Sunday, November 25, 2018

When you've made the wrong decision

At a Victoria's Secret Pink store, Black Friday shopping became a contact sport, reports ABC. The hot item: Sherpa fleece hoodies, marked down from $90 to $35.

Rational decision-making abilities are at their weakest on Black Friday as retailers tend to play on two factors that influence customer choices — pride and regret. Research on decision-making has shown that fear of future regret influences our decision making.

All of us make decisions, particularly important ones, with incomplete information. And when there is time pressure, there is more urgency. All decisions are made in the moment, for the moment.

The truth is we can't know the outcomes of our decisions until after we commit. This is not a new issue but, too often, people seem to find themselves frozen on the trigger, unable to commit and choose. Decidophobia, the fear of making decisions, is a common disease.

What do you do when the facts of a decision tell you that you took the wrong road? When you have gotten, with the best of intentions, into a relationship, a new job, that turns out to be a bad deal, a fiasco?

Most of the time, we stubbornly try to ride out the storm. We pray that the tide will turn, we give it second chances, third chances, and even fourth chances. We tough it out for a while, sometimes a long while, because none of us likes to admit defeat. Yet the longer we fail to do what we know if right, the bigger the potential defeat.

Oxford don C.S. Lewis shared a piece of wisdom: "Don't keep pressing forward trying to prove you were right (a particularly male disease)." You promptly (and painfully) turn back and embark on the right road. That's just what I did. I have made some wrong hiring decisions. It was a painful blow to my overheated ego.

Even with all the data and research intel, there is no such thing as a "sure deal."

If you know you have made the wrong decision, don't persist forever in a state of denial. Fact the brutal facts. And if the facts prove that you're still on the wrong track, bite the bullet, pay the price, get out.

When the horse is dead, dismount.



 

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Vulnerability can be a superpower

From Iron Man to Spider-Man to the Incredible Hulk to the X-Men, Marvel legend Stan Lee captured our imagination and our attention. The father of these superheroes died at age 95.

"Another definition of a hero is someone who is concerned about other people’s well-being, and will go out of his or her way to help them – even if there is no chance of a reward. That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero," Stan the Man once said. 


These days, too many people are determined to get to the top and willing to get that power any way they can.  Undercutting, sidestepping, overstepping, taking people out at the knees, or just going over someone's head - whatever it takes. Too many people, when they get the power they're after, they realize they don't have what it takes to make it effective: respect. 


If a leader has power but no love, compassion, empathy or care for others, then that leader has an empty sort of power. A powerless power. 


I'll say this simply: when it comes to leading, the power of influence always trumps the power of coercion. You pull people in your direction, rather than push them. They follow you because they are drawn to your authenticity and your actions.


I am interested in my team members' lives. (I also know that most people are even more keenly interested in their own lives). Sadly, few leaders ask their team members about their family, their interests, their passions or what they want. 


I am a ladder builder, not a ladder climber. I am always saying, "What can I do to help you? How would I make you successful?" If you make your team successful, your team's going to make you successful. 


I am not afraid to be vulnerable. The bottom line is, I admit that I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to screw up. My people are able to see me for who I truly am, which give them the confidence to express themselves to me. They will tell me when I am nakedly wrong and I have no clothes on. And I need that, because ultimately, success is not about me in the first place. Success is about others, and it's about the mission and the organization. 


Nobody's perfect. When we attempt to present a perfect version of ourselves, we become unapproachable. As a result, false perfection can often turn people off.


Of course, I am in no way saying I do things perfectly, or that I always get things right with my team. Sometimes I blow it completely. But when you get real with people, when you show vulnerability, you connect with them, and you move them to a human level. That gives you real power. 


And with great power there must also come....great responsibility! Spider-Man


Sunday, November 11, 2018

Endure the pain. Enjoy the gain



Mickey Mouse turns 90. Mickey made his official debut in 1928 in “Steamboat Willie,” Hollywood’s first cartoon with synchronized sound. Today, Disney has five of the top 10 grossing global hit movies of all time, selling a cumulative $8.4 billion worth of movie tickets. But behind all of that was one ambitious small-town farm boy who failed as often as he succeeded, and finally found worldwide fame – thanks to a cartoon mouse.
Behind every "overnight success" are years of focused effort, struggle, challenge and rejection. 
I took part in my first dragon boat race last week. I can tell you this with utmost certainty: Enthusiasm is common, endurance is rare. 
I started incredibly strong. I tend to come out of the gates full of force and not strategize my pacing. Halfway through the event, I hit a physical wall. I grimaced in pure exhaustion and wanted to stop. But I kept moving, focusing on the present and embracing the current step. 
In your life and work, you too will experience these moments. I've personally experience them, and I know you can relate.
But endurance is what separates the master from the masses and the amateur from the professional. It separates those who stay focus and persistent on a long enough timeline to watch all their dreams come true.
Endurance is not sexy, it's not flashy. It includes countless moments of doubt and wanting to stop. However, if you last long enough, you'll come out the other side recognizing how this piece of the puzzle puts it all together on your way to the top of the mountain.
The trick is....never compare your start or middle to someone else's ending, or you're never endure. Remember: your mountain is yours.
It's usually the small, undramatic, sustained efforts over time that make the most difference. Even if you're exhausted and on the verge of giving up - take the step.
Focus on taking today's step, understanding that you're building a rock-solid foundation. Understand that at every moment you're crafting your unique story and journey. One day, if you endure long enough, others will call you can overnight success.

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Stop feeling sorry for yourself


Who will be the face of the new £50 note? To celebrate the UK's achievement in science, the Bank of England has invited the public to nominate a scientist as the face of the new plastic £50 note. The scientist must be British and dead, as the Queen is the only living person featured on a Bank of England note. Prof Stephen Hawking has to be one of the frontrunners.
The brilliant physicist who suffered from ALS since he 21 once said: “When I turned 21, my expectations were reduced to zero. You probably know this already because there’s been a movie about it. It was important that I came to appreciate what I did have. Although I was unfortunate to get motor neurone disease, I’ve been very fortunate in almost everything else. I’ve been lucky to work in theoretical physics at a fascinating time, and it's one of the few areas in which my disability is not a serious handicap. It’s also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can lose all hope if you can’t laugh at yourself and at life in general.”
We all experience pain and sorrow in life. A job loss, an illness in the family, or a death of a loved one is sometimes inevitable. During this time, to tell a depressed person to "pull yourself together" is like telling a snail to go faster. 
Good things always happen to everyone else.
Bad things always happen to me
My life just gets worse all the time
No one else has to deal with this stuff.
Can you see yourself in some of the examples above? Some people use self-pity as a way to gain attention. Playing the "poor me" card may result in some kind and gentle words from others - at least initially.
When I notice that I'm starting to feel sorry for myself, I shift my focus. I don't allow myself to continue thinking that life isn't fair or that life should be different. Instead, I list the people, circumstances and experiences in life that I can be thankful for.
You don't have to be rich, wildly successful or have the perfect life to feel grateful. A person who earns $2,500 per month may think he doesn't have much money. But if you're reading this, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.
Reframing the way you look at the situation isn't always easy, especially when you're feeling like the host of your own pity party.
When feeling sorry for yourself is about thinking "I deserve better," gratitude is about thinking "I have more than I deserve." This doesn't mean you should turn something negative into an unrealistically positive affirmation. Instead, strive to find a realistic way to look at your situation.