Parent + friend

ACE told me about the KL music fest today along with updates on the scouts job week. We also talked about buying a samsung S4.

As a father I try to balance being a parent and a friend. I want my kid to feel comfortable to come to me with his problems and whatever else is on his mind. That won't happen if I am distant and disconnected from him.

One of the highest compliments a father can receive is for his kids to pass on to their own children the values and wisdom he has taught them. And those children pass on the legacy to their children and so on.

Confidential feedback

My mentor ship program starts this coming Tuesday. I will officially have a mentor

In my experience the best solicited feedback is confidential feedback. We're merely ingesting honest commentary - which we requested! - from blind but we'll-meaning sources.

To maintain confidentiality, we need an unbiased third party to do the polling.

In soliciting feedback for myself, the only question that works is " how can I do better?"

When you hurt the worst

"There is no more boyfriend. I am hurting," Stephie lamented.

Lovers break up. A boyfriend or girlfriend walks away, trampling on what was once a beautiful relatinship. All that is left is a wounded, broken heart.

When you are deeply hurt, no person on this earth can shut out the innermost fears and deepest agonies. The best of friends cannot really understand the battle you are going through in the wounds inflicted on you.

When you hurt the worst, go to your secret closet and weep out all your bitterness. But let those tears originate only from the hurt, and not from unbelief or self-pity. Convince yourself that you will survive, you will come out of it.

Correctly define success

"It's mid February, and we're still doing our goal-setting," Kamran mentioned on the t-con.

Rigid goal setting that are inflexible or not appreciative of the challenges that were encountered in the previous year will tend to be very frustrating to employees. If people feel that the boss doesn't understand the challenges they faced that were beyond their control, it is actually quite demotivating.

As leaders, we have to be flexible about outcomes, and we must make sure we're correctly defining success.

The string

"Shirley is doing a great job at AIME," john informed me overt he phone, even without my asking.

One of my analogies I frequently use is to hand people a 12- inch string and offer $100 to the first person who can push it from one end of the desk to another in a straight line. Everyone's always motivated, but no one can do it. The string always coil and resists.

It's the same with people. If we push people, they resist. We can lead willing people, by training, coaching, answering questions and helping them. But we can't push them, and indeed, I won't. Somebody who has to be pushed has the wrong attitude.

Stay connected

"This is my big day," Sherly posted on FB

Most people think that love should always be magical and spontaneous. They loathe the concept of scheduling private moments with their loved ones for fear that this will suck the romance out of their relationship. 

Staying connected can be the biggest challenge a couple has to face. Life can move so fast that you don't set time aside for yourself and your loved ones, no one will bother to remind you about what's truly important.

Stand, don't sit.

"Shall we sit down?" Minte asked when the team came Into to my office for the goal setting discussion this morning

In some circumstances, I believe we shouldn't for sit a meeting at all. If the meeting is short and focused on making a decision of some sort, then I would  stand up for the conversation. This encourages participants to focus on the issue and come to a decision in a timely manner.