Who wins or loses?

"The cold war has begun," Bob moaned. "My wife has not been speaking to me for 3 days now."

When you are angry with each other it is common to see the situation in terms of a winner and a loser, with ourselves as the one who deserves to win.

But when this happens, there is one sure loser - the relationship.

When you set out to win or force your partner to your point of view, the benefits are only short-term. Setting out to win - especially if you always succeed - shows a lack of respect, which undermines the relationship.