Thinking backward to go forward

2018 rewind:

• BTS became the first K-Pop band to top Billboard’s album charts then repeated the feat, achieving an unprecedented level of success in the U.S.
• Microsoft surpassed Apple Inc. for the first time in eight years as the world’s most valuable company by market capitalization. 
• Reliance Industries Chairman, Mukesh Ambani overtook Jack Ma as Asia’s richest man. 
• Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour grossed $266 million in the U.S -  a record for a female artist.
• Stacey Cunningham became the first female president of the 226-year-old New York Stock Exchange.
• Mahathir’s stunning defeat of Najib Razak to become the world’s oldest prime minister and led to Malaysia’s first democratic change of regime. 

Backward thinking is an essential part of designing a better future. 

An experience is not complete until it is remembered. We can't just ignore it or wish it away. Whatever we have experienced over the last 12 months - or even further back - must be addressed. If we try to ignore it, it's just going to come back to bite us.

Sometimes we live inside unhelpful stories we tell ourselves. Other  times we nurse grievances to justify our current actions or fell undervalued because we were slighted or disregarded in some way. If we don't get resolution, we'll drag all our unfinished business into the future and it will sabotage everything we're trying to build going forward.

Many of us have endured real shocks, even catastrophes. Maybe you had conflicts in relationships. Maybe you lost a loved one. Maybe you experienced an accident, an illness, or a loss of job. It's like there are a thousand little windows open on your computer at the same time, and you are able to - click - close all the windows. It is very freeing. 

Completing the past is not just about processing failures and disappointments. It's also about acknowledging and celebrating our wins. We often downplay this or never think to do it. But it's key as it gives us confidence for the future. 

It could be running a half marathon this last year. Or maybe you celebrated a milestone in your job or relationship. Maybe you completed a degree. Maybe your beat your sales targets by a significant percentage. Whatever it is, it's important to acknowledge what we accomplished this past year and take time to congratulation ourselves.

For me this past year was about being wildly productive at work while still getting the rest and rejuvenation that makes that kind of productivity possible in the first place. That's just me. 

What about you? What were the major life lessons you learned this past year? Unless we learn from our experiences, we can't grow. Progress depends on retentiveness.

Here's one I learned this year: "There comes a point in every experience when I'm too far in to quit but almost certain I can't finish. If I keep moving forward, I'll eventually get to the other side." 

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, an hour, a day or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

Live a life true to yourself

Google and Amazon announced expansions in New York. Google intends to expand its New York presence to 20,000 workers. Amazon announced it plans to locate its new HQ2 in Queens, NY. Amazon’s decision follows more than a year of lobbying by communities around the US and Canada. A city in Georgia even offered to change its name to Amazon in its bid to be the location of the company's new corporate headquarters.

Of all the lessons of the dying as shared by Bronnie Ware, the regret of not having lived a life true to themselves was the most common one of all.

We want to be independent but we also want to be liked and loved. Our desire to please those around us can sometimes be a way to lose ourselves.

Who is it that we never stop trying to please? For most people, it is their parents or a parent. For others, it can be a mentor or boss. And for still others, it could be a colleague or partner. 

In my case, it is my parents. As I look back, I see I have always wanted to impress my mother and father. Most of all, I wanted them to be proud of me. Fortunately, they never placed any pressure or expectations on me in the area of professional path. 

Experience has taught me I am not alone in all of this. It's amazing how much sway our mother wanting us to be a lawyer or doctor can have over the rest of our lives. I tell you this to illustrate the strong emotional ties we carry with us throughout our lives and the enormous burden other people's expectations can be.

Could I fulfil my career potential and have a fulfilling family life? Could I be a great parent and still attend to my own needs?

We can go too far in either direction, and as most things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Some people are completely absorbed in a world of self. Others get so caught us in pleasing others they lose sight of who they are.

To that end it is important to disengage from as many distractions as possible so you can rest, read, reflect and recover. There will be times when you need to get away with your partner, and occasionally you will need to bounce some of your thinking off a trusted friend. But at some points, you need some time by yourself with few distractions.

Protect yourself

Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody has officially become the highest-grossing music biopic of all time. Queen‘s song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ became the most-streamed track from the

twentieth century. 

 

In real life, Freddie Mercury had very strange teeth - four extra teeth had forced his front teeth forward. He was said to be self-conscious and embarrassed about them.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

It is said: "You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you."

Energy vampires take our energy and exhaust us. Some or overbearing or loud; others are charming or soft-spoken. They can be neighbors, coworkers, telemarketers or big shots barking orders to a waiter in a small café. Spouses, children and in-laws may drain us too, even if they don't intend to.

There's the type that whenever you talk to her, she's whining. She casts herself as a victim. The world's always against her, to blame for her unhappiness. When you present a solution, she says, "Yes...but." You might find yourself hearing the same complaints over and over.

There are the ones who has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty for not getting things just right. He uses accusations to drain, leaving no room for discussion. You walk away feeling knifed. as if you'd fallen to the bottom of a well.

Then there are those who have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention and crave admiration. Some narcissists are unlikeable egoists.  Others can be charming, intelligent, caring - only when you are stroking their ego.

All my life, I've had a an energetic personality. I'm happy about that. Even so, a vampire's effects can stun like a sonic blast or make you slowly wilt. I myself am most susceptible to emotional vampires when I feel desperate, tired or disempowered. But when we get angry and hateful, we are giving them power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness.

In truth, it's our choice.

We can simply feel tortured, resentful, impotent. I choose to view these as opportunities to not be a sucker for negativity and try to bring empathy into every relationship.

Namaste.

Slow down

Miss Spain Angela Ponce is the favourite to win Miss Universe 2018 which is set to be held in Bangkok, Thailand, on December 17. The 27 year old model will be the first ever transgender woman to compete in Miss Universe.

MYTH: Youth rules and old age stinks. We must maintain our youthfulness at all costs. 

I am 54 today and I can tell you it represents an awesome time in my life. I've paid my dues for wisdom and learned how to be comfortable in my own skin. I can create a higher quality of life - and pursue a fun companionship that have eluded me in my younger years. Living life fully built  on the many tough lessons I have learned and is symbolized by my wrinkles and grey hair. I worked hard to earn these distinguished characteristics and so I wear them like medals of honour.

The truth is, most of us dread getting older. We would trade almost anything to be thirty or forty again. Why do many fear middle and old age, rather than embrace this wonderful stage of life?

The lessons of maturity involve an ability to accept the imperfect, put a higher priority on companionship and live in the moment. Understanding and accepting that I am in the last third of my life makes every day more precious. I now have different values, and quality of life becomes more crucial. The need to slow down, relax and enjoy recreation and relationships takes on special significance. My aging body brought about this realization.

The part of aging that involves pain, deteriorating bodies and facing our mortality isn't easy to work through. I would never say that all of the changes should be celebrated.

In our busy world, our lives have a habit of gathering momentum of their own, plunging forward, with or without our consent. I am learning to slow down and access life. We cannot control the pace of innovation and work, but we can help our bodies to weather the storms of change.

The world is full of men and women who work too much, sleep too little, hardly every exercise, eat poorly and are always struggling or failing to find adequate time to spend with their loved ones. We are in a perpetual hurry - constantly rushing from one activity to another, with little understanding of where all this activity is leading us.

Slow down. Breathe deeply. Reflect deeply. Pray deeply. Live deeply. 

Listen to my advice, not because I am always right but because I have more experience being wrong.

When you've made the wrong decision

At a Victoria's Secret Pink store, Black Friday shopping became a contact sport, reports ABC. The hot item: Sherpa fleece hoodies, marked down from $90 to $35.

Rational decision-making abilities are at their weakest on Black Friday as retailers tend to play on two factors that influence customer choices — pride and regret. Research on decision-making has shown that fear of future regret influences our decision making.

All of us make decisions, particularly important ones, with incomplete information. And when there is time pressure, there is more urgency. All decisions are made in the moment, for the moment.

The truth is we can't know the outcomes of our decisions until after we commit. This is not a new issue but, too often, people seem to find themselves frozen on the trigger, unable to commit and choose. Decidophobia, the fear of making decisions, is a common disease.

What do you do when the facts of a decision tell you that you took the wrong road? When you have gotten, with the best of intentions, into a relationship, a new job, that turns out to be a bad deal, a fiasco?

Most of the time, we stubbornly try to ride out the storm. We pray that the tide will turn, we give it second chances, third chances, and even fourth chances. We tough it out for a while, sometimes a long while, because none of us likes to admit defeat. Yet the longer we fail to do what we know if right, the bigger the potential defeat.

Oxford don C.S. Lewis shared a piece of wisdom: "Don't keep pressing forward trying to prove you were right (a particularly male disease)." You promptly (and painfully) turn back and embark on the right road. That's just what I did. I have made some wrong hiring decisions. It was a painful blow to my overheated ego.

Even with all the data and research intel, there is no such thing as a "sure deal."

If you know you have made the wrong decision, don't persist forever in a state of denial. Fact the brutal facts. And if the facts prove that you're still on the wrong track, bite the bullet, pay the price, get out.

When the horse is dead, dismount.

 

Vulnerability can be a superpower

From Iron Man to Spider-Man to the Incredible Hulk to the X-Men, Marvel legend Stan Lee captured our imagination and our attention. The father of these superheroes died at age 95.

"Another definition of a hero is someone who is concerned about other people’s well-being, and will go out of his or her way to help them – even if there is no chance of a reward. That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero," Stan the Man once said. 

These days, too many people are determined to get to the top and willing to get that power any way they can.  Undercutting, sidestepping, overstepping, taking people out at the knees, or just going over someone's head - whatever it takes. Too many people, when they get the power they're after, they realize they don't have what it takes to make it effective: respect. 

If a leader has power but no love, compassion, empathy or care for others, then that leader has an empty sort of power. A powerless power. 

I'll say this simply: when it comes to leading, the power of influence always trumps the power of coercion. You pull people in your direction, rather than push them. They follow you because they are drawn to your authenticity and your actions.

I am interested in my team members' lives. (I also know that most people are even more keenly interested in their own lives). Sadly, few leaders ask their team members about their family, their interests, their passions or what they want. 

I am a ladder builder, not a ladder climber. I am always saying, "What can I do to help you? How would I make you successful?" If you make your team successful, your team's going to make you successful. 

I am not afraid to be vulnerable. The bottom line is, I admit that I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to screw up. My people are able to see me for who I truly am, which give them the confidence to express themselves to me. They will tell me when I am nakedly wrong and I have no clothes on. And I need that, because ultimately, success is not about me in the first place. Success is about others, and it's about the mission and the organization. 

Nobody's perfect. When we attempt to present a perfect version of ourselves, we become unapproachable. As a result, false perfection can often turn people off.

Of course, I am in no way saying I do things perfectly, or that I always get things right with my team. Sometimes I blow it completely. But when you get real with people, when you show vulnerability, you connect with them, and you move them to a human level. That gives you real power. 

And with great power there must also come....great responsibility! – Spider-Man

Endure the pain. Enjoy the gain

Mickey Mouse turns 90. Mickey made his official debut in 1928 in “Steamboat Willie,” Hollywood’s first cartoon with synchronized sound. Today, Disney has five of the top 10 grossing global hit movies of all time, selling a cumulative $8.4 billion worth of movie tickets. But behind all of that was one ambitious small-town farm boy who failed as often as he succeeded, and finally found worldwide fame – thanks to a cartoon mouse.

Behind every "overnight success" are years of focused effort, struggle, challenge and rejection. 

I took part in my first dragon boat race last week. I can tell you this with utmost certainty: Enthusiasm is common, endurance is rare. 

I started incredibly strong. I tend to come out of the gates full of force and not strategize my pacing. Halfway through the event, I hit a physical wall. I grimaced in pure exhaustion and wanted to stop. But I kept moving, focusing on the present and embracing the current step. 

In your life and work, you too will experience these moments. I've personally experience them, and I know you can relate.

But endurance is what separates the master from the masses and the amateur from the professional. It separates those who stay focus and persistent on a long enough timeline to watch all their dreams come true.

Endurance is not sexy, it's not flashy. It includes countless moments of doubt and wanting to stop. However, if you last long enough, you'll come out the other side recognizing how this piece of the puzzle puts it all together on your way to the top of the mountain.

The trick is....never compare your start or middle to someone else's ending, or you're never endure. Remember: your mountain is yours.

It's usually the small, undramatic, sustained efforts over time that make the most difference. Even if you're exhausted and on the verge of giving up - take the step.

Focus on taking today's step, understanding that you're building a rock-solid foundation. Understand that at every moment you're crafting your unique story and journey. One day, if you endure long enough, others will call you can overnight success.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Who will be the face of the new £50 note? To celebrate the UK's achievement in science, the Bank of England has invited the public to nominate a scientist as the face of the new plastic £50 note. The scientist must be British and dead, as the Queen is the only living person featured on a Bank of England note. Prof Stephen Hawking has to be one of the frontrunners.

The brilliant physicist who suffered from ALS since he 21 once said: “When I turned 21, my expectations were reduced to zero. You probably know this already because there’s been a movie about it. It was important that I came to appreciate what I did have. Although I was unfortunate to get motor neurone disease, I’ve been very fortunate in almost everything else. I’ve been lucky to work in theoretical physics at a fascinating time, and it's one of the few areas in which my disability is not a serious handicap. It’s also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can lose all hope if you can’t laugh at yourself and at life in general.”

We all experience pain and sorrow in life. A job loss, an illness in the family, or a death of a loved one is sometimes inevitable. During this time, to tell a depressed person to "pull yourself together" is like telling a snail to go faster. 

Good things always happen to everyone else.

Bad things always happen to me

My life just gets worse all the time

No one else has to deal with this stuff.

Can you see yourself in some of the examples above? Some people use self-pity as a way to gain attention. Playing the "poor me" card may result in some kind and gentle words from others - at least initially.

When I notice that I'm starting to feel sorry for myself, I shift my focus. I don't allow myself to continue thinking that life isn't fair or that life should be different. Instead, I list the people, circumstances and experiences in life that I can be thankful for.

You don't have to be rich, wildly successful or have the perfect life to feel grateful. A person who earns $2,500 per month may think he doesn't have much money. But if you're reading this, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.

Reframing the way you look at the situation isn't always easy, especially when you're feeling like the host of your own pity party.

When feeling sorry for yourself is about thinking "I deserve better," gratitude is about thinking "I have more than I deserve." This doesn't mean you should turn something negative into an unrealistically positive affirmation. Instead, strive to find a realistic way to look at your situation.

Face fear

Getting a three-star Michelin rating is the equivalent of winning a gold medal in the Olympics. Gordon Ramsey famously described that having stars taken away is like "losing a girlfriend." But not everyone wants a star. Singapore chef, Andre Chiang, the only Chinese chef in World 50 best list, the owners of the Checkers restaurant in Wales and British chef Marco Pierre White, who became famous for being the youngest chef to earn all three Michelin stars in 1994, have all said no to Michelin recently. "I don't need Michelin, and they don't need me. They sell tires, I sell food," White said. 

Everything in life requires courage.

The most dominant emotion today is fear. We are afraid. Afraid of losing the things we have worked hard to buy, afraid of rejection and failure, afraid of certain types of people, afraid of criticism, afraid of suffering and heartaches, afraid of change, afraid to tell people how we really feel....we are afraid of so many things.

There are people who try to gain power by instilling fear in others. Sad to say, it's a ploy that predictably works.

How can you make good choices about anything if you're afraid of the results or the possible consequences you're going to face?

Life has taught me that I've never made a good decision based on fear. I regret once staying in a job too long for fear of hurting my friend and boss. Eventually I left the job and lost the friendship.

Those negative inner voices can be relentless. How many times have you thought about doing something only to convince yourself that you couldn't do it?

You know, even today, I have to deal with those voices occasionally. And although they never are silenced completely, I have learned to tune them out. 

Loss can give you an advantage

Rated as one of the most terrifying horror books ever written, The Haunting of Hill House is now a new Netflix Original Series as part of their lineup of pre-Halloween horror movies. The scary and unexpectedly moving 10-episode series tell a family drama that's concerned with the lasting impact of grief, loss and tragedy. 

As strange as it may sound, loss does create leaders based on the strength born of struggle.

At the end of the day, we're dealt the cards we're dealt to make us stronger. The cards I've been dealt in my twenties - my money problems and the loss of my fiancée and the loss of my job - have not made me stronger but also made me the leader I am today. Not only that, my losses give me a competitive advantage.

I remember asking God, "What's my purpose here?" And sometimes you have to be careful asking questions like that, because God may actually answer you.

I'm sure I would have been obnoxious, self-absorbed but very lonely. Loss has saved me.

That's how loss creates leaders. Loss fires your spirit and it steels your mettle. You have experienced your own personal pain: the loss of a job, a personal betrayal, a major disappointment. And out of that pain, you gain not only strength and a competitive advantage but also something more essential: learning. Learning is the source of your advantage.

There's a hard lesson in life's setbacks: leaders are forged through loss. It's a scientific fact: you cannot have a rainbow without a storm.

Coomunicate simply

"I got two phone calls this morning, and I didn't answer either one because I thought it was some spam call," so said Paul Romer, one of two winners of this year's Nobel Prize in economics. The Nobel Prize in Literature 1953 was awarded to Sir Winston Churchill - celebrated orator and world leader who was fond of alcoholic refreshments and Scotch whisky was a feature of his daily drinking regime. 

He once had this to say about whisky:

"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yes, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being."

However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care of our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it."

“This is my position and, as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle.”

I am a sales leader. I make my living using words. I know that words matter.

Words need not be weapons. More people have been injured by the tongue than any other weapon in human history.

Today, with the internet and rise of social media, so much of what we put out into the world lives on forever and can be seen and heard by the masses.

Our resume, clothes, accessories and haircut can make us look like a polished, successful executive. But when we open our mouths, we reveal a host of cues about our brainpower, people skills, poise and energy level and passion - all factors that contribute to leadership presence.

Most recruiters say what you say is the single most important factor in judging your worthiness for a position. Maybe you're one of the fortunate few who have been told you have superb communication skills.

But if you're like most leaders, or leaders  wannabe: Communicate with clarity by using simple English. Make your messages clear and to the point, devoid of complexity and jargon. If you find yourself using complex language and unnecessary details for the purpose of masking your perceived insecurities, stop yourself short...and when you stop doing it, you may be surprised at how much better the response will be.

So much good can come from language when it's used properly. The greatest literature, the greatest songs, the greatest speeches: they all have the power to uplift, motivate, heal, encourage and entertain. There is a sacredness to language that is eroded when we express ourselves with words meant to take revenge on people, or hurt people or hate on people.

If we're mindful of what, when and why we say the things we do, then our words become a blessing to whoever is listening.

Leadership is about empathy

How happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on how long we live. A long-term Harvard Study concluded that those who kept warm relationships got to live longer and happier. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline.

The key to healthy aging is relationships. Empathy should be an essential part of our daily lives, both in the workplace and in all of our relationships.

Empathy is a squishy word. Sometimes it's misinterpreted as "being nice." That isn't empathy. Empathy is about understanding. 

The words business and empathy are rarely used together. However, applying empathy will help in connecting and collaborating with your team more effectively - understanding the skills and styles of each person and how to get the most out of your interactions.

That is easier said than done. Honing your ability to view a situation from a perspective other than your own is one of the first things you must do to gain a stronger sense of empathy. The challenge comes in dropping your biases and points of view, which will free you to truly "see" from someone else's vantage.

I've discovered that using empathy in my work often makes it harder, not easier. You have to listen, and you might not like what you hear. Real empathy, deep understanding and connection, is tough to create and even tougher to maintain day after day.

Curiosity feeds empathy. I am trying to be a question asker. To seek out information at every opportunity in order to know someone or something more deeply. I am conscious to be open-minded and resist the tendency to pigeonhole the people with whom I am collaborating. Everyone is on his or her own journey.

Applying empathy isn't always easy. It can be downright exhausting. But, I have seen successful leaders go to great lengths to maintain empathy for their teams and their clients - using it to leads with deeper understanding or tackle challenges with more meaningful perspectives. 

Given that "encouragement", empathy is one instinct I am working on to grow and improve. Growth isn't always comfortable, but it's always expansive. 

Your expert niche

Alibaba active consumers on its various websites hit 552 million,  and active mobile MAU's (monthly active users) reached 617 million. That is an astounding number when one considers the population in the USA. Almost 2x. The world’s largest e-commerce platform operator aims to become the fifth-largest “economy” in the world by 2036.

Each of us has ideas that can shape the world, in large ways or small.

Yet too many of us shrink back when it comes to sharing our ideas. We assume leading experts must have some unique talents. We assume that our own ideas may not measure up. We assume that working hard and keeping our heads down will be enough to move our careers forward. 

Most recognised experts achieved success not because of some special genius, but because they learned how to put disparate elements together and present ideas in a new and meaningful way.

Building a strong professional reputation is the best way to protect, and advance our careers. To succeed I today's world, we don't have to be a worldwide superstar. The competition is fierce and we do have to be deliberate about identifying the place where we want to make a contribution and start to share our ideas. 

But what if you're not sure where to start? A good first step is to follow your passions and see where they lead.

I aim to develop thought leadership. It's about solving real problems and making a difference. I am willing to be brave, open up and share myself. I am willing to risk having my ideas shot down, because I genuinely believe I can help others.

Almost anyone can be an expert at something. You don't have to be the #1 expert in your field; context matters. It's not necessary to be Shakespeare to be know around the office as a good writer, and you don't need to be Arnold Schwarzenegger to advice on fitness.

Stop comparing

The AI Arms Race between the US and China is heating up. Ex- Google CEO Eric Schmidt said it won’t be long before China overtakes the US in the development of advanced artificial intelligence. A potato thief in Jianxing was caught when authorities used AI-powered facial-recognition technology to identify him from a crowd of more than 20,000 people attending a performance by Hong Kong crooner Jacky Cheung. The country that eventually leads in AI will have an advantage in nearly every industry. Second place might as well be last place.

Are you addicted to comparing yourself with others? Perhaps a coworker who gets more recognition and attention? A friend who's got more benefits and entitlements while you're working triple overtime? Though you may want to be happy for others, sometimes you just can't.

If you're single, you might envy apparently contentedly married friends in a way that leaves you painfully diminished. Though you wish them all the happiness in the world, you might secretly hope their relationship fails. It's difficult to admit - to ourselves or others - that we don't want the best for others, because their attributes, assets or accomplishments make us feel small.

Envy has been an important teacher for me. I've never felt envious of most people, but in my younger years I'd turn acidic when a peer, "deserving" or not, got a promotion. I felt "less than," overlooked, invisible.

I've made strides in overcoming it. Now I feel triumphant whenever I'm pleased for another's accolades without feeling slighted. As my self-esteem has grown, my envy has faded. The gateway is about discovering my self-worth, not raising it. The problem is not my actual worth, but my perceived worth.

The fact is, you are not inferior. No one is better than you, despite their moments of glory.

Comparing is a natural tendency we all have - we are a society of comparison junkies. It's productive if you're inspired to emulate another's impressive traits. Interestingly, it's more common to feel inferior to those with "more" than to feel grateful compared to those with "less."

Only when we stop blaming our boss or parents or partners or children or circumstances or fate can we change our lives and say "I chose where I am now, and I can choose something better." As an old proverb says, "Take it as a blessing or take it as a test; whatever happens, happens for the best."

Yoko Ono says, "transform jealousy to admiration, and what you admire will become part of your life" - an inspiring credo to live by.

 

The power of progress

Coca-Cola vs Starbucks. Coca-Cola announced recently that it would buy British coffee-shop chain Costa Coffee for $5.1 billion - a move which is likely to have a major impact on Starbucks. The first Starbucks store opened in 1971 in Seattle and over the course of 1990s and 2000s grew into a massive organization. Coca-Cola was first sold at a soda fountain in Atlanta in 1886. sales for that first year added up to a grand total of $50. Today Coca-Cola is the largest beverage manufacturer and distributor in the world. 

It's an important question to ask ourselves: "Am I making progress?"

The reason I point this out is because progress animates us. It brings us to life. When we sense that we are making progress, we tend to be filled with passion, energy, enthusiasm, purpose and a real and sustainable joy. 

Are you making progress? Are you a better person today than you were a year ago? Are you happier? Are you a better partner? parent? child? leader? colleague? friend? Are you healthier? Are you more financially independent than you were a year ago? Is your work becoming more and more satisfying? 

Progress is moving towards a goal.  For every person the answer to what we wish to progress toward would be different.

Baby steps are the secret  Small victories lead to large victories. 

I take time at the end of each day, even at intervals throughout the day, to reflect on the progress I have made. I consider the different areas of my life. In some, I have made progress; I celebrate that progress. 

In other areas, I have stagnated or regressed; I don't beat myself up about it. If I fail in some way, I consciously take time to identify what I have learned from the experience. I have learned to see even my defeats are part of the process, as progress. I am a work in progress. 

Sometimes there comes a point on our journey when we become so locked up in the daily humdrum when we inevitably question the journey at all. Are we going in the right direction? How long until we get there? How much more of this can we take? Maybe it's event time to turn back.

Anyone who's ever gone to the gym knows that the results aren't immediate. You don't spend thirty minutes on the treadmill and look like a new person. But that doesn't mean what you're doing isn't working. With each exercise, each step, each movement, each action, you get a little better, a little closer. You're making progress. 

Until one day you look in the mirror and think, "Wow!"

It's the same thing with your work or your health or your career or your relationships. Even when you don't see anything happening, it is. Even when you're not hitting the mark , you're making progress. 

Until one day you look at your bank balance or your new job and think, "Wow!" 

Change your expectations

At least 1,000 children were victims of priestly sexual abuse some over the past 70 years, according to a recent grand jury report in Pennsylvania. The Catholic Church’s credibility has been devastated by years of revelations that priests raped and molested children and their superiors covered up for them. Pope Francis issued a letter to Catholics around the world condemning the crime of priestly sexual abuse and its cover-up. 

Reality is not what we think. Things are not always as they seem. What's really happening is not always obvious on the surface. Even salt looks like sugar. 

We live in a world where many things and many people are fixated on the superficial.

Positive expectations don't always breed positive experiences. Those with idealistic expectations are often disappointed when reality doesn't meet them.

If a group of people go on a camping trip, some will form expectations of crackling campfires and starry night skies. Others will imagine snakes, bugs, pit toilets and dirt. Their expectations may influence their behaviour. 

The influence of expectations on behaviour can work for or against us. The key is to become aware of the power of expectations. 

If you feel dissatisfied with your life and want to improve it, change your expectations.

Have you gone to a film or party or vacation expecting it to be absolutely fantastic? Did your experience meet your expectations? Do you think your experience would have been different if you had different expectations, or none at all? 

Hardship is part of life - but whether we view it as tragic or heroic, depends on our perspective. Our minds can make meaning or madness, light a candle or curse the darkness - the choice is ours.