Sunday, January 31, 2016

Be the bigger person



Life is a school and relationships most often serve as one of the courses of life's classroom. Most of us have, at one time or another, relationship difficulties with a boss, a colleague, a friend, a partner, a family member.

Most people know right from wrong but why don't they do the right thing? For that matter, prisons are full of people who understood the moral concepts but who didn't grasp the consequences.

I am not responsible for the weather because I cannot make it change. But, unless you have a rare disability, you can control your behaviour and responses. It is not necessarily easy to control our behaviours when we feel angry, afraid or depressed.

In these moments, I try my best to heed the recent advice of a wise man: "Be the bigger person."

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Be in the present

Peggy published a post on LinkedIn about being a mother and a business leader, titled "Mom, are you going away again?"

Life is about love. I am a firm believer that we should find what we love and do it. For many people, the only obstacle between them and work they can feel passionate about is financial commitment. Then you would have to ask yourself, if you are willing to adjust your lifestyle.

I love my life and I would never trade it for anyone else's. I have found something that I am passionate about. I get to do what I love and for that I am grateful. I have work that I can throw myself into with passion, energy and enthusiasm, and I am infinitely aware of how rare that is.

Is everything about my work life perfect? Of course it isn't. There are a lot of airports, security threats and the glamour of travel wears off very quickly. There's also the being away and missing your loved ones and children

Hence the acute need to be truly in the present when we spend time with our children. By engaging our minds with our kids, we let our children know that we love and respect them and are interested in what they say. With children it's the little things that count - like asking about a sore finger or reading a story at night. However, too often we are more interested in making our own points than in really hearing what our children are saying.

After all, Mother Teresa did say, "We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love."

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Don't be afraid to be a kid every now and then

"Don't be childish," Lucas commented. "But it's perfectly ok to be childlike."

Most of us have serious lives with serious jobs where we have to be serious to other serious people. I have learned that acting like an immature child every now and then is a vital way to stay young and keep your mind light and joyful

I consider myself to be professional and carry myself in a manner that sets examples for my customers and colleagues, however, I still laugh and act like a kid at times. Don't be afraid to be immature sometimes.

Ernest Hemmingway went so far as to say "The moment you stop doing things for fun, you may as well be dead.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Changes in the balance of power

Dad turns 77 today.

Even though adults may have been independent for a long time, the love between parent and adult child often still carries some of the taste of childhood dependence. Parents still maintain the flavour of wisdom and experience, still wield the power of approval and disapproval. As they age into frailty, their new dependence on their grown children throws all established patterns into chaos.

For me, along with changes in the balance of power, some changes in the nature of love. I find myself feeling protective of my parents in new and disquieting ways. Just as I was once under the cover of their umbrella, they now seek shelter under mine. I give up a love that depends upon my parents and assume a new kind of love that is responsible for their welfare.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Wrestle with worry

We drove past Sarinah Mall 10 minutes before the bombings and shootings started. I got out of Jakarta on the last flight that same night.

We worry about a lot of things, don't we? I don't know if you have noticed, but things very, very rarely work out the way we think they will.

How often I hear people say, "Worrying won't help", or worrying is not going to change anything." As true as those words are, they don't empower people to say, "You're absolutely right. I won't worry anymore."

Situations that make us nervous or uncomfortable and circumstances that are heartbreaking are an inevitable part of the journey. We must find a way to maintain our inner peace even in the midst of these times. There are no easy answers or solutions to our wrestle with worry. This is soul work.

 

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Steal with pride

We will hold our kick off meeting on 12 Feb.

Corporate brainstorming sessions can be dispiriting, soul-sucking experiences.

We have ideas all the time, throughout the day, everyday. But when we're busy, it can be hard to stop, focus and create the relaxed free time that good new ideas require.

The more effective brainstorming sessions I've been in are those when I didn't need to keep ideas realistic. After all, it just about expanding our choices.

Tom Peters says we should replace the "not invented here" syndrome with the "stolen with pride" syndrome. Usually, when we're actively looking for new possibilities, we'll start seeing them all around us.

One of the most powerful questions I know in such sessions is also one of the simplest: "And what else?" You'll be surprised at what emerges.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Try a little kindness

The Academy Awards is in two months time while the Olympics takes place in eight. I am hard pressed to remember the names of the winners of the previous Oscars and Olympics.

Whether or not we recall the names of the winners of the previous Academy Awards or Summer Olympics, I bet you are like me in the ability to remember the names of two favorite teachers, or friends who stood by us and/or inspired us.

We remember the ones who cared.

I have been reminded recently that acts of kindness close the circle of life and connects us to others. What we do for ourselves dies with us, but what we do for others are held in others' hearts and memories long after we have passed from this earth.

This year, I am determined to do the little things that make a big difference, to bring joy into the my life, and to the lives of others.