Queen Elizabeth II will retire in 18 months at age 95. NO! "There are no plans for any change in arrangements at the age of 95 — or any other age” A rare statement from the Prince Charles' office has shot down the rumours.
The fears of aging have been one long cascading domino effect through the years: twenty-year-olds dread thirty; fifty-year-olds fear fifty; and so it goes. Research shows that having a bad attitude toward aging when we're young is associated with poorer health when we're older.
From my vantage point, I can see how society needs an attitude adjustment when it comes to aging. I don't claim that aging is all good, but it certainly isn't all bad. But too often, the negative stereotypes scare the young and make elders feel worse about themselves.
At 55, I am now at the age known as "senior citizen" (I am eligible for discounts at cinemas and telcos) in Singapore and, like most, wonder how it all happened so fast.
Like a lot of people, I got off to an exciting start in my twenties. Wild, free, energetic are words I would use to recall that period. I had no firm goals, no money, no love life (or prospect of one), no conspicuous talent. My thirties brought responsibility, then predictability. In my forties through to my fifties, I'm expecting less and appreciating more. I remember where I started and appreciate any blessings that come my way. There are crises and difficulties, true. I encountered disappointment and failure and still do. Sure, I'm still in the trough of the U curve.
Life is dynamic and unstable. What worked yesterday, today no longer does. Life is as beautiful as it is challenging; it will reward us and it will test us. There is no escaping the conditions of pain, and difficulty and loss. At times in your life, it may feel like nothing seems to be going your way. For example, if you look to someone else to establish your identity for you in some way, losing that person can make you feel destroyed.
At some point you're going to find yourself in a particular situation where you have no control over any of the variables. We cannot directly control people, events or results. We don't have godlike powers to just magically or mystically transform everything into exactly what we want. We cannot control if we win a game, find love, succeed in business or create world peace. But by making the effort, we vastly improve the odds of achieving what we desire. No matter what our desires or preferences, the universe. So the best way is to enjoy life without clinging - hold all that you have gently - as you might hold a small bird that may fly at any moment. Sometimes strength means holding on, and sometimes it means letting go. So, make the effort, then accept the outcomes. Let go of what you can't control.
We got to learn to be our own best friend. If we do, we have a friend for life. I have seen so many people do it, really come to life. We can buoy ourselves up, give ourselves comfort and sustenance the times when there is no one else. We are our best source of encouragement and good advice. We are all accustomed to waiting for someone to give us a kind word, but we really have available to ourselves, many kind words.
There is no magic switch. But there is an attitude. Our mistake begins when we expect things and other people to assume responsibility for our happiness. Disillusion always seems to follow when we expect someone or something else to make us happy.
Mood swings are common to most of us. One moment we may feel "up", the next "down". We speak as if our feelings change from sunny to stormy like the weather, over which we have no control.
You have to make a very basic decision: do you want to lift yourself up or put yourself down? If you decide you want to help yourself, you can choose to do the things that make you feel good about yourself instead of the things that make you feel terrible.
I try not to concern myself with being happy, instead focus on being strong. Day by day, I am working on strengthening my ability to cope and rebuild in the face of adversity.
This article about aging isn't necessarily about aging at all. It's about living and how we cope and thrive throughout our lives.
The fears of aging have been one long cascading domino effect through the years: twenty-year-olds dread thirty; fifty-year-olds fear fifty; and so it goes. Research shows that having a bad attitude toward aging when we're young is associated with poorer health when we're older.
From my vantage point, I can see how society needs an attitude adjustment when it comes to aging. I don't claim that aging is all good, but it certainly isn't all bad. But too often, the negative stereotypes scare the young and make elders feel worse about themselves.
At 55, I am now at the age known as "senior citizen" (I am eligible for discounts at cinemas and telcos) in Singapore and, like most, wonder how it all happened so fast.
Like a lot of people, I got off to an exciting start in my twenties. Wild, free, energetic are words I would use to recall that period. I had no firm goals, no money, no love life (or prospect of one), no conspicuous talent. My thirties brought responsibility, then predictability. In my forties through to my fifties, I'm expecting less and appreciating more. I remember where I started and appreciate any blessings that come my way. There are crises and difficulties, true. I encountered disappointment and failure and still do. Sure, I'm still in the trough of the U curve.
Life is dynamic and unstable. What worked yesterday, today no longer does. Life is as beautiful as it is challenging; it will reward us and it will test us. There is no escaping the conditions of pain, and difficulty and loss. At times in your life, it may feel like nothing seems to be going your way. For example, if you look to someone else to establish your identity for you in some way, losing that person can make you feel destroyed.
At some point you're going to find yourself in a particular situation where you have no control over any of the variables. We cannot directly control people, events or results. We don't have godlike powers to just magically or mystically transform everything into exactly what we want. We cannot control if we win a game, find love, succeed in business or create world peace. But by making the effort, we vastly improve the odds of achieving what we desire. No matter what our desires or preferences, the universe. So the best way is to enjoy life without clinging - hold all that you have gently - as you might hold a small bird that may fly at any moment. Sometimes strength means holding on, and sometimes it means letting go. So, make the effort, then accept the outcomes. Let go of what you can't control.
We got to learn to be our own best friend. If we do, we have a friend for life. I have seen so many people do it, really come to life. We can buoy ourselves up, give ourselves comfort and sustenance the times when there is no one else. We are our best source of encouragement and good advice. We are all accustomed to waiting for someone to give us a kind word, but we really have available to ourselves, many kind words.
There is no magic switch. But there is an attitude. Our mistake begins when we expect things and other people to assume responsibility for our happiness. Disillusion always seems to follow when we expect someone or something else to make us happy.
Mood swings are common to most of us. One moment we may feel "up", the next "down". We speak as if our feelings change from sunny to stormy like the weather, over which we have no control.
You have to make a very basic decision: do you want to lift yourself up or put yourself down? If you decide you want to help yourself, you can choose to do the things that make you feel good about yourself instead of the things that make you feel terrible.
I try not to concern myself with being happy, instead focus on being strong. Day by day, I am working on strengthening my ability to cope and rebuild in the face of adversity.
This article about aging isn't necessarily about aging at all. It's about living and how we cope and thrive throughout our lives.
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