changing behaviour is like crossing a bridge

I watched Bridge of Spies twice in a month. This Steven Spielberg's movie is inspired by the true story of an insurance lawyer, James B. Donovan (played by Tom Hanks) who became the unlikely go-between in an exchange of prisoners between the U.S and the Soviet government in 1957.

Changing a belief or behaviour is like crossing a bridge. It is not achieved by cajoling or manipulating them against their will. Rather, it is to guide them to a new destination, a transformed way of feeling.

Effective leaders know that the essential first step to changing people's behaviour is to understand their perspectives. Everything else flows naturally from there.

Now, while there's still time

I braved the infamously notorious 6 hours traffic jam at the causeway to head to JB and back. Sacrificing sleep and comfort, the trek was made worthwhile by those hours of banter, laughter and togetherness with mum and dad. This morning I wrapped them in my arms and wished them Merry Christmas.

Regret is tough to repair. It's a fairly simple thing to avoid. To avoid regret, I do and say and express every good thing I can possibly do and say and express to those I love. Because I have learned there isn't always time to whisper good-bye.

 

Invisible results

"I can afford to buy the expansion pack of with those little money I put aside from the sale on Carousell," ACE glowed proudly

Usually, the things that create success in the long run don't look like they're having any impact at all in the short run. It is like that with our health, our exercise, our financial habits, our knowledge, our relationships. With anything and everything.

We usually don't see the results, at least not today. And that is a problem in our push-button, mouse-click, 24-hour-news world. We expect to see results, and we expect to see them now.

But that is not how success is built. It's something we experience gradually, over time.

Ripe, old age of 51

I turn the ripe, old age of 51 today.

In my mind, I had passed life's halfway point and is now accelerating downhill toward the inevitable crash and burn of old age. Ouch indeed.

I still pray every night. Except now I spend more time thanking God for what I have than asking for what I don't. The pot of gold isn't at the end, you see; the journey is it own reward.

Get to yes a little more slowly

One of the fundamental tasks to high performance is figuring out what to say yes to. But we also have to decide when to say no. If we only say yes, we're just adding more to our plate - and if it's anything like mine, it's already close to capacity.

But it's hard to say no. How do you say no to people you work with, live with and care about?

My personal answer is not to focus on saying no but rather on saying yes more slowly. Sometimes we're being asked merely because we are the first person they thought of or because the request hasn't been thought through.

servant leader vs self-serving one

Yvonne and I spoke about change in leadership styles during lunch on Friday

I am thoroughly convinced that great leadership comes from the heart.

If we lead by focusing on building organizational assets or our own legacy, we am keeping our eyes on the scoreboard and miss the most important part of the game that helps guarantee sustainable success - helping our people flourish.

I try to be a servant leader rather than a self-serving one.

I imagine a decade from now reading about a young, emerging leader in the industry. My dream is that when that young leader answers the question of who is the best boss he or she ever had, the person who comes to mind will be me.

Death is harsh

CDL deputy chairman suffered a heart attack and died in his sleep. He was 62.

Death is one subject that shakes up the status quo. I have experienced death of a loved one. It shook me up. I focused a little more on what matters most after that.

If we remember that death is coming, we will remember to open our hearts. Perhaps we won't wait for a perfect moment. We won't postpone love until the chores are done, until we're rested, or until we have enough money in the bank. We will be generous, less stingy with our smiles and our hugs.