Stress got you down?

Tinder was the highest-grossing mobile app in 2019. Consumers spent a total of US$2.2 billion on dating apps in 2019. This year so far, despite the epidemic hysteria effects of coronavirus, casual dating activities has reported to be on the rise on the basis of the psychology of start living before you start dying.


Volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity? Stress? Hell, yes.


Uncertainty is a fact of life. My world and your world are both full of it. Stress is a killer. It doesn't just lead to heart attacks. It leads to underperformance, indecision, and on-the-job misery. Life will surely seem unfair to you at times, but it will seem unfair to everybody at times. 


Think about how an upcoming holiday can change our state of minds. The condition is set for people to be happy, loving and peaceful. The rest of the year, most of us return to a fearful and negative state of mind. Why? Because what we see in the news and elsewhere highlights the negative. 


The same happens in an organizational environment. You worry about the competition. You worry about the boss. You worry about coworkers. You worry about the product. You worry about the market. Pretty soon, when you consider any idea, process or action, you do so with fear and negativity. 


When people don't know what's coming next, they tend to dwell on the dangers and hazards of what might come. How do you turn fear into courage? Any leader who deals with times like this understands that sometimes there simply is no right answer, at least not a perfect one. I can't give you a precise formula that works in every environment, but I've experienced a lot of touchy leadership situations. 

As you can imagine, being in a sales discipline subjects you to great amounts of stress and fear. Throughout my career, I've had the opportunity to work with great people and great leaders. As a leader, one of the most important tasks is simply to be there and to create a positive environment. Leaders present in times of stress are far more valued than those who stop by once in a while when things are going well.

Just being there, however, won't suffice. Let the team know you're there alongside them. I believe there are times in which leaders need to maintain their composure, despite the natural inclinations to express feelings of discouragement, fear or even despair. This is not to say they should shield others from reality or withhold basic information about the situation. Rather, it is to say that there are times in which the perceived attitude of the leader is a powerful force that can create energy and optimism or fear and pessimism. 

I don't need a PhD to figure this out: great leadership is critical in times of stress and fear.

Get results...without losing your soul

"A cup at Starbucks isn't really that expensive when you consider what Victoria Secret charges per cup." 
Victoria's Secret's Wexner, the longest-serving CEO of any Fortune 500 company, was reportedly in talks to step down from the company after more than 50 years at the helm and potentially sell the company. Once the largest lingerie retailer in the US, Times had once described it as the “internet-breaking moment” of this era after 1.5 million viewers tried to tune in to the annual fashion show when it aired for the first time online and crashed the site. Today, with its sales declining, Victoria’s Secret has been closing stores and its share prices have fallen more than 75% from their 2015 peak.
 
In the course of my work, I've seen many leaders who struggle to achieve prolonged business success, much less build meaningful professional relationships. If that's you, you're not alone. The truth is that all around the world, it's not hard to find stressed-out, frustrated (and often helpless) leaders.
 
We may not admit it, but all of us want power - the power to influence others, the power to get our phone calls returned, the power to get things done that are important to us.
 
How do you measure significance?
 
I believe a lot of people stick with business and work because there is a clear scorekeeping mechanism. You win or lose. You make the deal or someone else does. You get rich or go broke. Clear metrics.
 
Success is mostly about externals. Significance is defined more personally and internally. It is about what we want to do with our lives when success gives us freedom of action and choice.
 
Try not to become a person of success but rather try to become a person of value.
 
One thing I'd noticed that sets lasting successful leaders apart is their compassion. They genuinely know what it's like to do the work you do, face the pressures you do, and thrive amid them. They have genuine compassion for the frontline and middle-level managers that comes through in the encouragement, humour and tough love their share. They want you to succeed.
 
User leaders tend to treat people as objects - the people are there to achieve results and that is their only value. These leaders push hard for results and try to compel productivity through fear, power and control. They say things like, "Why should I say thank you? It's their job." Some other leaders spend their days playing dirty politics, working one person against another in their ceaseless quest for status.
 
You don't have to choose between results and relationships. Effective leaders focus on both. A clear and effective focus on results is the foundation for your influence and success as a leader. You cannot win without it. When you achieve results, those results don't become sustainable until you add the second external focus on relationships - connect, invest and collaborate.
 

The most effective leaders, however, don't stop there. They combine confidence and humility. It's not about results or relationships, confidence or humility. The answer is in the "and" - you need them all.
 
Good leadership is never about what you can do, it's about what you enable and encourage others to achieve.