Be Authentic. Not perfect.

"He cheats like hell!" Suzann Pettersen said of President Donald Trump. Suzann is a LPGA star who has won two majors and 15 tour events and has known Trump for more than a decade.

People will forgive anything except hypocrisy. Give up being perfect for being authentic. It's not our abilities that show what we truly are...it's our choices.

We're all going to make mistakes. It's unavoidable. We forgive this, because it happens to all of us. But we have a problem with people who turn out not to be who we thought they were.

I have been told earlier in my life that I was ruthless. That I didn't care about anyone or anything; but just did what I had to do to get the next job done. These days, I know what a mistake that was, and realized I wanted to be sensitive to the people I worked with and to their lives. It works. The results prove it.

When we have wronged someone or broken his or her trust, it is our responsibility to make it right. A sincere apology process should include acknowledging that really happened and that feelings are hurt. Be willing to apologize for your role in the matter first.


Doing, not saying, builds trust. Some people may say, "Trust me," but that doesn't mean people will.  If a salesperson whom you just met and hardly know says, "Just trust me," what is your first reaction? It is not trust! In fact, it is likely to be suspicion. Trust increases or decreases with every interaction.  It is earned by the actions that are taken.

 

Lead from the front or from the back?

Ever wondered what is the most popular class in Yale's 316-year history? How to be HAPPY.  Called Psychology and the Good Life, a whopping 25% of all its current undergraduates are enrolled in it.

Welcome to Happiness 101.

BI Worldwide's research shows that 91% of employees, whose managers understand them, are happy with their job and nine times more likely to perform their job with greater intensity. That when one is happy, one is better at connecting with others, seeing the big picture and generating creative ideas.

That in mind, I've come to appreciate that sometimes I need to lead like a general and sometimes I should lead like a shepherd. As a leader, we don't always want to go charging, full gallop, into every situation. This means we need to bring our team in with us. We empower them to lead, to do what needs to be done, and we support them in their efforts.

Now, there are absolutely going to be times when we need to be making decisions, dictating directions. Being able to discern when we need a soft touch versus when a heavy hand will be more effective is key to great leadership. Understanding that sometimes a leader has to be able to accept any outcome, and to regroup, reconsider and recover.

As leaders, we are fortunate to have the opportunity to guide people toward a common goal. Because we spend so much of our time, energy and talent at work, I try to foster an environment where people get excited and enthusiastic about what they are doing, to discover and exercise their talents.

If you have the right team around you and you deploy the right strategy - you put yourself in a much better position to win. After all, true leadership is not so much about what is in your head as about what is in your heart and how you use that to inspire others to greatness.

 

 

Simplicity has power

One in 10 Europeans are conceived on an Ikea bed. This was reported in a New York Times article although I don't think it meant within the actual store.

Less is More. Simplicity therapy. These are words synonymous with IKEA.

As I look around in my travels, I see an awful lo of people just surviving, just hanging on or just getting by. Too many people place importance on unimportant things. These folks get stuck on small things and then find it hard to move beyond them - small mistakes, small insults and small-minded people. Many of us complicate our lives by expending more time, energy and effort than necessary - getting involved in other people's business, playing God, committing to tasks, making promises, creating more busywork.

Consider this: what you do today must be important, because you are exchanging a day in your life for it.

In the greater scheme of things, we can identify the major things by asking "Is this situation going to make a difference a year from now?", "in 5 years, will you remember it at all?"

I can think of so many things in my life that I thought were major when they happened. Now I can't believe I was so hung up on them at that time. These incidents don't matter anymore, and they haven't changed my life or affected my livelihood.

Simplifying doesn't necessarily mean avoiding essential responsibilities or duties; rather it means eliminating unnecessary complexity - taking life in smaller bites, setting priorities, finding your focus.

If we want to dig a well to reach water, we are better off digging one 100-meter deep hole, than digging 10 holes each 10 meters deep. It is a difficult truth, but a liberating one. All truth is, I suppose.