You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want

I went to a wake yesterday. It was Good Friday. Later I read in the papers that Johan Cryuff, the revolutionary who changed how the world saw football, died.

We move through endless cycles of days and experiences with an understanding that ceratin thingts will occue. After will be followed by evening. Night will come and after it dawn and morning. Life will end in death.

Whether or not we can recall the names of the last few Olympic Gold, Academy Award or Nobel Prize winners - I'll bet you can remember the names of two favourite teachers, or friends who stood by you. We remember the ones who cared.

And we can become one of those people who are held in others' hearts and memories long after we have passed from this earth. Next to simple acts of kindness, all our personal achievements pale.

What we do for ourselves dies with us, but what we do for others echo throughout the ages.

No one is born with kindness. It is an acquired virtue. We learn to dance by dancing. We learn to play football by playing football. Kindness is acquired by practicing kindness.

Each day is filled with endless possibilities to make a difference. It is not that hard, for really, it is a world full of people desperately hungry for sincerity, goodness and honesty. Have you received an unexpected email or letter of thanks or compliment? It is a wonderful feeling to receive such an email. Yet for most people it is a rare joy. Write one. Write an email to an old friend whom you haven't written to in a while. It takes less than five minutes of your time to make someone's day.

As a child, my father used to tell me, "You get what you give." Life has taught me that, like so many things my father said to me, it is a wise and true statement.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger

People often tell me how lucky I am to have landed such a fun job. I'm sure luck played some sort of role, but for the past 27 years I have truly worked in overdrive. It has been challenging to get so far so fast, but it hasn't been the hard part.
 
The hard part has been - in both subtle and overt way - people ignoring the rules of friendly competition and working together. believe me, I have already been beyond the gates of hell. This has turned out to be one of the greatest ongoing lessons in my life...and it is a positive one. Things like an unreasonable customer, a disrespectful colleague and a micromanaging or bias boss give some people ulcers. Marital spats, financial troubles and a rogue staff give people high blood pressure. But I have to tell you. It has taught me in a very clear way that we can't allow people and events to ruin even a minute of our day, much less our lives
 
Those were not easy times in my life, but they certainly had value. I suppose it taught me a lesson of perseverance that I never forgot. And they have given my life perspective. The struggles, you see, made me strong.
 
I have often wondered if I would have become a success without these storms in my life. And it also makes me wonder how many other challenges in life will turn out to be blessings in disguise.
 
There's no "happy ending" to this obstacle story. It's a struggle I still deal with almost everyday. All I'm saying is, you don't have to look far to find discouragement, but if you believe in yourself, in your dreams and in your future, someone, somewhere, sometime will listen.

 

 

Leading high-achievers and other leaders

"We need to measure everything. If you can't measure it, you can't manage it, hence the need for all sorts of metrics," a General Manager insisted on this philosophy.

Mr General Manager, please reframe that belief. Of course, we need to measure many things in life and work. But, if we are leading leaders or high-achievers, we need to become more mindful of promoting driving but thriving - such as care, joy and gratitude - all not easily measured.

I am not a total megalomaniac. I recognize that many of the top talent in my team whom I am supposed to lead are smarter and more talented than me. Many of the them are themselves leaders.

Being a leader of other leaders is a privileged position.

I have since learned that we don't get the best out of these talented people by hitting them with an iron rod. That worked with the slaves in building the pyramids and great wall of China. With highly-skilled people whose influence are substantially above the average, we do so by gaining their respect and helping them understand that the impossible was possible.

When I was younger I was more inclined to be severe. I cringe when I think back to those days. Nowadays, I take a different approach. There is no benefit in engaging in public hangings. It humiliates the victim and does not do much to encourage those around him. While not always succeeding in the heat of the moment, I would try to reserve my severest comments for a private session with the individual.

I couldn't count the number of times where I helped my team members with personal matters, and I'm proud of the fact that they trusted me. In these situations I acted as a priest, father or MP - whatever it takes. Even to this day, some of my former team members still come to me for advice; this is a reflection of the trust that underpinned our relationship.

Unless you understand people, it's hard to motivate them. Everybody is different, and I came to learn that they all required different care and feeling.

I am not doing these things because I was trying to emulate Mother Teresa, I am doing them because I had gradually came to understand this back-door route to inspiring high-achievers

 

Fusing personal and work lives

"People want to live deeply satisfying lives both personally and professionally" Matt stated as a matter-of-factly.

In my experience, sales is a very challenging profession on multiple fronts. Therefore, having a good system to deal with the pressures of work while creating a fulfilling life is critical. Our brains and bodies have limitations and when we're inundated with too many requests or working continuously without a break, our mood sours and our performance slumps.

Year in year out, I hear leaders highlighting their commitment to "work-life balance" for the team. It sounded nice. It just never materialized.

Work-life balance. That term implies that work and life should be separate, when in reality, they are intertwined. With the explosion of email and smartphones, our personal lives have come under siege. The reality is that standout talents are working around the clock, even when they're not corresponding after hours. They're continuously plotting ahead and thinking up new ideas while showering, watching TV or drifting off to sleep.

As a leader, I have a responsibility to help my team members achieve satisfaction.

We live in a world in which it is acceptable for work to interrupt personal time. I am comfortable when personal time interrupts work - I trust my team members to manage their time responsibly, and can accept that they take time off during the day to look after affairs of their home. I find that helping associates fuse their personal and work lives create loyalty and commitment and put them in a position to deliver their best work.

Coping with extreme stress

There was plenty of angst and negative energy in the office this week.

Life and work has a tendency to throw us one curveball after another. Extreme stress can make people do funny things. It can cause forgetfulness and compulsive reactions.

At moments like these, it's imperative to remember that anything affecting you is also affecting your partner and the people who cares for you in your life. After all, it's not how many crises befall a relationship but how a couple cope with them that determines the outcome of the relationship.