Creating commitment

In his book, Paul Hirsch says, "If the firm is free to sack its managers at will, it can no longer expect the same levels of commitment, involvement and caring from its own employees."

To create commitment, I trust and respect my team members and am deeply committed to their welfare. In fact, where such values were not in place any other things managment does are seen as merely empty gestures.

from left: Stephie, May, Kylie, Renee, Vic, Brian

Conditioned instincts

Manchester United played out a 0-0 draw with Newcastle. Football superstars perform so naturally and so instinctively. They let it happen, let it go. They look at the target and shoot. And the ball goes in. Often, in my opinion, the results are works of art. Asking Wayne Rooney to re-create that overhead kick goal against Manchester City would be like begging Leonardo to paint another Mona Lisa. It just doesn't work that way.

However, sports is a programmed affair. The kick-off is at 7.45pm, and so at 7.30pm the players are ready to go. In sales, the phone will ring and suddenly we're talking to a client who has just announced that he's pulling a million-dollar account from our company. Only us, sales veterans who's conditioned our instincts can keep from losing that account.

standing from left: Fadzil, Jaclyn, Alex, Chloe

seated from left: Brian, Jonathan, Winston

Ingredients for romance

Grace listed in her blog a compilation of romantic places in Singapore which included Fort Canning (A favourite love haunt spot), spa botanica and a romantic date out to esplanade.

I found great variety in the settings women find romantic. Where one preferred a moonlight sail on a fishing junk and a big tub with bath oils, another yearned for a couple massage and the Taj Mahal.

I think the ingredients for romance remains the same: To know what she enjoys and take time and give attention to enjoying it with her.

The high cost of a big ego

"Remember: no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," Paul Low reminded me about the memorable Eleanor Roosevelt quote.

Though I am secure in myself - I trust my way - I consciously remind myself not to become arrogant in my self-confidence.

There are bullies at all levels of an organization; unfortunately some are quite successful and are thought of as a confident individual. But these are not to be admired for they are actually cowards with poorly developed egos.

When one door closes.....

My aunt has been diagnosed with cancer, and yet she has kept her mind generally clear of negative thoughts or bitterness. I am amazed how vibrant and energetic she remains in spite to the threat to her life.

Wasn't it Helen keller who exemplified a great attitude towards life's hard times. Blind and deaf since birth, she became a dynamic source of inspiration as an adult. She noted that when 1 door closes in life, another usually opens but we are not aware of it because we tend to be still tugging on the door that closed. We miss new opportunities when we devote our energies to regaining what was lost.

None of us can afford to let our lives be dominated by feelings of depression or powerlessness. It is natural to be emotionally down after taking a hit from life, but, as my aunt has shown with her courage, we all have the power to keep it together.

Loyalty up and down

Seeing the cover on the DVD in the 1976 movie, All the President's men starring Robert redford and Dustin Hoffman reminded me of the famous quote "we are all the president's men" by Henry Kissinger.

Most of us tend to have a tendency to surround ourselves with people we like. We like people who think as we think, and we like people who like us. We trust people who are part of "our team". I know I would rather have a less competent individual who was loyal than one who walked on water that I couldn't trust.

Betrayal is where it's at in the lives of most humans; therefore all else being equal, loyalty is the paramount quality I look for in my core team. After loyalty come ability, skill and competence.

Standing (from left): Let, Vic, Brian

Seated (from left): Jades, Shirley, Rae, Chloe, Stephanie

It's the real thing

"There must be a word which describes a higher level of love. Love is no longer adequately enough a word to describe the relationship," John wondered aloud.

When each of us is willing to lower our protections, we connect with each other in that special kind of love. I read there is a higher level of love called Intimate Love. Intimate Love is an adventure of shared warmth and spontaneity. Partners share playfulness, laughter and love in large portions. We feel free to be ourselves. We are loved not for how we "should"be or what we accomplish, but for ourselves as we really are. This is the ultimate connection. It's the "real thing".