Saturday, December 9, 2017

Difference between aging and feeling old

Coco - the story of a Mexican boy stuck in the Land of the Dead - is among Pixar's best movies in years, thanks to a combination of vibrant visuals, humor and music. For 15 years, Pixar was the best animation studio on the planet. Then it lost its way and the magic faded. With Coco, Pixar has found its mojo.

I turned 53 yesterday. Our society has an aging phobia. Our children are leaving home, our bodies may be getting slower, we see friends dying.

Truth is, worrying about aging only makes us age faster. If we see ourselves as old, then we will be.

Let's recognize there is a huge difference between aging and feeling old.

I'm convinced that none of us reach age 53 without having life knock the props out from under us in some way. Everybody plans a charmed storybook life, but "stuff happens." Despite our best intentions, stress can be unavoidable. Your relationship breaks up. Your experience loss. You get depressed.

It is important to note that for a time in my life, I chose to be blind. Because of that choice, I was blind not only to beauty; I also was blind to opportunity, to forgiveness, to the value in others and a host of other things.

JOHN ORTBERG has this to say: We can have very little and yet be very rich. A rich soul experiences life differently. It experiences a sense of gratitude for what is has received, rather than resentment for what it hasn't gotten. It faces the future with hope rather than anxiety.

To be clear, perspective is how we decide to perceive a thing. Blindness is the decision not to see it at all. We must choose to see before having the opportunity to choose how we see it.

If you're sometimes talking about how "unfair" life is, you'll start to act according to that view, perceiving slights where none exist or, as studies have shown, putting less effort into your work because you've already determined it won't accomplish anything. The unfair view will quickly become your reality.

These days, I embrace humor. Laughter it is said, increases longevity. Being overly serious and intense decreases life span due to chronic illness. Instead, I laugh about things.

I am grateful for every breath, every moment. Cultivating an "attitude of gratitude" has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety, and a higher long-term satisfaction with life. For instance, instead of dreading a birthday, I am grateful I've been gifted with another year to live.
 


Sunday, December 3, 2017

To survive the bleak side of life

$100 billion. On Black Friday, Amazon CEO and founder Jeff Bezos went from being the son of a 16-year old mom to the world's richest person when he hit a net worth of $100 billion. When he was 17 months old, his parents divorced. Growing up with his grandparents, he helped fix windmills and vaccinate cattle.

The moments in my life when things seemed the bleakest have also been when I found my greatest successes. As I look back at my life so far, there was something about coming close to quitting, to giving up, that motivated me to do more than I otherwise would.

Perseverance, it turns out, matter more than talent or intelligence when it comes to being successful. I wish to share with you that grit allowed me to escape from those difficult periods in my life when I was so exhausted, overwhelmed, depressed and confused. For me, grit is the secret to success.

Grit is the result of a hard-fought struggle, a willingness to take risks, a strong sense of determination, working relentlessly toward a goal, taking challenges in stride and having the perseverance to accomplish difficult things, even if I am wallowing in the most difficult circumstances.

Perhaps what I love most about grit is that you don't have to be born with it. It can be learned.

I cannot fathom how anyone, without firm convictions and deep inner beliefs, can be an effective leader. I don't remember many periods of self-doubts. When I did waver, it sometimes took another person to shake me out of my stupor.

Sometimes changes in an organization - especially when the new tomorrow is radically different from the golden yesterday - would overwhelm even the most experienced of leaders and team members.  It is unrealistic to think that all of them can ignore the exaggerated expectations, the suffocating demands of internal stakeholders, the chronic fatigue - all beyond our control.

Each of us, in our lives, has to find a way to build courage - the key word here being build.