To each his own

"To each his own," Mr Oberoi said amidst the loud retro 80's music.

There are 2 ways to look at success:

1. Do others think you are successful?

2. Do you think so?

The trouble comes when we try to fashion our success to the outside world's specifications - those those drawn up in our hearts. For whom are we succeeding: for ourselves or for somebody else?

Success, if it has to be meaningful, must be a personal thing.

From left: Elly, Chloe, Mufri

Opportunities are solutions to problems

A poster in a tour operator's office in Delhi read: "Millions saw the apple fall. Only Newton asked why."

Without the willingness to see the opportunities beyond, problems will remain as problems. Some people can think of all the reasons or excuses why a thing cannot be done.

Here's the truth: opportunities turn up 1st as problems. Often, where there are problems, there are opportunities. If you don't like problems, you'll never get to meet opportunities - for they are solutions to problems.

The bold man

"I don't believe in doing things averagely," Mayur said in the chic Smoke House. "If I decide to do something, it's gotta be in a big way."

The bold man doesn't ask for guarantees or safety. He is not content with the "We have always done it that way' or "It can't be done" response.

I have always been able to weigh relevant factors, but when it is time to act, I move fearlessly.

The present

"I brought chilli crab to their hotel for them when they came from India to visit Singapore," Michael recalled. "They were so surprised and appreciative."

Giving and receiving gifts as a way of express love is a universal phenomenon.

In our society, not all giving is so sincere. Especially in the business world, much of it is payback for doing business.

The grace of giving has little to do with the size and cost of the gift. It has everything to do with love.

I am careful. It's often tempting to shower children with gifts as substitutes. For many reasons, there are parents I know who sometimes resorts to presents rather than being trully present to their children.

Persevere, persevere, persevere

"I woke up at 5am (Mumbai time) this morning," Michael said in a low tone. "Was speaking with people in my office in Singapore. Had some issues to fix."

I've spent a lot of time lately, thinking about the super-successful people I've known personally over the years. What separates them from the "never do well" and the dreamers?

Successful entrepreneurs believe so fully in themselves and in their missions that they are undauntable and so totally focused and purposeful, it's contagious.

They persevere, persevere, persevere. Tenacity, commitment, resilience and unrelenting determination to accomplish their objective is their strategy. They don't "fold" at the 1st sign of temporary defeat. Setbacks are but a challenge - and these are people who recognise the thin line separating "frustration" from "challenge".

Conditional love is not love at all

"I can't go to Singapore to work and leave my parents in Kolkata," Mohini revealed over her vegetarian dinner. "I want to, but wouldn't that be irresponsible, even though I have other siblings who can look after them? They expect to match make me in marriage but I hope I can marry for love."

Speaking about Kolkata, when Mother Teresa began her work, she stated that her mission was to have those to whom she administered live the last moments of their lives with dignity. For her, it is never, ever too late to discover who we are.

For some of us, we have to be good to be loved - was the message of our childhood. We have to live under the delusion that love was the reward for the things we did. This was the result of receiving a considerable amount of conditional love (praise for specific behaviours) during my early years.

Conditional love is not love at all, I discovered, but merely approval for meeting someone else's standards.

Jealousy - a sign of love?

"He doesn't allow me to go out with my guy friends," Hetal blurted out. "But you know what, though I am not happy in a way, I don't mind it because it means he loves me."

Jealous feelings are usually at their strongest when one is newly in love and do not yet feel secure. It can be very flattering when your partner seems constantly on the edge at the thought of losing you.

Jealousy that continues to figure strongly when the relationship settles down, no longer feels like love; instead it is suffocating, controlling and suggests a lack of trust in the partner and the relationship.