Live a life true to yourself

Google and Amazon announced expansions in New York. Google intends to expand its New York presence to 20,000 workers. Amazon announced it plans to locate its new HQ2 in Queens, NY. Amazon’s decision follows more than a year of lobbying by communities around the US and Canada. A city in Georgia even offered to change its name to Amazon in its bid to be the location of the company's new corporate headquarters.

Of all the lessons of the dying as shared by Bronnie Ware, the regret of not having lived a life true to themselves was the most common one of all.

We want to be independent but we also want to be liked and loved. Our desire to please those around us can sometimes be a way to lose ourselves.

Who is it that we never stop trying to please? For most people, it is their parents or a parent. For others, it can be a mentor or boss. And for still others, it could be a colleague or partner. 

In my case, it is my parents. As I look back, I see I have always wanted to impress my mother and father. Most of all, I wanted them to be proud of me. Fortunately, they never placed any pressure or expectations on me in the area of professional path. 

Experience has taught me I am not alone in all of this. It's amazing how much sway our mother wanting us to be a lawyer or doctor can have over the rest of our lives. I tell you this to illustrate the strong emotional ties we carry with us throughout our lives and the enormous burden other people's expectations can be.

Could I fulfil my career potential and have a fulfilling family life? Could I be a great parent and still attend to my own needs?

We can go too far in either direction, and as most things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Some people are completely absorbed in a world of self. Others get so caught us in pleasing others they lose sight of who they are.

To that end it is important to disengage from as many distractions as possible so you can rest, read, reflect and recover. There will be times when you need to get away with your partner, and occasionally you will need to bounce some of your thinking off a trusted friend. But at some points, you need some time by yourself with few distractions.