Weathering the storm

Elbow bumps are the new handshakes. Mask-wearing EU leaders met in their first face-to-face summit since the coronavirus crisis with elbow bumps not handshakes, to avoid unnecessary touching. The way the world says hello is changing. Italians, known for their warmth and intimate greetings, are simply waving from a distance. On Twitter, people are sharing some creative greetings: Jazz hands, peace signs, air high-fives and finger guns. 

It's ok for you not to feel ok now. 

It's not a secret that life can be stressful at this time, and most of us know (either first-hand or through someone else's experience) that there are a lot of negative ways that people cope with stress. Isolation can be especially difficult, so it is useful if you can reach out to someone for support. While having caring, supportive people around us may not be able to actually change anything, by simply listening to the situation and providing supportive words or positive feedback is an important part of being able to bounce back from adversity.

None of us walks alone in this world. No matter how much talent or skill or passion you have, there will come a moment when, you must rely on the gifts, skills and the commitment of others. Recognizing this truth is the only way to avoid becoming delusional.

I am truly one of the most fortunate person who ever lived. Throughout my life, whenever I have had a real need, someone has always been there to help me. Some people step into your life and leave an imprint in your heart, one that never goes away. They lighten your burdens. When you falter, they help you stand. And you grow in resilience when you do the same for them, because the need to be strong for others often reveals untapped reserves of strength in yourself.

Furthermore, we shouldn't be afraid to let others see the truth of our own struggles - especially when we need their support. In many ways, our transparency is our gift, allowing others to feel less alone.

The people who wants to feel more connected, supported and cared about often believe they need to wait for someone to come and offer those things first. Research shows that one of the most helpful mindset shifts you can make is to see yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience. This study tells us two things. If we focus on comforting, helping and caring for someone, we experience hope and connection. If instead we focus on relieving our own distress, we stay stuck in fear.

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself. Caring creates resilience.

Actions matter far more than motives. I might donate money to charity because it makes me feel good, or feeds my ego, or impresses someone. In either case, the charity still benefits. The motives seem beside the point. If I provide a kind of service, what difference do my reasons make? 

When you're feeling overwhelmed, look for a way to do something for someone else. Your brain might tell you that you don't have the time or energy, but that is exactly why you should do it.  You can give others appreciation, your full attention, or even turn your personal crises into ways to help others. Think of one of the most difficult events of your life. How can you use this story to help others? How can you leverage it to impact someone in a positive way? 

To feel the love of people whom we know is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those we do not know - that is something still greater and more beautiful.

Ask for help, and be of help. Whether you are overwhelmed by your own stress of the suffering of others, the way to find hope is to connect, not to escape.

Why me?

COVID19 cliff: the way of COVID bankruptcies is coming. It includes household names like Hertz, Cirque du Soleil, Dean & Deluca, GNC, True Religion Apparel, J. Crew, Neiman Marcus and ALDO.

Surely we are very far from any "settling down" of this pandemic and world economy. It is thus imperative today for leaders to know how to navigate these turbulent times. There are no miracle cure, no quick fixes.

Some leaders withhold bad news because they are more worried about being liked than dealing with issues that affect everyone. The ones who are frank and transparent become trusted and the team, in spite of uncertain times, remains unified. 

Be visible. Let your people see you leading. Leaders can be quietly competent, but they must be visible by providing assurance, direction and inspiration. 

Our ability to handle life's challenges is a measure of our strength of character. Loss of a job, the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship, your sudden storm is upon you and the pain and fear is so overwhelming. Many people feel lost and alone when they are going through bad times. No matter how difficult your life may become, no matter how hard it gets, there is always reason to keep on going and fighting because no defeat is permanent. Aristotle once said, "To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold."

"Paul, you're either crazy or oversimplifying the problem of pain," some may say. "It's hard to believe that every problem has a silver lining." After all, what good can come from losing your leg and being on drugs or some other serious trials?

Not long ago, I met someone who had just lost the love of her life. She was in pieces, literally broken. She was in a very, very bad state. I imagine the pain she felt, and also the question that must have come up time and again in her mind when trying to find a possible explanation for the inexplicable, to justify the unjustifiable, to understand a tragedy that has no meaning: "Why me?"

Life is unstable. What worked yesterday, today no longer does. Throughout our life, we will experience problems and crisis, there is no question about that, but the good news is that we can learn to manage and over come them. Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has a low point. No one is up all the time, neither are they down all the time. No problem is permanent. Problems do end. They do go away. They are all resolved in time. Storms will give way to the sun. Your storm will pass.

The key is to tenaciously dig in and hold on until the light breaks, the tide turns and the times change for the better. Often the only choice we have is to be strong.

One way to do that is to trust in a power greater than yourself. There is one lesson to be learned, only one. It is a simple lesson. God's delay is not God's denial. 

Make the unknown known

Trikini: a matching bikini and face mask set. Coronavirus couture: One designer in Italy hit the headlines this month when she created the trikini. The surgical face mask has become a symbol of our times, an essential item in everyday life. The designer face mask is the new must-have fashion item. With masks advised for the foreseeable future, people are finding ways to incorporate them into their outfits. High-profile figures have started to match their masks to their outfits. Images of a matching mask and suit outfit garnered more than 100,000 likes on Twitter.

With the mask on, when we can’t see the lower half of the face, it’s easy to be misunderstood. Behind a mask, the distinction is not so clear: Are you wincing at me? Do you just have a lot of crow’s-feet? Was what you said an insult or a joke?

The mask is worn not to protect and not to hide.

Being transparent and open is one of the most important leadership habits you will ever develop. Will it be uncomfortable? Probably. Will it create lots of reactions? Yes. But it is the right thing to do.

During this pandemic, the situation we face is changing so fast and is so uncertain, when information is unavailable or inconsistent, that communication, transparency and guidance  is more important now than ever before.

This month, we accelerated digital options and hosted a dilogy of large scale virtual engagement webinars for customers to share and exchange views on this new normal.

These experiences are critical for customers in the short term, and the impact will build positive relationships that are bound to last long after the crisis has ended.

Those who are trusted are candid: they are not afraid to tell the truth in the clearest terms possible. Appearing to hide something breeds skepticism. Whether it is during hard economic conditions, or during a new project, being transparent puts customers and team members on the same page and builds trust. 

Yes, being confidential about appropriate matters is important, but when you're willing to share relevant information, they will give you the benefit of doubt. Being transparent implies giving bad news when appropriate, even though you know it could hurt. Leaders who are frank and transparent become trusted and the team, in spite of uncertain times, remains unified. 

Seth Godin puts it this way: "Earn trust, earn trust, earn trust. Then you can worry about the rest."

 

Staying power

"Just Do It" slogan became: "For once, don't do it. Don't pretend there's not a problem in America". Nike released the 60-second "Don't Do It" campaign on its social channels. As protesters pour into streets across the country set off by the killing of George Floyd, corporate America is speaking out. Some high profile CEOs and business leaders have done this publicly on social media channels while others have issued internal statements to their company’s employees.

In light of the "dehumanization" of black people incidents history, Mayor Jacob Frey commented, "Being black in America should not be a death sentence."

Will it ever stop?

There is no undoing the past. With great sadness, I will tell you that. There is no forgetting or letting go of regret.  

Going through the long game, for example, a ten-year voyage of trials and tribulations. Of disappointment without giving in. Ironhearted and ready to endure whatever punishment the Gods decide you must. Now that's perseverance.

Life is not about one obstacle, but many. Perseverance is a matter of will. Endurance. Resilience. The good thing about perseverance is that it can't be stopped by anything besides death.

We whine and complain and mope when things won't go our way. We're crushed when what we were "promised" is revoked - as if that is not allowed to happen. We can go around or under or backward - we can keep going, advancing, even if we're stopped in one particular direction.

Our actions can be constrained, but our will can't be. Our plans - even our bodies - can be broken. No matter how many times we are thrown back, we alone retain the power to decide to go once more. Or to try another route. Or, at the very least, to accept this reality and decide upon a new aim.

There was a time in my life when i thought that life could not get any better. Things were going very well indeed. Then I entered one of the darkest periods of my time, my life.  It's during this time that I find out what I am made of - grit, determination and an enduring faith in my dream. I truly believe that God does not close one door, without opening up another.

We can't control the barriers or the people who put them there. But we control ourselves - and that is sufficient.

It's easy to talk about how important it is to believe in yourself and what you're doing, and never give up. The hard part is actually doing it. Getting pushed down many times and standing back up again and again is one of the hardest things to do in life.

That's why it is so important to find contentment and meaning in the daily grind, in the struggle. Perseverance is a constant pursuit, but to be truly good at it, and to be resilient, requires that you enjoy the ride of your life, whatever that roller coaster may look like and however different it may differ from what you envisioned.

There are endless great success stories of our time about those who have fought incredible odds to succeed. J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while going through a divorce, living in a small apartment with her son with the assistance of the government, and mourning her mom who had recently passed away. The manuscript was rejected by twelve different publishers. Not one, two or even three. Twelve.

One yes has much more power than a thousand no's. Its power is so great that it can wipe out the memory of those rejections. When you get the yes you want, the no's will no longer matter.

Open our eyes to what is already there

Being contained in our homes—maybe for months—is already reorienting our relationship to government, to the outside world, even to each other. It will be near-impossible to put that genie back in the bottle, with many people learning that the difference between having to put on a tie and commute for an hour or working efficiently at home was always just the ability to download one or two apps. No one knows exactly what will come. Will touch become taboo? 


But this crisis presents a revived appreciation for the outdoors and life’s other simple pleasures. We could travel almost without limitations and meet people without restrictions. For a long time, we’ve probably taken for granted the ability to see our colleagues every day and maybe didn’t realize how valuable that was.

It is important to note that for a tikme in my life, I chose to be blind. Because of that choice, I was blind not only to beauty; I was also blind to forgiveness, to the value in others and a host of other things. These past two months of lockdown has left me determined to not feel regrets at the end of my own time, whenever that will be. There was no way I was going to be given the gift of this wisdom and not learn by it.

It's too easy to want more from life, and that's fine to a degree, since expanding who we are is part of dreaming and growing. But as we will never have everything we want and will always be growing, appreciating what we already have along the way is the most important thing.

Here's a wake-up call question: If you had one year to live, how would you organize your life?

In business, growth is good. In executive waistlines, growth isn't. Health and fitness are virtually ignored by a preponderance of top executives. We've all heard the basic rules of peak performance: get the proper amount of rest, eat a good diet and exercise. Somehow many top leaders think they do not need what the rest of us mere mortals must have to be at our best. 

Here's a million-dollar question: If someone you love died today, what would you regret?

Would you regret not communicating how much you loved and cared for the individual? Or that you had not paid enough attention to supporting the other person's life? 

We can never know how long we are here for or how long those we love will be. Don't lose touch with the friends you value most. Those who accept you as who you are, and who know you very well, are worth more than anything in the end. Many of my best memories of friendships were of walkimg, talking and laughing. Don't let life get in the way. 

If you often find yourself thinking "if only", it's time to take back responsibility for your life and your schedule and priorities. It's that simple. When it comes to living, it's now or never. There's no "later."

Life is over so quickly. Some of us will live a long life, many of us won't. We spend so much time making plans for the future, often assuming all of the time in the world, when all we ever have is out life today. 

Each day is as precious as our last, because one of these days, it will be.

Do what counts

WFH burnout is real. Workplace burnout doesn't just happen to people who put in long hours at the office. It's also a threat to the millions of people due to the suddenness of having to work from home. How can we “leave our work at the door” if we are no longer going out the door?


Google announced May 22 as a company holiday to tackle WFH burnout. 


You know the type: the kind of eager beaver who is so “committed” that they are first to boot up the computer, last to shutdown, never takes a break, grinds right through lunch, always eager to take on a new project, months of unused vacation and personal days piled up. Our culture loves these people, considering them the very definition of the word dedication.


Don’t get me wrong. I am not against honest labour. I am not suggesting that hard work is not paramount to growth. But hard work will no more make you an inspired performer than practicing your penmanship will earn you a Pulitzer Prize for poetry. 


Rest is a good thing. The benefits of rest are supported by a large body of scientific evidence. It’s not that people want to wear themselves down. While it was easier to compartmentalize your workweek with things like commutes, weekend plans, and Monday morning banter, our current situation has made those boundaries disappear. For some, isolation and for others, working at home in the presence of their families add to the stress. 

As a leader, I hold my team's well-being at the heart of my motivational outlook. Before you slight well-being as too "fluffy" consider the perspective of Dr Dirk Veldhort who was adamant: "with well-being, you can create value for yourself and your organization. Without it, short-term productivity is less probable and long-term growth is almost impossible." Blindness to WFH burnout shows you are not adapting to the needs of the moment. 

Realistically, there is never going to be a time when nothing is on your plate. Leaders constantly see new things to fix or act upon. Busi-ness leaders get in a cycle of setting impossible expectations of themselves and their teams. 

A leader must create breathing room on a daily basis. Leaders who do less but do more of the right things are more effective. 

 

Care more

Corona Divorce. That term is trending on Japanese social media sites as couples in lockdown grow fed up with each other. “My husband’s loud voice. The television is on loudly all day. My husband snoring as he lays in the middle of the living room,” wrote one Japanese wife on Twitter. “I’ve put up with this for 10 days. How many more days will it last? Will my spirit hold?”

Life in lockdown has changed almost everything about the way we live and work. Life has changed like never before. From struggling to keep a business afloat to the experience of redundancy or furlough,  from the effect on your children to your work-life balance, cooking habits and entertainment under lockdown, all of us are having to learn to adapt.

There has never been a more crucial time for strong leadership than at any time in history. With anxieties on job security and an unscheduled crash course in 100% remote leadership, the impact of disruption affects different people–mentally, emotionally and operationally–in different ways. Four weeks ago, we would never have expected that our meetings, our conferences would all need to take place from our home offices or our kitchen tables.

I'll say this simply: how you treat people when times are good and how you treat them when times turn bad will define your true measure of wealth. A major part of my 2020 has been spent trying to understand what it really means to be a virtual leader - particularly under conditions of adversity and ambiguity.

Leadership isn't a punch-in/punch-out position, it's a privilege. When you sacrifice for your team, it gains loyalty, which is again a privilege. The people I have the opportunity to lead do things because they care, not because they have to.

You build influence and forge genuine relationships when you put their needs before your needs. You want to be the type of leader who walks into the room and says, "There you are!" instead of "Here I am!"

As a leader, I gave more and got much more in return. In order to be a true leader, you need to have a deep passion for helping the people you're leading. Of course, I am in no way saying I do things perfectly, or that I always get things right with our people. Sometimes I blow it completely. But no one will tell you I don't try.

Under extreme pressure, the ability to lighten up, celebrate and laugh can make all the difference. It can break a spirit of depression and stimulate creativity.  It can cut through fear and tension. Finally, it can enable a team to refocus, renergize and surmount daunting obstacles. When times were not so bad, celebration came easily. What is most impressive, however, is that the spirit of celebration continued throughout these darkest of days, when cheerful rituals  could easily have turned to deep despair.

We meet virtually for team bonding games and activities. It creats an upbeat mood and a way of thinking about life that sustains us through these grimmest of times.

Optimism can be sparked by reframing tough situations in positive, empowering ways. It is important to note that the concept of reframing is not simply saying blithely that things will be all right. Rather, it is to take the difficult situation and envision all the possible outcomes, both positive and negative. We looked thought about what could be the most critical priorities, what are the key opportunities for action and what concrete things can we do to create a sense of momentum and forward movement.

People have an incredible B.S. screen. They know when you're smoking them, and they know when you are being real.

My team see me showing up via casual calls, messages, video chats, both individual and group. There are ways of showing up which do not take much effort and no money whatsoever. But they do take interest. Little things count. Sometimes little things count the most. Small deeds are far better than great intentions.  Everyone wants to know that their leader takes an interest in them for the long term and ants them to succeed. People don’t care how much you know. They want to know how much you care. 

Caring leads to trust. Care and compassion have an impact on the bottom line. Rainbows after storms. Never let a good crisis go to waste.