I sat in the audience when Tshering Tobgay, Bhutan's Prime Minister spoke about measuring his country's success according to Gross National Happiness (GNH), rather than solely gross domestic product, prioritizing well-being over financial growth.
Extensive research since 2000 has shown that people who are happier also have fewer strokes and heart attacks, have better work performance and more professional success, have more fulfilling and longer-lasting relationships and live longer.
It was stunning. An analysis of words people used on Twitter analyzed some 40,000 words in over 80 million tweets throughout the northeastern USA, and when the results were overlaid with a county-by-county analysis of heart attacks, it was a nearly exact correlation.
What kind of language patterns were so predictive of illness? Overall, they were expressions of anger, hostility and aggression, as well disengagement including "mad, alone, annoying, can't, bored" and a slew of words that I can't repeat here.
That really made me stop and think.
How many times have I lay awake at night imagining the aggravation someone put me through during the day...thinking about what he said....what I should have said....what I'll say if you see him again? And of course, that person is sleeping peacefully without any idea that I am awake, thinking about him! So, at that point, whose life is being ruined, consumed and wasted?
For us to forgive another person, it is not required that he deserves our forgiveness. It is not even required that he is aware he has been forgiven. Forgiveness, it turns out, is a gift that means more to the giver than it does to the receiver.
Wasn't it Buddha who said: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who get's burned."
In the same vein, it is important that we forgive ourselves. Most of us over thirty years of age have had plenty of time to get mad about things we've done or haven't done. We made promises that we didn't keep, or we had intentions that were never fulfilled. We set goals we didn't reach, and now, we'd disappointed ourselves. Forgive yourself and move on.
In the past 15 years, science has learned that happiness isn't the result of some big, out-of-reach event or attainment. It's not something you pursue, it's something you do.
I have long since realize that happiness is not by winning the lottery, not by buying a mansion or a Lamborghini, not by moving to Beverly Hills, not by becoming rich and famous or marrying Emma Stone. Not by gigantic achievements and accolades.
Imagine this: if you had $86,400 in your account and someone stole $10 from you, would you be upset and throw all of the remaining $86,390 away in the hope of getting back at the person who took your $10? Or move on and live? See, we all have 86,400 seconds each day. Don't let someone's negative 10 seconds ruin the remaining 86,390.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is bigger than that.
On the one hand, we all want to be happy. On the other hand, we all know the things that make us happy. But we don't do those things? Why? Simple. We are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.
Extensive research since 2000 has shown that people who are happier also have fewer strokes and heart attacks, have better work performance and more professional success, have more fulfilling and longer-lasting relationships and live longer.
It was stunning. An analysis of words people used on Twitter analyzed some 40,000 words in over 80 million tweets throughout the northeastern USA, and when the results were overlaid with a county-by-county analysis of heart attacks, it was a nearly exact correlation.
What kind of language patterns were so predictive of illness? Overall, they were expressions of anger, hostility and aggression, as well disengagement including "mad, alone, annoying, can't, bored" and a slew of words that I can't repeat here.
That really made me stop and think.
How many times have I lay awake at night imagining the aggravation someone put me through during the day...thinking about what he said....what I should have said....what I'll say if you see him again? And of course, that person is sleeping peacefully without any idea that I am awake, thinking about him! So, at that point, whose life is being ruined, consumed and wasted?
For us to forgive another person, it is not required that he deserves our forgiveness. It is not even required that he is aware he has been forgiven. Forgiveness, it turns out, is a gift that means more to the giver than it does to the receiver.
Wasn't it Buddha who said: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who get's burned."
In the same vein, it is important that we forgive ourselves. Most of us over thirty years of age have had plenty of time to get mad about things we've done or haven't done. We made promises that we didn't keep, or we had intentions that were never fulfilled. We set goals we didn't reach, and now, we'd disappointed ourselves. Forgive yourself and move on.
In the past 15 years, science has learned that happiness isn't the result of some big, out-of-reach event or attainment. It's not something you pursue, it's something you do.
I have long since realize that happiness is not by winning the lottery, not by buying a mansion or a Lamborghini, not by moving to Beverly Hills, not by becoming rich and famous or marrying Emma Stone. Not by gigantic achievements and accolades.
Imagine this: if you had $86,400 in your account and someone stole $10 from you, would you be upset and throw all of the remaining $86,390 away in the hope of getting back at the person who took your $10? Or move on and live? See, we all have 86,400 seconds each day. Don't let someone's negative 10 seconds ruin the remaining 86,390.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is bigger than that.
On the one hand, we all want to be happy. On the other hand, we all know the things that make us happy. But we don't do those things? Why? Simple. We are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.
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