of professionalism in a short time.

Keep teaching and selling separate

"You can use our roadshow to educate the team about your resort," Mr Gallard offered.

We sales people encounter this a lot: in order to sell our products we have to teach the prospect about it. We have to fulfill both roles - salesperson and teacher.

When doing presentations, we need to educate (what is it?) and sell (why buy it?) at the same time. I find that using 2 different backgrounds in the powerpoint presentation, 1 for teaching slides and 1 for sales slides, is more effective.

CV review

"We have a suitable candidate. Please see the attached resume. Could you do the interview as well?" Pak D wrote in his email.

The 1st step in screening out the obviously inappropriate candidate is the resume review. I should insert a word of warning here: sometimes, diamonds in the rough could be screened out from the group. I always keep in mind when reviewing resumes, that when in doubt, the benefit of the doubt should go to the applicant. I would at least interview him or her.

Job-hopping per se should not be a knockout, as it all too often is, but the reasons for those changes and the kind of changes might be. For example, individuals with the kind of strong personality we might wish to hire might just be the people who will not tolerate a job that obviously does not meet their needs. So, in some instances, the very people who are automatically eliminated because they are job-hoppers can be the very people that we might really want to hire.

Open with a big bang

"After this, my 5 colleagues will speak for 5 minutes each, updating you about the happenings in their respective markets," Andrew announced.

You're not alone in suffering some nerves, perhaps the occassional terror, before speaking or presenting.

Each and every presentation is a performance. Most audiences are not braced to0 be bored, rather they are eager to be informed and entertained. We all remember openings and closings of presentations far more than all the palaver in between. I usually craft my openings to grab attention, to get people to sit up and notice and be hooked into listening.

We all remember presentations that open with a compelling or funny story. I usually tell a story.

Bullying

"Youth bravado, not organised gang activity,"reported TODAY online this morning. There has been a spat of youth (supposedly gang-related) attacks in Singapore recently.

Many schools today are a battleground. Boys make trouble to get noticed. Girls ask for help but boys often just act for help.

It's a sad fact that bullying is a part of many boys'lives. A study of 20,000 primary and secondary school children across Australia found that 1 in 5 students were bullied at school at least once a week.

While the above may sound somewhat obvious, the fact is that boys often won't talk about bullying in the 1st instance because it seems weak to do so. The way I see it, almost every child, boy or girl, will experience bullying, and, if helped to acquire assertive skills, will overcome it.

My kid brought me to life

Everybody loves....BABIES is a visually stunning new movie which simultaneously follows 4 babies around the world - in namibia, Mongolia, Tokyo and san Francisco - from 1st breath to 1st step.

No mountain climb can match the fatique of the 1st 12 months of parenthood, and no accolade can match the pleasure of our own child running towards us with arms open wide.

Screen budget

"We live in a cyber-age," Vic said after finishing his lontong. "My 5-year old is so good with computer games."

Technology is taking over the home. PSP games, PC games, Wii, Nintendo DS games are here to stay, and we parents can't always stop this technorace.

The best we can do is to provide speed bumps and pit stops to slow it down. We create a screen budget...allowing ACE a certain amount of screen time weekly.

After all, there is a bright side to technology that we parents should allow and a dark side to technology that we must stop.

The world is what we make of it

I watched an ad on Mediacorp Channel 5 about road rage and found it interesting.

Many people who are very kind in their own homes and offices can become very unkind and selfish once they get behind the steering wheel of a car. This is probably due to the fact that in their own home they are known; in the car they have the advantage of anonymity and hence can be almost brutal without fear of discovery.

If we believe that most people in the world are crooks, it is amazing how many crooks we find. If, however, we go into the world with the assumption that everyone is nice, we are constantly running into nice people. To a great extent the world is what we make it.

Knowing ourselves

ACE and I watched Analyze This - a movie about a when mobster (starring Robert De Niro), suffered a crisis of confidence, threatening his ability to lead his criminal empire, he turned to professional help of a psychiatrist (starring Billy Crystal).

We would do well to analyze ourselves and not come to know ourselves through the analysis of someone else. There is something called inward looking...reflection.

Be forgiving

"The things 2 people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it is not bcause they forget; it's because they forgive," so said Demi Moorein Indecent Proposal.

The attitude, "I'll never forgive you for that!" is the surest way for wounds and hurts in relationship never to heal. An unmerciful, unforgiving attitude leads to discouragement and depression.

How many partners have the habit of dredging up past mistakes - in private or public - to embarrass or put down a partner? That's being unmerciful and unforgiving. It reopens old wounds.

We are all - you and I imperfect human beings in an imperfect world. So when we're wrong why not simply say, "I'm sorry."

If an abusive partner asks for forgiveness, be willing to give it. If we fail to apply the law of mercy and forgiveness, we guarantee that past mistakes and shortcomings will destroy a relationship.

Spending less time together.

"It's all sorted out now," Connie remarked as she sipped her unwooded chardonnay. "We are finally separated."

We become so used to our partner's constant presence that we often forget that we need to be there too, every step of the way. Sometimes we treat our clients better than our partner.

If we're like the majority of people out there, we probably have a hard time seeing our partner for who or she truly is. Our vision has blurred with years of familiarity.

As time goes on, spending time with our partner often become less and less of a priority. We feel as if we've seen it all and done it all. There's no magic, no thrill of the chase, no mystery. While we may not have "lost that loving feeling" our job resumes its role as our number one priority, and spening time with our spouse becomes more of an obligation than a private pleasure.

Forgiveness frees the forgiver

"His love brought us together, the way my hate tore us apart." Mandira assessed at the end of the movie "My Name is Khan"

Sometimes we attach our entire lives to the moment we were hurt and allow it to consume our very existence. We travel with that hurt - and brood over it every time it comes to mind. We sleep with it, eat with it. We "wrong"that has been done to us dictates how we speak to our children, our spouses and our friends.

The rage we nurture is often 1-sided, for our offender seldom gives thought to his offense! By forgiving, we are no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. We give up our bitterness.

Forgiveness frees the forgiver.

Charisma needs people skills

ITB Asia started today. Many DOSMs from around the region gathered in Suntec.

We can't be a charismatic sales leader without honing our people skills. Finance, accounting, information technology - almost any kind of intellectual skill - can be taught, for a price. People skills, however, are largely self-taught, and many smart, highly successful people I know forget to teach themselves.

The way I see it: charismatic sales leaders demonstrate their people skills in 3 basic areas: empathy, developing others and customer orientation.

from left: Matt, Shirley, Sabine, Steve, Gurnnel, Chloe

Prospect, prospect, prospect - an endless funnel

"Our work will never end," Mr Yew proclaimed

This is one of my critical success factor: Everytime I close something, I prospect or qualify something else. I take one morning a week, every week, to scout around for new clients - even if I've got more work than I can handle.

from left: Ernie, Francis, James, Vic, Ivy, Markus

Child, we want to know you better

"No matter what I do, I can't talk to my child," "My son just won't open up to me." The article in Psychalive started.

We love our children, but talking to them in a meaningful manner isn't always easy. Maybe from time to time, we do have a heartfelt conversation that feels like we are getting hold of our children's day to day lives - even their inner feelings. But most of the time it's frustrating :

"how was school today?"

"Okay."

"What is one thing you learned today?"

"Nothing."

We want to know more about their random thought, their hopes, their preferences, their perspectives, their disappointments, what they are learning about life. We want to know them better.

Ace and I

My epitaph

I received an email from Christopher today. It contained 33 horrific images of the bus accident at the Malaysian North-South Highway which killed and injured 40 over people.

I sometimes think about my epitaph. What do i want to be remembered for? While I do not fear the end of the game, I do want to make sure that I finish well, and that I leave something behind no one can take away from me.

No right or wrong answer

"My parents live in the province, 3 hours away from Bangkok," Khun Nuch said after swallowing her prawn. "I visit them evry month."

I have known people who visit their parents every day. I know of others who visit much less often. And I have come to understand that it is unfair to measure love by how often one visits or calls.

I have come to a negotiated peace with myself. I speak with my parents once a week on the phone, a habit we established over 5 years ago when I relocated to Singapore. I am grateful that they are alert and able to do this. It gives me great comfort to be able to speak with them and know that they are OK. I try to visit them once every 6 weeks.

And there is no right or wrong answer. The answer is, the answer changes with every individual.

Accept challenges in life

"I am having migraine," Peggy's status on her blackberry messenger read. "I am having so much problems at work."

No matter what our lives or occupations are, there are daily challenges. I never back away from these challenges - I accept them! I see them as ways of enlarging my horizons.


Challenges are opportunities!

yin and yang

"He is really stupid. He's like a bulldozer...knocking his head into the wall," Khun Sitaporn commented.

The world consists of a delicate balance of 2 opposing forces. Asians refer to them as yin and yang.


The lalang bends easily in the wind. The great oak stands unmoved. A strong wind can uproot the oak, but no wind, however strong, can uproot the lalang that bends flat before it.


I have learned that if we are willing to do whatever is needed to overcome challenges - even including yielding - we will win.

You can pull spaghetti. You gotta pull it

"The seller-buyer appointment scheduling is at 4pm," Vic noticed. "I would skip the briefing and go at 3pm and start queuing," I shot back.

A renowned general once said," Your platoon is like a piece of spaghetti. You can't push it. You've got to get out in front and pull it."

My take is this: a leader leads from the front, not from behind. I take the risks I ask others to take.

Every new day changes me

"2 boys turned aggressive when a team from the New Paper approached them to follow up on a story that appeared in a chinese newspaper the day before," reported The New Paper. "Lianhe Wanbao reported on Monday that a man forced his wife and 2 children to run around their Circuit Road about 40 times over 3 hours on Sunday afternoon."

As a kid, I began to change just from simple childhood experiences. When I was 5, and followed my late grandad to market daily, I learned how to negotiate and bargain. That changed me. When I had asthma and couldn't go out to play, I learned to love reading and writing - and that changed me forever. When I was 18, and started working selling PCs, I learned to endure tough work. And when I was 19, and started travelling around Europe for 28 days on my own, I learned to be independent. All these changes helped me to learn. The most important things I learned was that the smarter I got, the dumber I realised I was.

If we don't change at least a little on every one of our chapters in life, we're just going through the motions.

Picture sells

"We got to pay top money to get good pictures," Nelly instructed.

A picture really does paint a thousand words; certainly it does a better job of communication than words alone. Until recently I thought that psychologists said people process images 4 times faster than text, however I recently found a reference to visual processing being 400 times faster than hearing spoken words.


Images are "language independent"and can add an element of emotion as well as conveying the core content of a message.

Investment of time

"I am going to bring my son to watch a play on Children's Day,"Molly revealed while queuing for jack Canfield to sign her books.

Like many fathers, I find that the more successful I am, the less time I have for my family. What I'm learning, sometimes the hard way, is that I have to say "no"to some things in order to be successful in family things.

Each day, everyone of us is given an alloted amount of time - 24 hours, 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds. Whichever way we count it, we only have so much time and when it's gone, it's gone. We will never get back one hour, one minute or one second.

I look at my time as an investment. I believe one the best and smartest investments of my time is in my child's life, not only for him, but for me as well. We're building a legacy that will hopefully live on long after we're gone. When we breathed our last breaths, we can't take any of our achievements and material things with us. What will really matter are the lives we've poured ourselves into, especially our children who will grow up to affect hundreds of people.

Barbara Bush went so far as to say,"At the end of your life you will never regret not having one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child or a parent."

ACE and I

Create a clear sense of direction

" The thing that great leaders have in common is a vision and their ability to communicate it to their people," Mario lectured.

If the people that work with us and for us have no clear sense of their purpose or in what direction they should be moving, the reason is 1 of 2 things - and both of them are unacceptable. Either we leaders have not created a clear sense of purpose and direction for our people, or we have been ineffective in communication it to our people.

Fear

"There is a problem with your visa," the Russian immigration officer said in the train. "Your visa has been closed. You cannot enter Russia. You have to go back to Finland."

Although most people don't like to talk about it, fear seems to be an integral part of life. Every leader that I have been close to - close enough that thy would level wih me - has described times that fear has loomed large in her/his life.

Dealing with uncertainty, managing ambiguity, not always knowing what to do comes with the territory of being a leader.

Experiencing fear does not mean we cannot accomplish something.

No-hassle experience

"It is just not about getting the business at a high price," Agnese divulged. "I try to be flexible to my customer's needs. I help them in any way I can."

In our business, we're selling prompt replies. We sell flexibility. We sell accurate billing invoices. We sell a memorable meeting experience. We sell ease of doing business.

In short, we sell a "no-hassle" experience.

We must know what customers value and then tell them what we offer. The 2 lists should match; if they don't, we are the ones who is going to have to change, not our customers.

Fly unstable

"We have an advantage. We are a small vessel. A small vessel can turn faster in turbulent waters and avoid hitting the iceberg," Umehara preached. "That's why the Titanic sunk. They are big and didn't change course fast enough."

We have to be faster in idea generation, implementation and reaction. We are a smaller group of people working under less supervision, making up the process as we go along, relying less on exhaustive research and more on informed instinct. Our people are multi disciplinary and recruited for talent and attitude as much as being good team players.

Everyone understands who they are - completely on the ball.

Customers want experiences.

"My customers want special extras, like upgrades, free limo pickup, fruit baskets and champagne," Katrin said as-a-matter-of-factly.

No longer do customers buy merely for functional use but also for the experiences created during the purchase and service.

It is time to get our act together - goods, and services are no longer enough. Customers now want experiences and they are willing to pay for them, and only those of us who truly engage our guests will succeed.
from left: Bunny, Summer, Shirley, Long

Mistakes are inevitable; dissatisfied customers aren't

"Address the problem, meet the guest and offer a solution immediate while the guest is still in-house," the participants of the focus group unanimously agreed. "Don't wait till he checks out...then it's too late."

I've found out that the faster we correct a problem, the better. The customer wants an immediate adjustment, not wait for someone to ask a manager or "check with finance."

The best way to create a fast recovery time is to empower front line employees to make customers happy. We have to authorise our front-line people to take corrective action when it's needed.

Mistakes are inevitable; dissatisfied customers aren't. Unhappy customers, once made happy become our most loyal customers. We have to do whatever it takes to turn a negative situation around.

And do it even if the error isn't ours. Those situations in particular create the excellent experiences customers rave about to their friends, family and colleagues.

from left: Shirley, Bunny, Summer, Alex, Johnson

Promoting from within

"Instead of promoting me, they hired someone from outside,"Agnese recounted. "That's why I left and started this company 2 months ago."

Many employees will ultimately measure their firm's commitment to them by the degree to which they had the opportunity to achieve careerwise all they are capable of achieving.

I have a comprehensive promotion-from-within program, and adhere to this program tenaciously.

It's all in the mind

"England keeping tabs on Rooney's mind," many sports papers including the Daily Mail reported recently

One of the most ragged cliches in sports is the importance of "the mental game," that players who are psychologically prepared will have an edge on competitors who might be more physically gifted. Like most cliches, it's absolutely true.

And since sports is such an irresistible metaphor among business executives, "mental toughness" is also essential in the corporate world.

Keep everyone laughing

"Where do you come up with these one-liners," Adrian asked when he stopped laughing.

A guy who can remember jokes and keep his friends laughing will form few enemies. The only danger of telling jokes and being everyone's friend is that you may attract the reputation of being a clown and therefore not capable of anything but being a clown.

from left: Johnson, Jia Li, Ms Mao Tai, Alex and Bunny

Loyalty flows both ways.

"If it's their fault, I will let them burn," BeRt said. "But if it's not, then I will back them up."

We must cultivate staff that we can trust. I never judge the members of my team by raw ability alone. I look at character.

I always remember that loyalty flows both ways. If we expect loyalty from team members, we must also be prepared to stand by them at every turn.

standing: Brian (left), Tanuj (right)

front row: Vic (Left), Emy (right)

Continuous recruiting

"6 Tips for effective recruiting on social media sites," mashable.com ran an article.

Recruitment should be a continuous process, not only when a vacancy occurs. I believe a proactive approach to recruiting reduces the likelihood of holding on to a staff whom we should let go or hiring an unqualified staff because we have an open position.

Surviving and thriving at trade shows

CiBTM starts tomorrow.

Selling at a trade show or roadshow is not a normal physical activity. Standing on ultrahard concrete (that gets harder by the hours) and being nice to visitors all day will strain even the most seasoned sales veteran.

To find that to feel our best and be our best, we must be in good physical condition.

Getting in shape for the show will keep our energy high all day long. This way, we'll be way ahead of our competition.
Johnson (right), Alex (centre)

Working through challenges

"I am leaving my boyfriend,"Ada updated the status of her blackberry messenger.

Relationships are a union of 2 imperfect individuals and by staying committed even when it doesn't feel all that good, we can make the relationship stronger. Sometimes walls have to come down, habits and priorities have to change.

This much I know: It takes courage, commitment and character to work it out.

What goes around, comes around

"I feel so down," Peggy wrote in her Blackberry message. "The chairman said that I should leave the company. It's definitely the b%#*h who poked me behind my back."

Here's the brutal truth: the higher the corporate mountain we climb, the more people will evaluate, judge, and criticize us. The more successful we become, the larger the pool of people who will potentially dislike us.

The expression "what goes around, comes around"really is true. I know it to be true. It has been proven in life.

Communites can be good business

"Smart companies gain from online communities," screamed the headlines on Asiaone News

More and more communities are built on the internet nowadays. Communities are built around common interests, such as tasting fine wines, listening to R&B music or practices: sales leaders no matter where they reside.

Having a customer base that shares a common interest such as travelling is priceless. We can create a community to keep these customers coming back for more. And by eavesdropping electronically on customers'public communication with one another, we'll learn what's on their mind, what they value and what they care about; in short - you have our hands on these people's pulses.

Most companies would kill for this kind of information. Fostering community can be very good for business.

Learning from pressure

"I have had to do all my marketing and promotional activities on a shoe-string budget," moaned Ros.

Have you ever worked for someone with impossible deadlines? Have you ever been forced to produce with a lot less than your competition? I have learned invaluable lessons and that experience changed my thinking and behaviour. It's clear to me that these ruthless use of time and demands to do it quicker and better separate winners from the losers. But I never confuse haste with speed.

Don't retort if you don't have to

"The best way to win an argument is to stay out of one," Eric wisely concluded.

Be an owl, I was told. Owls, they say, are supposed to be wise because they appear wise all the time and hoot only occassionally.

"I wish you'd learn to save once in a while."

"You're a cheapskate"

"Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Is money so important to you?"

"I should never have married you."

Why hasten unhappiness with a retaliatory retort? I'll spare myself the unnecessary follow-through. Leave my blood pressure closer to normal.

This attitude, I find, retains friendships and close the door on many of the delibilating diseases that unhappiness can bring.

I know. I've tried it.

Women power

I have a team of team of 8 ladies in the office.

Research is abundantly clear that women "get people"better than men do. It's not even a close contest. MRI scans reveal that women have as many of 16 distinct areas of the brain where they process and interpret behaviours and messages while in contrast, men typically have no more than 6 distinct areas.

Women tend to better able to multitask and handle several different streams of thought at the same time, while men are better at working through 1 or 2 streams of thought at a time before moving on to others.

from right: jades, Let, Stephie

Caring is good business

"People want their staff to stay long but they do not know how to look after them well," Irene remarked over her hotpot.

Caring is not a warm fuzzy new age concept. It's good business.

Staff treat customers exactly the way they're treated by their leaders. Companies that care for their staff attract the best talent and keep that talent longer. Teams perform better when they're led by caring leaders.

In a nutshell: people don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.

I always try to offer respect, understanding and acknowledgement so that I'll foster incredible loyalty.

from left: Shirley, Vic, Colin

Alighn actions and words

"Talk the talk and walk the walk,"Dato Ong used to preach.

My overall goal is to improve the business' position by creating an environment of speed,agility, creativity and flexibility. So, by bringing my actions and words into alignment, I hope to increase my credibility with the important Generation X and Y members of my team.

I care, therefore I criticise

In the Chinese movie "Aftershock", a young mother of 2 is forced to give up her daughter to save her son. And since then, the cruel decision changed the whole family's destiny.

Some family members feel they have not only the right but an obligation to tell when they think someone's doing something wrong.

To the one who is being told to do things differently, what comes through loudest and clearest is the criticism. But the one offering suggestions and judgments is usually focused on the caring.

It's impossible to say which is right; both meanings are there. But I can only say this: I care, therefore I criticise.

What women want

"You have a good title, money and nice cars, and they will all come for you like bees to honey," Benny preached.

Many of my mates mistakenly believe that if they can just make vice president, the girls will be all over them. Not quite. It's taken me a while, but I now know that they don't want your money; they want your time. They want your attention. They want a soul mate.

And they still want you to be a gentleman. That's something that will never go out of style. All women, or all the good ones anyway, have a sixth sense for dishonesty. And they swear by the zero-tolerance approach.