Managing conflicts

"She is not the same these days anymore," Francis sighed. "She is easily irritated and loses her temper quickly."

Studies have shown that the way married couples handle conflict is the most important predictor of whether they will divorce.

Some folks I know like Yen and Steph allow themselves to be overwhelmed by hurtful emotions. Others are more like Miki and Sandra like to express what they feel in a way that hurts, or they refuse to say what they feel, so creating more bad feeling. Still others feel critical of each other, and don't even try to stop thinking critically. In the end, nothing's improved and all that they feel are resentment. What's happened has simply added to the problem.

I try to turn the conflict in a positive direction. It does not always work, but when it does I'm more hopeful about our future.