How will you be remembered?

Inventor Richard Browning showcased his “Iron Man-inspired” homemade suit equipped with miniature jet engines by taking off and flew uninterrupted for around 10 minutes. "The whole journey was about trying and failing, and learning from that," Browning said.

Life is an experiment. 

 All too often, through our 20s, our choices were a mix of hope and guesswork. Jobs and relationships become a series of learning experiences as life doesn't work out as we might have hoped or planned. If only we had known then what we know now...

There is no best career. There are both satisfied and dissatisfied people in medicine, sales, law, teaching and every line of work. In my own search for career and calling, I traveled a winding path. After passing my O Levels,  I studied computer science because, in 1981, I was told that the future was in computing, but ended up now as a sales leader.

Martin Luther King Jr, has this to say: Whatever your life work is, do it well. Do it so well that no one else could do it better. If it falls on your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, like Shakespeare wrote poetry, like Beethoven composed music; sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, "Here lived a great street sweeper."

When you have a choice, choose the best. When you have no choice, do your best.

Time decides who we meet in life. Our heart decides who we want in our lives. And our behavior decides who stays in our lives.

We all slip into the "poor me" mode at times. I am not about to preach "positivity." The fact is, pain and difficulty are not fun - I speak from my own experiences.

Day by day, time seems to move slowly. If you're a parent, you know that one day your struggle to get your child to eat and then, before you can turn around, he's grown up and left home. As a leader, each day doesn't seem to make a huge difference, but before we know it, those days have added up to weeks, months, and even years or decades you've spent with people.

Sometimes, at the end of every day, I try to look back and wonder whether I made a difference, where I encourage someone, teach someone, invested in someone and see him/her stronger as a result. Are the people in my team better because of their time with me? That's a simple but powerful test of my leadership. Long after everything fades away, it is our influence, our relationships and how we impact the people around us - these things endure.

 

Why leadership presence?

United's stock shed 4% - more than $1billion loss in market value - over the course of the week as outrage flared over a passenger being forcibly dragged off a plane. It was a PR nightmare was complicated by the way the CEO responded which was like throwing gasoline on a fire.

According to Harvey Coleman...Image (what other people think of you. Your personal brand) is three times more important than performance to career success.

Many ambitious executive wannabes have a flawed assumption that they can propel  themselves to the top through hard work, self-sacrifice and a little emotional intelligence.

You work hard, try your best but don't seem to get the opportunities that you want and feel you deserve. Why is it so much easier for others?

If nobody's told you yet, it's not about how smart you are or how solid your achievements. The new realities are that you need leadership presence - the package of intangibles, like flexibility, passion, social poise, energy, communication skills and appearance.

That's the burden of leadership: everything we do and say is significant and has impact. My ex-boss used to tell me "perceptions are other people's realities"
We all want to be loved and accepted. In truth, nobody is loved by everybody. Even the greatest men and women in history have critics. We are no different. Some people are going to like us, dome are going to love us, some are not going to like us at all, and some may even despise us.

Now in older age, I find myself become less reactive, less overinvested in success. I know well how things don't always go my way and that there is a limit to what I can control. So when defining my values and personal brand, I remember that I am in for the long haul.

You can try to fool some people, some, of the time, and will. But if true to yourself and to others, your personal brand will be far more enduring, rewarding and marketable.

As Mark Twain advised, "Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

 

Trust affects us all

A statement from White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer cited, in their first meeting, President Donald Trump and Chinese President Xi Jinping  discussed an array of topics which included North Korea. For years, the United States and the international community have tried to negotiate an end to North Korea’s nuclear and missile development, but North Korea has repeatedly cheated on its commitments.

Trust can accelerate and mistrust can destroy any team, family, relationship. No matter who we are and what our role is, trust affects our influence and success. Influence is not the power to make people do things. Influence only comes through credibility - the extent to which people know you, believe you, trust you and respect you.

As a leader I never tell the team anything that I don't absolutely believe myself. I always tell them the truth.

Likewise, when building team, I embrace the principle set by John Wooden: "A player who makes a team great is more valuable than a great player." No matter how productive or competent a team member can be, if that person is not trustworthy - which means no hidden meanings, no dealing in the shadows, no backstabbing -  that person has no place on my team.  

Most people consider themselves to be honest people. Criminal psychologists speak about criminals who actually convince themselves that they didn't commit the crime. People deceive themselves at different times and in varying degrees. They do it sometimes out of convenience and sometimes out of cowardice.

In this hyper-competitive world, we all want to win, but we can win well. We can win without losing out souls.

 

Do unto others

Since 1998, Fortune has been publishing a list of America's Best Companies to Work For. Last month, Google maintained the top spot on that list for the 6th year running.

It is no big secret by now that employees at that company are extremely well fed, getting healthy and varied breakfast, lunch, and even dinner if they stay late — for free. They are treated to massages, have access to wellness centers and a whole range of leisure activities and get extended time off to follow their passions outside the workplace.

Maya Angelou: "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."

On a personal front, as I get older I increasingly enjoy helping others reach their goals. I enjoy being generative. I particularly enjoy demonstrating genuine concern for others' well-being, being friendly because I want to, not because I want something in return. True kindness feels special precisely because it's given as a gift, rather than a loan.

We can see and enjoy every sight around the world, experience every luxury pleasure. But when we look back on our lives and review our memories, I am sure, none of it will match the delight of bringing a smile to someone's face.

On the flip side of the coin, there are people who disappoint me at times - they don't follow through on commitments, or stick to their word, or are reliable. Like the saying goes: "The more I encounter these people, the more I love my dog."

It's times like that, that I hold on to the Law of the Garbage Truck which says: Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.

These annoyances are like ant bites...it shall not ruin my picnic.