Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Who will be the face of the new £50 note? To celebrate the UK's achievement in science, the Bank of England has invited the public to nominate a scientist as the face of the new plastic £50 note. The scientist must be British and dead, as the Queen is the only living person featured on a Bank of England note. Prof Stephen Hawking has to be one of the frontrunners.

The brilliant physicist who suffered from ALS since he 21 once said: “When I turned 21, my expectations were reduced to zero. You probably know this already because there’s been a movie about it. It was important that I came to appreciate what I did have. Although I was unfortunate to get motor neurone disease, I’ve been very fortunate in almost everything else. I’ve been lucky to work in theoretical physics at a fascinating time, and it's one of the few areas in which my disability is not a serious handicap. It’s also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can lose all hope if you can’t laugh at yourself and at life in general.”

We all experience pain and sorrow in life. A job loss, an illness in the family, or a death of a loved one is sometimes inevitable. During this time, to tell a depressed person to "pull yourself together" is like telling a snail to go faster. 

Good things always happen to everyone else.

Bad things always happen to me

My life just gets worse all the time

No one else has to deal with this stuff.

Can you see yourself in some of the examples above? Some people use self-pity as a way to gain attention. Playing the "poor me" card may result in some kind and gentle words from others - at least initially.

When I notice that I'm starting to feel sorry for myself, I shift my focus. I don't allow myself to continue thinking that life isn't fair or that life should be different. Instead, I list the people, circumstances and experiences in life that I can be thankful for.

You don't have to be rich, wildly successful or have the perfect life to feel grateful. A person who earns $2,500 per month may think he doesn't have much money. But if you're reading this, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.

Reframing the way you look at the situation isn't always easy, especially when you're feeling like the host of your own pity party.

When feeling sorry for yourself is about thinking "I deserve better," gratitude is about thinking "I have more than I deserve." This doesn't mean you should turn something negative into an unrealistically positive affirmation. Instead, strive to find a realistic way to look at your situation.