Face fear

Getting a three-star Michelin rating is the equivalent of winning a gold medal in the Olympics. Gordon Ramsey famously described that having stars taken away is like "losing a girlfriend." But not everyone wants a star. Singapore chef, Andre Chiang, the only Chinese chef in World 50 best list, the owners of the Checkers restaurant in Wales and British chef Marco Pierre White, who became famous for being the youngest chef to earn all three Michelin stars in 1994, have all said no to Michelin recently. "I don't need Michelin, and they don't need me. They sell tires, I sell food," White said. 

Everything in life requires courage.

The most dominant emotion today is fear. We are afraid. Afraid of losing the things we have worked hard to buy, afraid of rejection and failure, afraid of certain types of people, afraid of criticism, afraid of suffering and heartaches, afraid of change, afraid to tell people how we really feel....we are afraid of so many things.

There are people who try to gain power by instilling fear in others. Sad to say, it's a ploy that predictably works.

How can you make good choices about anything if you're afraid of the results or the possible consequences you're going to face?

Life has taught me that I've never made a good decision based on fear. I regret once staying in a job too long for fear of hurting my friend and boss. Eventually I left the job and lost the friendship.

Those negative inner voices can be relentless. How many times have you thought about doing something only to convince yourself that you couldn't do it?

You know, even today, I have to deal with those voices occasionally. And although they never are silenced completely, I have learned to tune them out. 

Loss can give you an advantage

Rated as one of the most terrifying horror books ever written, The Haunting of Hill House is now a new Netflix Original Series as part of their lineup of pre-Halloween horror movies. The scary and unexpectedly moving 10-episode series tell a family drama that's concerned with the lasting impact of grief, loss and tragedy. 

As strange as it may sound, loss does create leaders based on the strength born of struggle.

At the end of the day, we're dealt the cards we're dealt to make us stronger. The cards I've been dealt in my twenties - my money problems and the loss of my fiancée and the loss of my job - have not made me stronger but also made me the leader I am today. Not only that, my losses give me a competitive advantage.

I remember asking God, "What's my purpose here?" And sometimes you have to be careful asking questions like that, because God may actually answer you.

I'm sure I would have been obnoxious, self-absorbed but very lonely. Loss has saved me.

That's how loss creates leaders. Loss fires your spirit and it steels your mettle. You have experienced your own personal pain: the loss of a job, a personal betrayal, a major disappointment. And out of that pain, you gain not only strength and a competitive advantage but also something more essential: learning. Learning is the source of your advantage.

There's a hard lesson in life's setbacks: leaders are forged through loss. It's a scientific fact: you cannot have a rainbow without a storm.

Coomunicate simply

"I got two phone calls this morning, and I didn't answer either one because I thought it was some spam call," so said Paul Romer, one of two winners of this year's Nobel Prize in economics. The Nobel Prize in Literature 1953 was awarded to Sir Winston Churchill - celebrated orator and world leader who was fond of alcoholic refreshments and Scotch whisky was a feature of his daily drinking regime. 

He once had this to say about whisky:

"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yes, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being."

However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care of our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it."

“This is my position and, as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle.”

I am a sales leader. I make my living using words. I know that words matter.

Words need not be weapons. More people have been injured by the tongue than any other weapon in human history.

Today, with the internet and rise of social media, so much of what we put out into the world lives on forever and can be seen and heard by the masses.

Our resume, clothes, accessories and haircut can make us look like a polished, successful executive. But when we open our mouths, we reveal a host of cues about our brainpower, people skills, poise and energy level and passion - all factors that contribute to leadership presence.

Most recruiters say what you say is the single most important factor in judging your worthiness for a position. Maybe you're one of the fortunate few who have been told you have superb communication skills.

But if you're like most leaders, or leaders  wannabe: Communicate with clarity by using simple English. Make your messages clear and to the point, devoid of complexity and jargon. If you find yourself using complex language and unnecessary details for the purpose of masking your perceived insecurities, stop yourself short...and when you stop doing it, you may be surprised at how much better the response will be.

So much good can come from language when it's used properly. The greatest literature, the greatest songs, the greatest speeches: they all have the power to uplift, motivate, heal, encourage and entertain. There is a sacredness to language that is eroded when we express ourselves with words meant to take revenge on people, or hurt people or hate on people.

If we're mindful of what, when and why we say the things we do, then our words become a blessing to whoever is listening.

Leadership is about empathy

How happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on how long we live. A long-term Harvard Study concluded that those who kept warm relationships got to live longer and happier. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline.

The key to healthy aging is relationships. Empathy should be an essential part of our daily lives, both in the workplace and in all of our relationships.

Empathy is a squishy word. Sometimes it's misinterpreted as "being nice." That isn't empathy. Empathy is about understanding. 

The words business and empathy are rarely used together. However, applying empathy will help in connecting and collaborating with your team more effectively - understanding the skills and styles of each person and how to get the most out of your interactions.

That is easier said than done. Honing your ability to view a situation from a perspective other than your own is one of the first things you must do to gain a stronger sense of empathy. The challenge comes in dropping your biases and points of view, which will free you to truly "see" from someone else's vantage.

I've discovered that using empathy in my work often makes it harder, not easier. You have to listen, and you might not like what you hear. Real empathy, deep understanding and connection, is tough to create and even tougher to maintain day after day.

Curiosity feeds empathy. I am trying to be a question asker. To seek out information at every opportunity in order to know someone or something more deeply. I am conscious to be open-minded and resist the tendency to pigeonhole the people with whom I am collaborating. Everyone is on his or her own journey.

Applying empathy isn't always easy. It can be downright exhausting. But, I have seen successful leaders go to great lengths to maintain empathy for their teams and their clients - using it to leads with deeper understanding or tackle challenges with more meaningful perspectives. 

Given that "encouragement", empathy is one instinct I am working on to grow and improve. Growth isn't always comfortable, but it's always expansive.