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Capturing hearts and dollars of consumers

"When will Universal Studios open in Singapore,"Sook Ling asked during our bus ride to Holiday Lodge for lunch. "I like to go to these theme parks but I am afraid to get on the roller coasters","she shared later in the conversation.

Most parents like me don't take our kid to Disneyland just for the event itself but rather to make that shared experience part of everyday family conversations for months, and even years, afterwards.

I sincerely believe that those companies which capture this value will not only earn a place in the hearts of consumers, they will capture their dollars.

Emotional vs rational

"Let's sell experience," Anand declared after the euphoria of having his first gulp of beer in Brunei settled down. " Let's sell memories."

The Energizer Bunny has become part of popular culture. Does it have profound meaning in shaping consumers' lives? No.

Learning from the best marketing gurus in my 20+ years in the business, I say let's create an emotional rather than rational-based relationship with consumers. Especially when marketing lesser known brands/products/destination. A brand like Bintan will not break through by being more convenient or trustworthy. It will only succeed when it offers the consumer an emotional reward and/or relationship that brands like Bali cannot match.

Remember who we are

"Dear Paul" the email from Konen started. Though it was personalized, clearly it was a generic email sent to a pool of contacts as the name was clearly merged. "Dear Partners" another email started. This one didn't even take the trouble to find out my name.

Like you, I get lots of solicitations, both in the emails, mail and by phone. Of course, the phone calls are the most annoying.

If you're like me, you enjoy dealing with organisations that respect your time, treat you as a valued customer and cater to your individual needs.

Now turn the tables around. I frequently review how well my organisation do. I leverage today's e-business techniques to make it easy for customers to interact with us directly and tell us more about themselves.
Dennis (left), Clement (right)

Momentum and speed

"I started at this new company a few weeks ago," Frankie announced to me while drinking his coffee.

In order to maintain momentum and speed, an organisation needs to ensure that new staff members are brought quickly up to speed. Two of my newest team members start their 1st day offsite on a day of review and planning where we discussed where we were, where we want to go and how to get there.

Unfortunately, the orientation at most companies is limited to, "Here are the forms to complete, HR has a video for everyone to see, then they'll give you a tour and show you around, .....let me know if you need anything.....the end."

From left: Diah, Rae and Shirley

Letting love have the last word

"Attack is the best form of defense," Johnson revealed. "That is true for business and marriage."

Every couple has their differences.

In truth, I have learned to back down, rather than launch a counterattack when wifey and I argue. In the past, if the other person went ballistic, I went nucleur. But I realise now that it does no good to be vengeful in arguing with a loved one. No one wins when one of you hurt the other. It is far better to let love, not anger, have the last word.

Non-verbal communication influences in business

Last week, I conducted a human-emoticon game during the kick-off meeting. It is about non-verbal communication.

Body language and nonverbal behaviours are important in the real world of business. They influence how we are perceived, how we are treated and the level of success we might achieve.

Non-verbal cues in meetings such as where we sit, how we sit, whether or not we sit affects how those meetings unfold and the outcomes they produce.

Hidden messages

"Why do the people we love and care for most, turn out to be the ones who hurt us the most?," Winnie asked with sincere grief.

There are things we treasure and things that iritate about each person in our lives, including each person in our families. At times those irritation blossom into arguments.

Everything we say to each other echoes with messages left over from our past experience. We react not only to the meaning of the words spoken - the message - but also to what we think those words say about the relationship - the hidden message (tone of voice, phrasing, etc).

A crucial step in breaking the gridlock of frustrating conversations is learning to separate messages from hidden messages.

Do unto others before they do unto you

"I find my new boss very aggressive,"Michelle blurted when she was in the hot seat.

Life, is by its nature, a competitive environment, and certainly business life is a constant contest. We have to have a certain amount of competitive nature to thrive in it. I see it this way: competition is a good thing for personal and professional growth. The "positive hardship"that comes from struggling with a foe stengthens and sharpens our skills.

Here's my competitive version of the golden rule: Do unto others before they do unto you.

The 4-letter F word we don't mention in public

Ex-Manchester United player Bojan Djordjic was in Singapore for a pre-season tour with Swedish ChampionsAIK Solna. "Ryan Giggs reminds me all the time then, don't forget what are the things I'm good at," he recalled what he learned at United. "Instead of playing safe all the time, thinking 'I'm just going to pass it'. When the safe passes go wrong, you can't show what you're good at."

What's a 4-letter word beginning with "F" that we don't mention in public? We're talking about fear - something everyone's got and no one admits to.

I remember when I was a kid lying in bed in my darkened room. In the shadows, things weren't so clear and everything turned scary. The cap on the chair came alive; the toy soldier in the corner became a ghost. In uncertain situations the same kind of thin happens.

Most people, myself included, who thrive on change usually do a reality-check. "What's the worst thing that could happen if the situation doesn't work out?" By quantifying the risk, we shift the way we look at things from a fear-based to a reality-based perspective. Everything's a matter of perspective.

Guilt free guy time

"Though we are married, I do my thing, and she does hers," Jon bragged.

Oh sure. You're married but you can go off and do whatever you want, whenever you want to, for as long as you want to, and come home whenever you want to. You don't have to call. You never feel guilty, not even for a single nanosecond.

Point #1 is that that's guy heaven. Point #2 is that it's never going to happen.

Because if you actually did that, you'd get booted out of the house in about 6 weeks, and you'd wind up alone. That would turn out to be not as much fun as it sounds.

Everything accelerates

"I am so stressed I can't sleep," Chloe lamented. "I have so much things to do."

Studies reveal that workers today have far less free time than their parents and grandparents. In my childhood days, businesses used to be conducted via regualr mail. With faxes, DHL and emails, gone are the lag time in communication. Decisions have to be made quicker. As communication accelerates, productivity fills in the gaps, making more work.

In countries like Singapore and Japan, the most precious commodity is not food - it is time. Time to do the things we enjoy, and unfortunately, time to do more work.

The good news of the generations

"I am doing a program for Generation Y," Kraft revealed while appreciating the lobster bisque. "I have done a lot lately of research on Gen Y and I am pleasantly surprised with what I found."

Despite all that's been written and discussed about the clash of the generations, I see signs of growing respect between the baby boomers and Gen X and Y. With the growth of technology's role in the workplace, older managers should, I feel, respect the skills of the younger people they work with.

As a leader, I believe that collaboration between the generation is key to success, because we need to use each other's skills and behaviour to get further than we could on our own.

I know this, after all, I am Gen Y trapped in a baby boomers body.

From right: Let and Rae

1st and lasting impressions

"I enjoyed our meeting this afternoon," Thomas remarked.

1st impressions are lasting ones, based on voluminous research, and experts say those impressions are set in the 1st 10 seconds of a meeting. In those seconds the other person will either respect us or discount us. And all that person did was look at us.

Let's assume we have a business appointment with a stranger. We walk into the room and

1. He sees us, and makes his judgement

2. Then he hears us, how we sound and what we say.

3. He touches us by shaking our hand, and a firm handshake can make all the difference

4. At that range, he can probably smell us

Don't live alone behind walls

"Our lives are shaped by those who love us," Sheen wrote and continued "by those who refuse to love us."

We need to be able to express ourselves without fear of rejection by others. Too often the problems that we keep submerged within us, remain undefined and therefore destructive.

Our real fear is that we would be rejected, that the other person would not understand us.

I think it is wiser to take the risks of confiding in another than to live alone behind walls and masks. Never build a wall until you know what you're walling in...and what you're walling out.

High and low tides in a marriage

"Sania says she will quit tennis after marriage," The headlines is on this morning's The Times of India. India's most successful female tennis player Sania Mirza revealed that she will hang up her racquet after getting married.

For centuries, couples in a rush of passion had joined hands, locked eyes and optimistically promised to do impossible things for one another for the rest of their lives.

We had 13 years of high and low tides. On occassions, it was a day at the beach - smooth, sunny and calm. Other times, it was stormy and angry.

There are no marriage manuals. There are no exchanges nor refunds. No lifetime batteries.

We want to believe that marriage is harder now because of the times we live in. But every marriage since the beginning of time has had to contend with the same difficulties. Only the names change.

Organised mind-power

Flight IT3355 has just arrived to mumbai from Delhi. I am in the city where Mahatma Gandhi attempted to establish a law practice and failed. He later went to South Africa before returning to India and led the struggle for Indian Independence.

The sources of Mahatma Gandhi's influence over more than 100million of his followers wasa great mystery to many people. They could not understand how a man who had no money, no military equipment, no organised soldiers could defy the powerful British Government and so successfully get away with it.

He simply mobilised the mid-power of more than 100million people. Organised mind-power is greater than organised military power.

In order to condition my mind to attain my goals, I have learned to close the doors of my mind to whatever causes me anxiety, fear, envy, greed and the desire of something for nothing.

The power of training

I was in Disneyland and DisneySea Tokyo 2 weeks ago. Despite the monster queues, we had a whale of a time (forgive the pun comparing whales and monsters)

One might think that Disneyland pays a premium for extra courteous and friendly employees. In fact, employees are hired from the same pool as every other organization and paid the going rate. The not-so-secret method by which ordinary people are transformed into Disney employees is found in the way they are trained.

A veteran Disney Institute facilitator went so far as to say "WE don't put people in Disney. We put Disney in people."

Appreciate the housewife

"My parents are conservative Indians. When I get married and when baby arrives, I will stop working to tend to my baby," Mohini said as-a-matter-of-factly.

The woman who decides to be a homemaker is choosing as high an occupation as it is possible to choose. No executive, great financier, famous entertainer or sports personality has a greater calling or profession. It's time we all realised that.

But, partially because of the feminist movement, the role of homemaker and housewife has been relegated to practically bottome rung on the ladder of respect in this age. Women have been made to feel that if they are not in the battle for top executive jobs in the professions, theyare not fulfilling their potential and aren't worth much

It just isn't true! There is no higher calling for a woman than to be a homemaker - a full-time wife and mother. No higher calling!

That statement may not win a popularity contest with the women's lib movement, but that remains the truth.

No magic switch...just an attitude

"Don't Let Anyone Rain on your Parade." That was the title of the article by M.J. Campbell....specializing in executive and team coaching.

We would much rather blame someone or something for making us feel unhappy than take the steps to make ourselves feel better. We even talk about our feelings as if they were visitors from outer space. "This feeling came over me," "I felt that way." We speak as if our feelings change from sunny to stormy like the weather, over which we have no control.

This much I know: there is no magic switch. Only an attitude.

Stone age vs rock age

"Squirrels in my pants," "Gitchi Gitchi Goo means I Love You", "Danny Story's Song", "Ain't got no Rhythm" This is a list of songs from Disney Channel's original series Phineas and Ferb. My son listens to this music nowadays. Gone are the days of "Barney is a dinosaur"

I reason if I understood young people's music, maybe it would not set my teeth on edge. It's the stone age vs the rock age.

A tip from a parent to all parents: Enjoy every stage and every age...they all pass too quickly.

Survival of a family

"Have we met your family?"Natalie asked me. "Perhaps both our families should go on a trip sometime soon."

Raising a family isn't something I put on my resume, but I have to ask myself, would I apply for the same job? I would do it again and again and again.

It is hard work. It is a lot of of crud details. Why do we continually test one another's patience, loyalty and love? Could it be that's what the survival of a family is based upon?

Losses are inevitable

"Last year was not good for me," Alex said solemnly. "My nephew was 20 years old when he was struck and killed by lightning in December."

The reality is that all relationships inevitably will be dissolved and broken. Like the rise and fall of the ocean tides, disruptions of human relationships occur throughout life, such as loss of parents, death of a mate, divorce, marital separation, death of family members, children leaving home, death of close friends, change of neighbourhoods and loss of acquaintances by retirement from work.

Diffrent people react and respond to losses in different ways. While we may react with anguish to a divorce or loss of job, another individual may hardly be affected.

Definition of Divorce: Future tense of marriage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband and I divorced over religious differences

He thought he was God, and I didn't

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A golden opportunity

"A well-handled problem usually breeds more loyalty than you had before the negative incident," Richard said, quoting Tom Peters.

Customers who are upset can be very animated, vocal and emotional. For this reason, many salespeople would agree that dealing with an irate customer is, at best, an unpleasant experience.

On the other hand, I have found that dealing with an irate customer is a golden opportunity to turn him/her into a customer (or even advocate) for life.

The delicate balance

"Did your son enjoy Tokyo?"Jason asked cheekily. "There are lots of funny stuff that goes around there."

My wife and I tried to walk that delicate balance between shielding our kid from the worst of life, while also exposing him to life lessons. It is not an easy balance. There is no way to shield our kid from the trash of the world. It hangs like haze in the air. There is no formula for doing this.

What really matters is what path our kid chooses when we can no longer walk the path with him.

Kids will do as we parents do

I watched "The Blind Side" last night. It's about Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, who is taken in by the Touhys, a well-to-do white family who help him fulfill his potential. It stars Sandra Bullock in a potentially award-winning role.

The point here is that for good or ill, we, the parents, are establishing the framework for our child's worldview, character development and choices.

This is not to say that a child's future is inevitably determined by his/her homelife. There are kids who grow up in very rocky home situations with very poor role models who nevertheless turn out to be really neat people. On the flip side of the coin, there are kids who had great parents but nevertheless choose to embrace a very sinful lifestyle.

But both common sense and evidence tell us that - generally speaking - loving and moral homes are far more likely to produce loving and moral kids. I notice that kids tend to imitate the attitudes and actions modelled by their parents.

A match made in heaven?

I watched "Love Happens" on the flight from Narita to Changi. It's the story about a self-help author arriving in Seattle to teach a sold-out seminar. He met a girl who was able to help him help himself.

There is no such thing as a match made in heaven. Rather, God has chosen to grant us a match made in Singapore or Kuala Lumpur or wherever we happen to live. It is all very earthly, with lots of ups and downs, stupid arguments and hurt feelings.

A great relationship is not when the "perfect couple" comes together. It is when an imperfect man and an imperfect woman come together, crazy for each other and learn to accommodate, and even to enjoy their differences.

Making progress in 2010

"My New Year Wish" Today's Straits Times Life section reported 10 newsmakers looking back at 2009 and telling their hopes for 2010.

Every January, a slew of resolutions are made. From losing weight to financial savings, to areas of relationships, career and spirituality.

Why is it that so many of us seem unable to transform resolutions into habits?

The thing is, you and I both know that 12 months ago, we were talking about practically the same issues. And next year, there will be more or less identical resolutions. Regardless of what areas of our lives we would like to transform, there is a gap between desire for change and actually creating real and sustainable change.

The truth is this: diets don't fail. We fail at diets. Savings plans don't fail. We fail at savings plans. relationships don't fail. We fail at relationships.

That's not because we want to fail. We don't go on diets to gain weight. We don't get married to get divorced.

I think it is because we focus too much on the desired outcome and not enough on the progress we are making. Last year, I focused on the progress I was making in the gym and those advances encouraged me to persevere in achieving my goal. In the past, it was when I lost sight of my progress that I became discouraged, and it was discouragement that landed me back into my old self-defeating habits.