Focus on the good

"I am peeved with my husband," Ah Lan grumbled. "He doesn't appreciate the things I do for him. Instead, he makes sarcastic and hurtful remarks."

Why can't spouses build each other up instead of tearing each other down?How can partners heal the wounds of misunderstandings and past mistakes?

Before we married, all of us saw qualities that we appreaciated in our partners. Then in marriage, many fail to continue to express appreciation for small things - or even the big things - provided by their partners. Even good relationships can slowly sour and die because our efforts are taken for granted.

But she has all these bad qualities and habits that bother me. Right. I try to focus on the good qualities.

Maybe expressing appreciation won't solve all our marital problems, but I think it is a positive 1st step to improve and heal wounded relations.