Hollywood love is not true love

"Disgraced Tiger faces jokes, ridicule on TV." That's one of the headlines of Yahoo Singapore's rotating In the News banners today.

Most people in the world are unloved. The result is that the world is full of lonely hearts.

Some think they've found love but it's actually what a priest once coined it "hollywood love." The result is that when the ecstacy does not continue, and the band stops playing, and the champagne of life loses its sparkle - the search for a new partner begins.

True love, I believe, passes from affection for outer appearances to inner depths of personality.

Knowing my team

"What makes you perceive me the way you do?" SS asked between sips of his teh halia. "What gives you the impression?"

I gain knowledge of my team members from daily observations of their work, how they function under stress, and how they respond to directions and work with others. I find this knowledge essential in determining work assignments and strategy.

from left: Diah, Rae, Shirley

Self-acceptance - road to happiness

"I don't like my nose," Jiaye confessed. "I wish I have a sharper nose."

Most plastic surgeons maintain that when a physical abnormality is corrected in a patient, there is an almost immediate psychological change. The person who looks better becomes more socially outgoing, more pleasant and confident. An orthopedic friend once told me: "It's amazing how an improved appearance raises the self-image and morale of my patients.

If I am to be a happy person, I must learn to be happy about who I am. But this is not a simple matter but I will hack it because self-accepting people are happy people.

Knowing what to change

It's time for our annual 360-degrees performance measurement process.

Survey shows that about 50% of corporate America uses something like this in evaluating employee performance and attitudes.

In a bigger picture, I am a fan of feedback. If you were an orthopedic surgeon, feedback would be like an MRI. If you were an advertising executive, feedback would be the customer segmentations and demographics. If you were a politician, feedback would be the polling data.

Feedback tells us what to change, but not how to do it. The next step is up to us.

What employers want

"The guy over at the competitor has it easy," See said feeling melancholy. "He has 3 staff under him and plays golf all the time"

Here's the simple yet truthful point, mate: the over-riding reason you were hired was that your company felt that you had a special contribution to make. Why else would you be hired?

In the pressure cooker of daily living, it is easy to lose sight of the primary expectation of employers...contribution. The major issue in the minds of employers is not what skills we have, but to what end and purpose we use them. Do we use our skills to merely wile away the time? Or do we use them to add value?

left: Francis

right: Ernie

Philosophy of happiness

"I am single again," Thea sadly acknowledged. "He was not faithful."

Chin up girl.

The way to having a good time is that one shall not be always trying to have a good time. There is no fun in life, if everything is funny; there is no pleasure in shooting fireworks if everything is like New year's Eve celebration. We must have the night to appreciate the day.

In marriage, it is only after the 1st misunderstanding has been survived that a couple begins to discover the beautiful joy of being together.

It is late...but never too late

The pages of the weekend papers were filled with memorials of the Singapore victim in the 1st anniversary of the Mumbai bombing. Today's papers reported the group of supermodels led by Noami Campbell, having a renaissance in the late stage of their careers. They are in their 40's.

As I approach my middle years, I feel that it is time when I should address concerns and questions that seemed more in the realm of the eternal than the temporal. Through grace and diligence, I hope I can live up to the epitaph I had chosen: 77X

All my earlier life was filled with good intentions. I'd wanted to be a better father, husband, Catholic, staff, boss, son and friend; I've wanted to leave a positive mark on the world.

I might have lived up to some of these, but now's the time to ensure the delivery system is in place. I am fully committed to have a renaissance in the remaining days of my life.