Weathering the storm

Elbow bumps are the new handshakes. Mask-wearing EU leaders met in their first face-to-face summit since the coronavirus crisis with elbow bumps not handshakes, to avoid unnecessary touching. The way the world says hello is changing. Italians, known for their warmth and intimate greetings, are simply waving from a distance. On Twitter, people are sharing some creative greetings: Jazz hands, peace signs, air high-fives and finger guns. 

It's ok for you not to feel ok now. 

It's not a secret that life can be stressful at this time, and most of us know (either first-hand or through someone else's experience) that there are a lot of negative ways that people cope with stress. Isolation can be especially difficult, so it is useful if you can reach out to someone for support. While having caring, supportive people around us may not be able to actually change anything, by simply listening to the situation and providing supportive words or positive feedback is an important part of being able to bounce back from adversity.

None of us walks alone in this world. No matter how much talent or skill or passion you have, there will come a moment when, you must rely on the gifts, skills and the commitment of others. Recognizing this truth is the only way to avoid becoming delusional.

I am truly one of the most fortunate person who ever lived. Throughout my life, whenever I have had a real need, someone has always been there to help me. Some people step into your life and leave an imprint in your heart, one that never goes away. They lighten your burdens. When you falter, they help you stand. And you grow in resilience when you do the same for them, because the need to be strong for others often reveals untapped reserves of strength in yourself.

Furthermore, we shouldn't be afraid to let others see the truth of our own struggles - especially when we need their support. In many ways, our transparency is our gift, allowing others to feel less alone.

The people who wants to feel more connected, supported and cared about often believe they need to wait for someone to come and offer those things first. Research shows that one of the most helpful mindset shifts you can make is to see yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience. This study tells us two things. If we focus on comforting, helping and caring for someone, we experience hope and connection. If instead we focus on relieving our own distress, we stay stuck in fear.

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself. Caring creates resilience.

Actions matter far more than motives. I might donate money to charity because it makes me feel good, or feeds my ego, or impresses someone. In either case, the charity still benefits. The motives seem beside the point. If I provide a kind of service, what difference do my reasons make? 

When you're feeling overwhelmed, look for a way to do something for someone else. Your brain might tell you that you don't have the time or energy, but that is exactly why you should do it.  You can give others appreciation, your full attention, or even turn your personal crises into ways to help others. Think of one of the most difficult events of your life. How can you use this story to help others? How can you leverage it to impact someone in a positive way? 

To feel the love of people whom we know is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those we do not know - that is something still greater and more beautiful.

Ask for help, and be of help. Whether you are overwhelmed by your own stress of the suffering of others, the way to find hope is to connect, not to escape.

Why me?

COVID19 cliff: the way of COVID bankruptcies is coming. It includes household names like Hertz, Cirque du Soleil, Dean & Deluca, GNC, True Religion Apparel, J. Crew, Neiman Marcus and ALDO.

Surely we are very far from any "settling down" of this pandemic and world economy. It is thus imperative today for leaders to know how to navigate these turbulent times. There are no miracle cure, no quick fixes.

Some leaders withhold bad news because they are more worried about being liked than dealing with issues that affect everyone. The ones who are frank and transparent become trusted and the team, in spite of uncertain times, remains unified. 

Be visible. Let your people see you leading. Leaders can be quietly competent, but they must be visible by providing assurance, direction and inspiration. 

Our ability to handle life's challenges is a measure of our strength of character. Loss of a job, the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship, your sudden storm is upon you and the pain and fear is so overwhelming. Many people feel lost and alone when they are going through bad times. No matter how difficult your life may become, no matter how hard it gets, there is always reason to keep on going and fighting because no defeat is permanent. Aristotle once said, "To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold."

"Paul, you're either crazy or oversimplifying the problem of pain," some may say. "It's hard to believe that every problem has a silver lining." After all, what good can come from losing your leg and being on drugs or some other serious trials?

Not long ago, I met someone who had just lost the love of her life. She was in pieces, literally broken. She was in a very, very bad state. I imagine the pain she felt, and also the question that must have come up time and again in her mind when trying to find a possible explanation for the inexplicable, to justify the unjustifiable, to understand a tragedy that has no meaning: "Why me?"

Life is unstable. What worked yesterday, today no longer does. Throughout our life, we will experience problems and crisis, there is no question about that, but the good news is that we can learn to manage and over come them. Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has a low point. No one is up all the time, neither are they down all the time. No problem is permanent. Problems do end. They do go away. They are all resolved in time. Storms will give way to the sun. Your storm will pass.

The key is to tenaciously dig in and hold on until the light breaks, the tide turns and the times change for the better. Often the only choice we have is to be strong.

One way to do that is to trust in a power greater than yourself. There is one lesson to be learned, only one. It is a simple lesson. God's delay is not God's denial.