Accept accountability

If you’re like me, your house or apartment has become your office, school, gym, and much more for your entire family. Stay-at–home has become business as usual and many people are looking for ways to transform their homes into ideal “staycation” spots – into their own little private resorts. People are really interested in making their house a place that they want to spend a lot of time at. These staycation transformations are driving gains in stocks such as Home depot, Etsy, Apple, Best buy, Bed Bath and Beyond.

As this black swan event drags on, leaders in every industry are moving urgently to embrace a new agenda—one aimed squarely at what comes next - with actions ranging from rapid responses to more fundamental, strategic shifts. Clarity of thinking, communications, and decision-making will be at a premium.

A few people are blessed with a built-in GPS mechanism and always makes the correct turn and ends up where they intended. They are our role models and heroes. We all know people like this. For some of us, it's our mums or dads. For others, it's a partner (the proverbial "better half"). For others (like me) it's a success coach or a mentor.

Let me share something that is true. I am not one of those blessed with an internal compass. It's not that I don't know who I am or where I am going or what I want to achieve. Not is it that I don't have an adequate sense of self-worth. What's wrong is that I have no idea how my behaviour is coming across to the people who matter my boss, colleagues, subordinates and customers.

Character doesn't come from going to a seminar or reading a book. While those things can help, character is formed by continued hard work and intentional effort. I want desperately to be a man of high moral and character.

If you're like me, we need honest, helpful feedback. Feedback tells us what to change, not how to do it. And when we know what to change, we're ready to start changing ourselves and how people perceive us.

You know the old saying: to err is human, to forgive divine. When you make a mistake, give the people you work with a shot at divinity. Admit your error. Own up. Then propose a course to correct the mistake. Never use your authority to mask your mistakes. Admit them. Apologize for them.

If it isn't obvious by now, I regard apologizing  as the most healing, restorative gesture human beings can make. Admitting you were wrong is tough for some people to do - but brilliant for those who can. Express your regret, offer no excuses, take full responsibility. Once you admit an error, look to the future. What have you learned? How will you keep this from happening again? Reflect, learn and adjust your behaviour.

In fact, great leaders know that when you are willing to admit your own mistakes and genuinely listen to critical feedback - without rationalizing, justifying or placing blame - you get to turn these moments into learning opportunities for yourself and "teachable moments" for your team. You create a more open and collaborative culture among your team members - without the pressure and fear of anyone pretending to know it all. This kind of authenticity and transparency ultimately gives others permission to be open about their weaknesses and fears too.

We can't undo our errors, but we can learn from them. If we don't learn, the lessons get harder. Regretting our mistakes is not the same as learning the lesson. We are not here to be perfect, but to live and learn, to fall and to rise again - to evolve and strive toward our highest potential. May this painful experience become a blessing that transforms your life.

Weathering the storm

Elbow bumps are the new handshakes. Mask-wearing EU leaders met in their first face-to-face summit since the coronavirus crisis with elbow bumps not handshakes, to avoid unnecessary touching. The way the world says hello is changing. Italians, known for their warmth and intimate greetings, are simply waving from a distance. On Twitter, people are sharing some creative greetings: Jazz hands, peace signs, air high-fives and finger guns. 

It's ok for you not to feel ok now. 

It's not a secret that life can be stressful at this time, and most of us know (either first-hand or through someone else's experience) that there are a lot of negative ways that people cope with stress. Isolation can be especially difficult, so it is useful if you can reach out to someone for support. While having caring, supportive people around us may not be able to actually change anything, by simply listening to the situation and providing supportive words or positive feedback is an important part of being able to bounce back from adversity.

None of us walks alone in this world. No matter how much talent or skill or passion you have, there will come a moment when, you must rely on the gifts, skills and the commitment of others. Recognizing this truth is the only way to avoid becoming delusional.

I am truly one of the most fortunate person who ever lived. Throughout my life, whenever I have had a real need, someone has always been there to help me. Some people step into your life and leave an imprint in your heart, one that never goes away. They lighten your burdens. When you falter, they help you stand. And you grow in resilience when you do the same for them, because the need to be strong for others often reveals untapped reserves of strength in yourself.

Furthermore, we shouldn't be afraid to let others see the truth of our own struggles - especially when we need their support. In many ways, our transparency is our gift, allowing others to feel less alone.

The people who wants to feel more connected, supported and cared about often believe they need to wait for someone to come and offer those things first. Research shows that one of the most helpful mindset shifts you can make is to see yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience. This study tells us two things. If we focus on comforting, helping and caring for someone, we experience hope and connection. If instead we focus on relieving our own distress, we stay stuck in fear.

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself. Caring creates resilience.

Actions matter far more than motives. I might donate money to charity because it makes me feel good, or feeds my ego, or impresses someone. In either case, the charity still benefits. The motives seem beside the point. If I provide a kind of service, what difference do my reasons make? 

When you're feeling overwhelmed, look for a way to do something for someone else. Your brain might tell you that you don't have the time or energy, but that is exactly why you should do it.  You can give others appreciation, your full attention, or even turn your personal crises into ways to help others. Think of one of the most difficult events of your life. How can you use this story to help others? How can you leverage it to impact someone in a positive way? 

To feel the love of people whom we know is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those we do not know - that is something still greater and more beautiful.

Ask for help, and be of help. Whether you are overwhelmed by your own stress of the suffering of others, the way to find hope is to connect, not to escape.

Why me?

COVID19 cliff: the way of COVID bankruptcies is coming. It includes household names like Hertz, Cirque du Soleil, Dean & Deluca, GNC, True Religion Apparel, J. Crew, Neiman Marcus and ALDO.

Surely we are very far from any "settling down" of this pandemic and world economy. It is thus imperative today for leaders to know how to navigate these turbulent times. There are no miracle cure, no quick fixes.

Some leaders withhold bad news because they are more worried about being liked than dealing with issues that affect everyone. The ones who are frank and transparent become trusted and the team, in spite of uncertain times, remains unified. 

Be visible. Let your people see you leading. Leaders can be quietly competent, but they must be visible by providing assurance, direction and inspiration. 

Our ability to handle life's challenges is a measure of our strength of character. Loss of a job, the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship, your sudden storm is upon you and the pain and fear is so overwhelming. Many people feel lost and alone when they are going through bad times. No matter how difficult your life may become, no matter how hard it gets, there is always reason to keep on going and fighting because no defeat is permanent. Aristotle once said, "To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold."

"Paul, you're either crazy or oversimplifying the problem of pain," some may say. "It's hard to believe that every problem has a silver lining." After all, what good can come from losing your leg and being on drugs or some other serious trials?

Not long ago, I met someone who had just lost the love of her life. She was in pieces, literally broken. She was in a very, very bad state. I imagine the pain she felt, and also the question that must have come up time and again in her mind when trying to find a possible explanation for the inexplicable, to justify the unjustifiable, to understand a tragedy that has no meaning: "Why me?"

Life is unstable. What worked yesterday, today no longer does. Throughout our life, we will experience problems and crisis, there is no question about that, but the good news is that we can learn to manage and over come them. Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has a low point. No one is up all the time, neither are they down all the time. No problem is permanent. Problems do end. They do go away. They are all resolved in time. Storms will give way to the sun. Your storm will pass.

The key is to tenaciously dig in and hold on until the light breaks, the tide turns and the times change for the better. Often the only choice we have is to be strong.

One way to do that is to trust in a power greater than yourself. There is one lesson to be learned, only one. It is a simple lesson. God's delay is not God's denial. 

Make the unknown known

Trikini: a matching bikini and face mask set. Coronavirus couture: One designer in Italy hit the headlines this month when she created the trikini. The surgical face mask has become a symbol of our times, an essential item in everyday life. The designer face mask is the new must-have fashion item. With masks advised for the foreseeable future, people are finding ways to incorporate them into their outfits. High-profile figures have started to match their masks to their outfits. Images of a matching mask and suit outfit garnered more than 100,000 likes on Twitter.

With the mask on, when we can’t see the lower half of the face, it’s easy to be misunderstood. Behind a mask, the distinction is not so clear: Are you wincing at me? Do you just have a lot of crow’s-feet? Was what you said an insult or a joke?

The mask is worn not to protect and not to hide.

Being transparent and open is one of the most important leadership habits you will ever develop. Will it be uncomfortable? Probably. Will it create lots of reactions? Yes. But it is the right thing to do.

During this pandemic, the situation we face is changing so fast and is so uncertain, when information is unavailable or inconsistent, that communication, transparency and guidance  is more important now than ever before.

This month, we accelerated digital options and hosted a dilogy of large scale virtual engagement webinars for customers to share and exchange views on this new normal.

These experiences are critical for customers in the short term, and the impact will build positive relationships that are bound to last long after the crisis has ended.

Those who are trusted are candid: they are not afraid to tell the truth in the clearest terms possible. Appearing to hide something breeds skepticism. Whether it is during hard economic conditions, or during a new project, being transparent puts customers and team members on the same page and builds trust. 

Yes, being confidential about appropriate matters is important, but when you're willing to share relevant information, they will give you the benefit of doubt. Being transparent implies giving bad news when appropriate, even though you know it could hurt. Leaders who are frank and transparent become trusted and the team, in spite of uncertain times, remains unified. 

Seth Godin puts it this way: "Earn trust, earn trust, earn trust. Then you can worry about the rest."

 

Staying power

"Just Do It" slogan became: "For once, don't do it. Don't pretend there's not a problem in America". Nike released the 60-second "Don't Do It" campaign on its social channels. As protesters pour into streets across the country set off by the killing of George Floyd, corporate America is speaking out. Some high profile CEOs and business leaders have done this publicly on social media channels while others have issued internal statements to their company’s employees.

In light of the "dehumanization" of black people incidents history, Mayor Jacob Frey commented, "Being black in America should not be a death sentence."

Will it ever stop?

There is no undoing the past. With great sadness, I will tell you that. There is no forgetting or letting go of regret.  

Going through the long game, for example, a ten-year voyage of trials and tribulations. Of disappointment without giving in. Ironhearted and ready to endure whatever punishment the Gods decide you must. Now that's perseverance.

Life is not about one obstacle, but many. Perseverance is a matter of will. Endurance. Resilience. The good thing about perseverance is that it can't be stopped by anything besides death.

We whine and complain and mope when things won't go our way. We're crushed when what we were "promised" is revoked - as if that is not allowed to happen. We can go around or under or backward - we can keep going, advancing, even if we're stopped in one particular direction.

Our actions can be constrained, but our will can't be. Our plans - even our bodies - can be broken. No matter how many times we are thrown back, we alone retain the power to decide to go once more. Or to try another route. Or, at the very least, to accept this reality and decide upon a new aim.

There was a time in my life when i thought that life could not get any better. Things were going very well indeed. Then I entered one of the darkest periods of my time, my life.  It's during this time that I find out what I am made of - grit, determination and an enduring faith in my dream. I truly believe that God does not close one door, without opening up another.

We can't control the barriers or the people who put them there. But we control ourselves - and that is sufficient.

It's easy to talk about how important it is to believe in yourself and what you're doing, and never give up. The hard part is actually doing it. Getting pushed down many times and standing back up again and again is one of the hardest things to do in life.

That's why it is so important to find contentment and meaning in the daily grind, in the struggle. Perseverance is a constant pursuit, but to be truly good at it, and to be resilient, requires that you enjoy the ride of your life, whatever that roller coaster may look like and however different it may differ from what you envisioned.

There are endless great success stories of our time about those who have fought incredible odds to succeed. J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while going through a divorce, living in a small apartment with her son with the assistance of the government, and mourning her mom who had recently passed away. The manuscript was rejected by twelve different publishers. Not one, two or even three. Twelve.

One yes has much more power than a thousand no's. Its power is so great that it can wipe out the memory of those rejections. When you get the yes you want, the no's will no longer matter.

Open our eyes to what is already there

Being contained in our homes—maybe for months—is already reorienting our relationship to government, to the outside world, even to each other. It will be near-impossible to put that genie back in the bottle, with many people learning that the difference between having to put on a tie and commute for an hour or working efficiently at home was always just the ability to download one or two apps. No one knows exactly what will come. Will touch become taboo? 


But this crisis presents a revived appreciation for the outdoors and life’s other simple pleasures. We could travel almost without limitations and meet people without restrictions. For a long time, we’ve probably taken for granted the ability to see our colleagues every day and maybe didn’t realize how valuable that was.

It is important to note that for a tikme in my life, I chose to be blind. Because of that choice, I was blind not only to beauty; I was also blind to forgiveness, to the value in others and a host of other things. These past two months of lockdown has left me determined to not feel regrets at the end of my own time, whenever that will be. There was no way I was going to be given the gift of this wisdom and not learn by it.

It's too easy to want more from life, and that's fine to a degree, since expanding who we are is part of dreaming and growing. But as we will never have everything we want and will always be growing, appreciating what we already have along the way is the most important thing.

Here's a wake-up call question: If you had one year to live, how would you organize your life?

In business, growth is good. In executive waistlines, growth isn't. Health and fitness are virtually ignored by a preponderance of top executives. We've all heard the basic rules of peak performance: get the proper amount of rest, eat a good diet and exercise. Somehow many top leaders think they do not need what the rest of us mere mortals must have to be at our best. 

Here's a million-dollar question: If someone you love died today, what would you regret?

Would you regret not communicating how much you loved and cared for the individual? Or that you had not paid enough attention to supporting the other person's life? 

We can never know how long we are here for or how long those we love will be. Don't lose touch with the friends you value most. Those who accept you as who you are, and who know you very well, are worth more than anything in the end. Many of my best memories of friendships were of walkimg, talking and laughing. Don't let life get in the way. 

If you often find yourself thinking "if only", it's time to take back responsibility for your life and your schedule and priorities. It's that simple. When it comes to living, it's now or never. There's no "later."

Life is over so quickly. Some of us will live a long life, many of us won't. We spend so much time making plans for the future, often assuming all of the time in the world, when all we ever have is out life today. 

Each day is as precious as our last, because one of these days, it will be.