A humbling fact

"Be grateful first and then focus on what you want," Jack shared about how he became so successful.

No matter how far along I am in life, I always think about my career. "Who are the people most responsible for my success?" I ask myself and I make it a point to tell them how grateful I am for their help.

Thanking them forces me to confront a humbling fact that I have not achieved my success alone. I had help along the way.

Nothing bad will ever come out of thanking them. Only good.

To: Dato Steve Ong (2nd from left)

With: all my gratitude

Shoes @ tradeshows

Asean Tourism Forum (ATF) in Phnom Penh ended last Friday.

Aching feet and legs are the main physical complaint of both men and women at a tradeshow. Here's my take: Shoes should look new, but never be new. A show is the wrong place toi break in a new pair of shoes.

I always keep those shoes polished. Use the shoeshine stand at the hotel if you have to. It's amazing how scruffed shoes show up under the bright lights of an exhibition.

from left: Dominic, Dennis, Kim

It all depends on what we are looking for

"We have to give back to the community," Zawfir shared humbly and as-a-matter-of-factly. "Tomorrow I will go to some areas of Cambodia and offer my help, like what I do with the orphanages in Malaysia."

A goodfinder is defined as one who looks for and finds what is good in others and in all situations of life.

If we look for imperfectness in others, the search will no doubt be successful. However, if we look beyond the weak and foolish things and seek to find the good and beautiful things that no one else had ever looked quite far to find, we will also be successful. It all depends what we are looking for.

The cliche goes: "2 men looked out from prison bars. One saw mud and one saw stars."

from left: Arjun, Zawfir, Connie

Create options

TRAVEX starts today. The negotiating will be intense.

When 2 people seem to have opposing needs, approaches or solutions, you need to think up more possibilities. For as long as we're only dealing with 2 different options, then each will choose one and stick to it. It's known in the negotiating trade as "positioning". If you can't resolve the issue, that just means you haven't thought of enough positions or options.

So create more.

1 of the new possibilities might appeal to both people.

from left: Alex, Frankie, Jaclyn, Chloe

A totally freeing thing

"My wife would nag me to clean the air-con filters," Frankie moaned. "And she won't stop until I do it."

Marriages are hurting if they are characterised by nagging, cutting sarcasm and ridicule. Ridicule devastates the inner personality, destroying, tearing and cutting great chunks of self away. A marriage characterised by derision, belittling, contempt and the scorn of ridicule is grotesquely twisted.

When people are ridiculed, they pull their heads inot their shells and do not venture to stick them out again. Then they change, and ley the real person inside them never to truly known. But to know and be known is essential to love, marriage and relationships.

To be accepted unconditionally by another person is a totally freeing thing

Be the encourager

Manchester United held Spurs to a scoreless draw last sunday. When United were down to 10 men, the Spurs fan, sensing a victory, were voiceferous in a chorus of "When the spurs go marching in."

Everyone needs encouragement, whether it's in the arena of sports, business or life. Encouragement is often the difference between winning and losing. For example, football teams realise the home ground gives competing teams a definite advantage. Coaches and players repeatedly say the support of the local fans cheering them on is an advantage like the 12th player. And they make their support known very vocally.

That's the way it should be, could be, ought to be in your relationships and mine. Whether the chips are up or down, we should get on our partner's side and be that cheerleader - encourager.

Marriage calls for compromise

Summoning all his diplomatic skills, Andreas said, "Marriage would be much more satisfying if women learned to compromise."

Marriage calls for a lot of compromise. That is a live-or-die word that we need to learn if we are going to succeed in matrimony.