The power of progress

Coca-Cola vs Starbucks. Coca-Cola announced recently that it would buy British coffee-shop chain Costa Coffee for $5.1 billion - a move which is likely to have a major impact on Starbucks. The first Starbucks store opened in 1971 in Seattle and over the course of 1990s and 2000s grew into a massive organization. Coca-Cola was first sold at a soda fountain in Atlanta in 1886. sales for that first year added up to a grand total of $50. Today Coca-Cola is the largest beverage manufacturer and distributor in the world. 

It's an important question to ask ourselves: "Am I making progress?"

The reason I point this out is because progress animates us. It brings us to life. When we sense that we are making progress, we tend to be filled with passion, energy, enthusiasm, purpose and a real and sustainable joy. 

Are you making progress? Are you a better person today than you were a year ago? Are you happier? Are you a better partner? parent? child? leader? colleague? friend? Are you healthier? Are you more financially independent than you were a year ago? Is your work becoming more and more satisfying? 

Progress is moving towards a goal.  For every person the answer to what we wish to progress toward would be different.

Baby steps are the secret  Small victories lead to large victories. 

I take time at the end of each day, even at intervals throughout the day, to reflect on the progress I have made. I consider the different areas of my life. In some, I have made progress; I celebrate that progress. 

In other areas, I have stagnated or regressed; I don't beat myself up about it. If I fail in some way, I consciously take time to identify what I have learned from the experience. I have learned to see even my defeats are part of the process, as progress. I am a work in progress. 

Sometimes there comes a point on our journey when we become so locked up in the daily humdrum when we inevitably question the journey at all. Are we going in the right direction? How long until we get there? How much more of this can we take? Maybe it's event time to turn back.

Anyone who's ever gone to the gym knows that the results aren't immediate. You don't spend thirty minutes on the treadmill and look like a new person. But that doesn't mean what you're doing isn't working. With each exercise, each step, each movement, each action, you get a little better, a little closer. You're making progress. 

Until one day you look in the mirror and think, "Wow!"

It's the same thing with your work or your health or your career or your relationships. Even when you don't see anything happening, it is. Even when you're not hitting the mark , you're making progress. 

Until one day you look at your bank balance or your new job and think, "Wow!" 

Change your expectations

At least 1,000 children were victims of priestly sexual abuse some over the past 70 years, according to a recent grand jury report in Pennsylvania. The Catholic Church’s credibility has been devastated by years of revelations that priests raped and molested children and their superiors covered up for them. Pope Francis issued a letter to Catholics around the world condemning the crime of priestly sexual abuse and its cover-up. 

Reality is not what we think. Things are not always as they seem. What's really happening is not always obvious on the surface. Even salt looks like sugar. 

We live in a world where many things and many people are fixated on the superficial.

Positive expectations don't always breed positive experiences. Those with idealistic expectations are often disappointed when reality doesn't meet them.

If a group of people go on a camping trip, some will form expectations of crackling campfires and starry night skies. Others will imagine snakes, bugs, pit toilets and dirt. Their expectations may influence their behaviour. 

The influence of expectations on behaviour can work for or against us. The key is to become aware of the power of expectations. 

If you feel dissatisfied with your life and want to improve it, change your expectations.

Have you gone to a film or party or vacation expecting it to be absolutely fantastic? Did your experience meet your expectations? Do you think your experience would have been different if you had different expectations, or none at all? 

Hardship is part of life - but whether we view it as tragic or heroic, depends on our perspective. Our minds can make meaning or madness, light a candle or curse the darkness - the choice is ours.

Image can make or break our careers

Crazy Rich Asians is a movie about a Chinese-American economics professor from a modest background who falls for a super-handsome fellow academic in New York, without knowing that he is a Singaporean aristocrat who is "richer than God.". The first major Hollywood production with a predominantly Asian cast in 25 years, not a single central character is played by a white actor. This is a breakthrough in American cinema - an entire movie about Asians without martial arts or stereotypical nerds - as last year there were only four Asian leads in the 100 top-grossing films. 

The game has changed. 

Good performance alone will not get you the promotion you want. Years of experience and service won't prevent you from being downsized. I now recognize the importance of going beyond performance. Image is the corporate "it" factor. 

Image affects not only the workplace but also how clients, customers and other companies view you, your associates and your subordinates. Professionalism produces trust among peers and customers, fostering an image of competence, confidence and reliability. 

Like it or not, perception is everything in the business world. Executive presence becomes increasingly important the higher you move up in an organization. 

Leaders with executive presence demonstrate honesty, integrity and the ability to continually enrich a conversation. They are also skilled at listening and asking questions. Colleagues and clients immediately recognize the crispness of their thinking. It also requires understanding and mastery of a package of intangibles - passion, compassion, genuineness, authenticity, humour and humility. 

Make no mistake. I'm not arguing that you must shed your personal tastes when it comes to your dress, speech and behaviour. I'm merely advising that you express your individuality within the boundaries of what's considered appropriate in particular situations. 

For years, denial was my number one cause of failure. It all started with awareness - with recognizing (or rather should I say, I was helped to recognize) that I needed to change my image. Resistance to change was the second leading cause of failure for me until the day I finally decided that I will take actionable steps to change. Changing your image requires a sincere desire to change. 

Like me, you can choose someone who you feel is observant and a good judge of others. Invite that colleague, boss , partner or mentor to give you feedback on how you come across to others.

Don't think for a minute that you can dress better, sharpen your speech, develop a winning manner and fool folks. Remember you are in for the long haul. You can fool some people, some of the time and will. But if you are true to yourself and to others, your brand image will project authenticity. Others will sense that you are honest, real and sincere.

Success is not the key to happiness

Clark Kent, a 10-year-old boy dubbed "Superman", breaks a record that had been set by 23-time Olympic gold medallist Michael Phelps way back in 1995. The Eagles' greatest hits album has moonwalked past Michael Jackson's "Thriller" to become history's best-selling album of all-time.

Too many people equate happiness with success. What level of success do you imagine will make you happy?  I promise you, happiness born from the achievement of that success would be very short-lived. Once you have climbed that mountain, you will cast your gaze to the peak of another, higher mountain. I have met enough successful people to know that success cannot be equated with happiness. Some of them are tremendously happy, others are desperately miserable.

What do you want from life? Think about it. Stop reading. Write your answers down. Make a list. What you are about to write on that paper is infinitely more important than anything else I have to say in this posting.

Even when you write your list now, put it away and don't look at it for a year. When you do take the list out one year from now, you will be amazed by the self-revelation it will afford you.

Whatever you wrote on your list, chances are those are the things, places, people and experiences that you believe will make you happy. 

Everybody wants to be happy. You want to be happy, and I want to be happy.

Are you happy? 

Really. Think about it for a moment. Don't just float over the question like any other words on a page. Are you happy?

For most people the answer is "Yes and no" or "Yes, but I could be happier."

The pursuit of happiness means different things to different people. It means different things to you and me at different stages in our journey. Of course, expectations have a lot to do with our happiness. It is one of those life lessons that is hardest to learn.

Some people just seem happy on the outside but are desperately sad within. I know a woman like that. She was always smiling and laughing but as I got to know her, I came to learn that it was all just a façade. Deep inside she harboured a whole world of fear and hurt.

Some people are unhappy because they don't like their job or their spouse. Others are unhappy because they don't know how to appreciate who they are and all they have. 

Let me tell you about my experiences with happiness. The first thing I learned is that you will never be happy pretending to be someone other than yourself. On too many occasions to count, and in ways to embarrassing to recall, I have tried to impress people by pretending to be someone other than who I really am. Most people can spot someone pretending to be other than who they really are as easily as they can spot a man wearing shoes that are four sizes too big. If we are to be happy, it will be as ourselves.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 65% of all second marriages end in the same traumatic sadness. Disillusion always seems to follow when we expect someone or something else to make us happy. 

My own life experiences have involved me with people in various walks of life. Many have shared with me their personal struggles and successes. There are also clear memories of my own successes and my own failures. The more we look within ourselves and not to other things for our happiness, we more we experience a sense of meaning in our lives.

We remember moments

#1 food experience in the world is Spain's pintxos…according to Lonely Planet. Curry laksa in Kuala Lumpur is #2 followed by sushi in Tokyo. Beef brisket in Texas is #4 and som tum in Bangkok is #5. Koreans would be proud that bibimbap is #8 and Italians likewise with Pizza margherita at #9. Dim sum in Hong Kong makes up the top 10.

Arne Sorensen, Marriott CEO has this to say: "People value experience over "stuff."

Success is not a destination - it is a journey. Enjoy the journey. Whether you are setting out to become a legend, a hero, a champion, a star, a leader or a saint - enjoy the journey. 

We are conditioned from birth to chase milestones. It begins when everyone makes a fuss over our first birthday. Next it's time for school. Shortly after, we become teenagers. Then it's 17 - a driver's license. Next we're off to university. Somewhere down the road, after all the hustle to go to the right school, get the right degree, find the right job, buy the right house in the right part of town, have the right friends and the right clothes and the right car, somewhere along the way and unfortunately too late for some of us, we realize that life is far more about moments than it is about milestones. If we focus solely on the milestones, think of all you're missing in between.

I'm as guilty as anyone; I admit it. I've been chasing milestones. I'm not a workaholic, but I am driven. I'm driven to chase the next big thing. 

But I'm at a point now in my life where I've learned that if all you're doing is chasing milestones, you miss out on the opportunities to create memories. Then milestones end up feeling a little underwhelming once you get there to celebrate them. They're not as rewarding; they're not as exciting. 

Don't put off important things using a destination, or an achievement as an excuse. "When I am 40," "When I buy my new 5 series BMW!" "When I put my last kid through university." "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after." 

Sooner or later we must realise that there is no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The destination is only an illusion. It constantly outdistances us.

 

Finding good in bad situations

FANG stocks have been beaten down lately. FANG is an acronym for high-performing technology stocks - Facebook, Amazon, Netflix and Alphabet (formerly known as Google) - that have led the bull run of the last 9 years. Facebook had a historic sell-off recently, when it fell $199 billion in market cap in the biggest one-day loss for a single stock. But according to analysts the lesson here is that any sharp sell-off in the FANG stocks should be considered as a buying opportunity.

What looked like the worst - can turn out to be the best. Something good can come out of it. 

The history books are full of successful people with numerous stories of adversity and setbacks that opened doors to greater opportunity. J.K. Rowling was fired from her job as a secretary for using her computer for personal business. She survived on welfare until her first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, sold for $4,000 in 1997. Now she's richer even than the Queen. Oprah Winfrey lost her job as a news reporter because the producer believed she was a bad fit for the job. He did offer her a place on People Are Talking, a daytime TV Show that Winfrey initially saw as a demotion....until it took off, and started her career in earnest. Walt Disney got fired as a cartoonist because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas" and later acquired an animation studio and subsequently went bankrupt. That was when he and his brother began the Disney Brothers' Studio.
I'm sure these people weren't too happy about getting fired from their jobs nor going bankrupt. But if they hadn't been, who knows whether they would have achieved the success they have today. They found the positive benefits in their negative experiences. And if they can do it, so can we.

Think about water-skiing. When you are in balance holding on to the tow rope behind the boat, all is well. But if  you lose your balance, you don't continue to hold on and get dragged by the boat. You let go. That is what we have to do in life situations in which we find ourselves being dragged by circumstances we can't control. Let go! 

Looking back at my career, I can see now that every struggle I endured pointed me toward my destiny at where I am today. In reality, I probably found more hope than I ever had before.  The challenges we face in certain situations sometimes hold a purpose beyond our understanding at the time. We don't always know what's best.

All of us have been in situations that appeared hopeless, and yet we survived. We found a way. Or perhaps the way was shown to us.

Can you handle criticism?

48C (118.4F). Europe sizzles as searing temperatures approach record peak. Seoul saw its hottest day in 111 years when scorching temperatures hit 39.6 degrees. Heatwaves like these are becoming the new normal.

Can you handle the heat of criticism?

Criticism can hurt. It bludgeons our confidence.  The problem is that many people acclimate to them, feel chronically beaten or end up emotionally shutting down. Energetically, it can feel like you've absorbed a round of machine gun fire.

No one can avoid being criticized. No matter what your position or profession, you will be subject to criticism at some periods of your life. If you hold a position of responsibility, you will be subject to criticism.

Criticism can only deflate our mood if we buy into it. A good general rule I take is try not to take personally even what's meant personally. People say untrue things all the time. I always try to consider the source.

Criticizers believe it's their God-given right to offer what they deem "constructive criticism." People have all kinds of opinions about how we "should" feel or be. Criticism that is based on spite or jealousy is very hard to accept because it is unfair. It is hostile in intent.

Don't stoop to the low level of your critic. A dignified and restrained silence is your best reply. As the Dalai Lama suggests, "sometimes silence is the best answer." There may be times when it will be necessary to refute criticism that is false. This is especially true when it is criticism that verges on the edge of slander that is damaging to your personal or professional life. 

If a co-worker criticizes you for talking loudly, keep talking, but tone your voice down. Sometimes compromise goes a long way. 

We all enjoy being praised. But the disagreeable and critical things that people say about us can also be of use. Be willing to acknowledge criticism that is true. Don't be too stubborn to learn from criticism. I always heed a beneficial criticism , whether it's solicited or not. Of course criticism is harder to digest if delivered in cutting tone. Then it's your call to assess its worth.

Those who wish to be free from criticism inevitably end up doing nothing worthwhile. I am often criticized. It is not something I will ever become accustomed to, and it drains tremendous energy from me if I am not careful.  I like to always reflect on this quote:

"I do the very best I know how - the best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If that end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference" - Abraham Lincoln.