Heavy choosing

This weekend I flew into KL for a day to visit my unc who's been inflicted by cancer.  Bad news is hard to share.

My unc has some heavy choosing to do, and I wish there were a button I could push to make it easier for him. How do you help elderly relatives make difficult decisions? I feel responsible for helping him see and understand al the options. The decision, however, is his to make. If asked I will volunteer my opinion. Otherwise I try hard to remove myself. In this case, it is important that my unc own both the decision and its consequences. The quality of his life, even his life itself, hangs in the balance.

Choosing quality of life is a very intimate and human experience. It is not black and white. It is not right or wrong. It cannot be counted or quantified. It is personal, private and protected from techniques and technologies. It is what makes us human. And sometimes it is hard and very painful.

Other cultures

We had 14 people on the conference call last night from all 5 continents. Knowing the difference between what is acceptable and unacceptable in a given culture is not only interesting, it is increasingly critical in our global economy where cultures interact everyday and in multiple ways. Whether we are travellers visiting different countries, a business person with international dealings or simply someone who deals with diverse people every day, it is well worth the time and effort to learn as much as we can about other cultures.

Criticism is a learning process

"You are the first boss I work for who chases me for things. Usually, I am the one doing the chasing," Minte pointed out in the taxi.

No one is immune to criticism. If you hold a position of responsibility, you will be subject to criticism.

There is no reason to be too disturbed by a certain amount of criticism. I am always willing to acknowledge criticism that is true

We all enjoy being praised. It is only natural to think we deserve praise for our efforts. But the disagreeable and critical things people say about us can also be of use. I make criticism a learning process. If I find that criticism of my methods or actions is justified, I act upon that criticism and change my methods and actions.

Team member and team captain

"I am calling you to let you know that I am available now and am in the market looking for a job," Sharon announced on the phone.

People, not products make the difference. They have to be absolutely dedicated to the idea of giving their best. In short, this is the kind of people I look for.

Ideally that person will have to be both a team member and a team captain. I want to hire people who are comfortable leading as well as following.

We can teach skills. We can even, to some degree, teach people to think. But we can't teach attitude.

Giving up vs giving in

Euro 2012 ended yesterday.

The glory of the Olympics will soon fill our living rooms, and we will watch in awe celebrating the triumph of the athletes.

Do we ever think about the thousands of hours spent on the track with few observers, often in indement weather, the injuries, defeats and the lack of normal social life , indeed the many sacrifices that must be made to participate in the world's greatest sporting event?

If this sounds like hard work, consider the alternative - the life of the uncommitted.

I understand the important distinction between giving up and giving in. You have been exhorted to never give up on what you want for life, but there could be many times on your journey when it is wise to give in.

The power of 2

"I used to cycle alone, but I am glad I have now found someone to cycle with," Francis said as we were stuck in that 2 hour traffic jam on our way to Insa-dong.

The "power of 2" works well for even personal objectives such as losing weight or athletic training.

Some of us enlist a friend to attend yoga class or commit to training for a marathon (an inherently lonely sport). We enjoy the companionship and support but knowing we're answerable to someone else, is also motivating.  That small obligation keeps us focused. At some point we reach a point of no return where we don't want to disappoint a friend or don't want to be the 1st to give up.

The lesson is clear: we don't just have to rely on self-help! Pairing up provides us with a discipline that we cannot summon as readily working solo.