Build a meaningful life by building relationships

Trading places. Joe Biden was sworn in as the 46th US president. Trump was the first president not to attend his successor's inauguration since 1869. Meanwhile, Elon Musk edged past Amazon founder Jeff Bezos to grab the title of world's richest person. Bill Gates is now a distant third at $132 billion. In the Entertainment world, after nearly a decade of borrowing $15 billion, Netflix said it would consider buying back shares for the first time since 2011. Disney, meanwhile, temporarily halted its dividend last year. Netflix was founded in 1997, while Disney has been around for nearly 100 years. But in the streaming video world, Netflix is the incumbent and Disney the upstart. The student has become the teacher. We are living during a very interesting period of history, a time of transition. Life is littered with great rivalries. As a sales leader, I don’t remember a time when I was not thinking about rivalry and competition. Sales was tailored for my personality because winning and losing is so clearly defined and measured so often. Ever since I was a boy, I’ve never wanted anyone to beat me. After a lifetime of “warfare” this now I know. Look in the mirror. That’s your competition. If you look closely at transition periods in history, one group of people emerge very strongly. They are leaders. They say the darkest hour is right before the dawn. But from the dark hours of history are born legends, heroes, champions, leaders and great teachers. Granted, some people exert more influence than others, but all of us exert some, and by our influence, people’s lives are touched. People hear what you say and they listen, and they are affected. People watch how you live, and they learn, and they are influenced. The emphasis in all dealings is on developing and nurturing long-term, constructive relationships. Think of every interaction as an opportunity to establish or further develop a long-term, positive relationship. You can only do this with a personal touch. How do you know if you have a great relationship? If you were to ask each person in the relationship who benefits more from the relationship, both would answer, “I do.” Each person contributes so much to the relationship that both feel enriched. Despite some of the best information available on how to accomplish any task, most people still tend to ask their friends, neighbours, coworkers and siblings for advice on key issues they may be facing. Too often, they ask the advice of others who have never triumphed over the specific hardship they are facing or who have never succeeded in their specific area of endeavour. I do my best to be a generous mentor. In the last quarter century of my life, many young people got a slice of my mentorship. I always felt that I’d gained so much from my mentors than I was able to repay them. I expect the people I mentored – the mentees – to become mentors of the next generation, and to keep the cycle going. If you’re going to climb a big, scary mountain that’s never been climbed before, your best hedge is making sure you have the right partners on the other end of the rope, people who can adapt to whatever you encounter on the mountain. Connection was how I got my job done. Who I knew translated very much into what I knew. The first third of my life, connections were essential to get from where I was, a young man with big dreams in the small town of Johor Bahru with no money, no influence, no connections. The second third of my life as an individual contributor, I was only as good as my contacts. I learned very quickly as a young sales person that everything was about connections; that’s how I got my leads and secure the contracts. It began with who your contacts were and how strong your connections are. I learned to keep in touch; to cultivate contacts, to strengthen connections. Now, I think about connection more in terms of life as much as work. My connections are much more about who I want to know, be friends with, spend time with and who enhances my life in some meaningful way, the pleasure of knowing people and through them, experiencing the power of sharing.