Surviving death

Grandma was cremated today.

Grief has come. This is my 1st real time at it and I'm a novice. It's like trying to play a game without knowing the rules.

Since gramma became bed-ridden over a period of 3 years, I had time to brace myself for her death. Time to say "I love you." Time to do what I needed to do, what I wanted to do. I had time to come to closure, to deal with many issues long repressed. I had time, and I didn't always accomplish all these things. But I tried, and trying felt good.