"We are going to start our treatment soon," Hoon Kim said while chewing his port bulgogi and squid. "The chances are only 30% but we hope to have success and have our 1st child."
Not being able to have children is the cause of much distress to couples. The late SH Tan who ran the "Dear Eskay column" once told me that the despair and unhappiness that couples experience is great, and that fertility problems make up a regular proportion of a problem page's mailbag.
As time goes on, and they don't conceive, couples can start to feel a failure. If they tell other people their problem they feel awkward - the don't know what to say or they say the wrong things. Many people give uniformed advise ('just relax and it will happen") or unwelcome comfort ("you're better off without children really"). Nothing outsiders can do or say is going to make couples feel better about it. They will feel extra pressure if their own family seems disappointed.
Here's what I feel: whether you eventually have children or not, you still have to take care of your relationship. It is important to remember the reasons that brought you together in the 1st place; few relationships are formed only to have children; and the slice of parenthood takes out of your lives is relatively short compared to today's life spans.
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