Negotiate a solution

"That's not fair," Amit complained. " "Amit is cheating," Eve whispered. "He has not been doing his fair share."

People let us down. The divorce courts are full of claims of broken promises, unrealised expectations and unfulfilled dreams.

How many of us had cause to complain about something or somebody recently, either at work or elsewhere?

People, undoubtedly, are good at complaining, especially if a perceived element of unfairness is felt.

But they are usually absolutely bereft of ideas about their most important interest...namely...getting their grievances remedied in some way. That's why I urge: dont' just complain, negotiate a solution.

From left: shirley, Kathy, Eve

Respect all

"My GM hired and put somebody above me," Kat said, looking forlorn at the pre-dinner cocktail in Macau. "He downgraded my position one notch as well."

I treat my staff with as much respect as my external customers.

If there's one thing I learned the past 20 years as a sales leader, it is this: People don't care how much we know. They want to know how much we care.

from left: Darwin, Let, Diah, Agung, Juan, Chloe, Elly

Stengthen the bench

"Hyatt Shanghai offered me a job recently," Judy told us while serving us our wine in XinTianDi. "I have a job position for you at our hotel, if you are keen to discuss too," Frankie quickly piped in.

As a leader, I always look ahead - training the people who are sitting on my bench waiting to play.

My approach to training younger people ensures I won't miss a beat when my senior managers are ready to move further up the ladder.

As a sportsman, I firmly believe bench strength makes a difference in a close game.

from left: Jades, Grace, Eleen

Friends try to help

"My husband is cheating on me and I will be leaving home on friday," Mich sounded devastated in her email. "I have tolerated him for so long in the marriage."

A broken heart causes excruciating pain. Friends and loved ones can help soothe the pain. When they are there, laughing, loving and caring, the pain eases, and there is temporary relief. But night falls, and with it comes the terror of agony. Pain is always worse at night. Loneliness comes in when the sun disappears. The hurting explodes when one is all alone.

Part of the pain a broken heart must suffer is the thought that the offender, the heartbreaker, is going to get away with it all. The heart says, "I am the one hurt and wounded; yet I'm the one who pays the price."

Here's my 2-cents' worth my friend: "Stop trying to figure out what you did wrong and why you got hurt.

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~ Alexander Graham Bell
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If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with. ~ Anonymous ~
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Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. ~ Hermann Hesse
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When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve. ~ Oscar Wilde ~
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Having a broken heart is like falling off a horse. Most people will get back on, but some walk away too afraid of the pain to take another chance. ~ Anonymous ~
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Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. ~ Anais Nin ~
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The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. ~ GK Chesteron ~
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For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.' ~ John Greenleaf Whittier ~
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There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. ~ Harry Crews ~
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When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. ~ Anonymous ~

Never nag nor criticise

"More men than women get heart attacks," Bernie , the nurse said. "That's because we women let it out more. We nag, nag, nag, blah, blah, blah."

Criticism, nitpicking, faultfinding is destructive of love. Nothing turns a man off faster than motherly nagging and criticism.

1-legged stool

"Arul's style is very different. He speaks with all the top management people," Michael pointed out on our roadtrip. "I see all levels of the people, from top management down to the people in operational level."

In our dealings with a buying organisation, it is imperative to develop as many relationships as possible.

It is an often said fact: change is today's only constant.

Some sales people find themselves in the cold when a sole contact leaves. That's why I never rely on a 1-legged stool.

Michael and I at Dhoby Gaut, Mumbai

Managing credit

"Treat credit card like cash" That's the headlines of the Invest section of the Sunday Times today.

In certain cases today, credit buying has become almost a necessity. The principle to follow, however, is that credit purchases should be made for necessities only - such as a car or home.

Never buy luxuries on credit.

TV sets, sporting goods and hobby supplies should be paid for in cash. It is usually these items that give people trouble in credit buying. It seems so easy to buy the extras now and delay the payment until later; or charge for thing that you can't pay for completely when the bill 1st comes. Don't fall into this trap.

Interest rates are so high on credit-card purchases that one could end up paying much more for the items then if one had paid cash.

Many people live so close to the edge that just one extra bill pushes them over the edge into financial oblivion.

Take it from a guy who has been down that road, but lived to come back and tell his story.