Wait for the right opportunity

"Today is my second day at my new job," Vic said over the phone.

Picking the winning job and organisation isn't quite as obvious as it sounds. Even the most talented manager could fail by taking the right job at the wrong time. Wait for the right opportunity has always been good advice.

My own mortality

"It's not good," Simon announced. "The doctors stitched her back. They said it's beyond what they can do. We are discharging her from the hospital tomorrow and bringing her home."

My aunt is in critical condition. I am assaulted by my own feelings.

My own mortality is much more an issue with me since I have moved into the position of being the generation next to die. Time has a different meaning. Expense of life energy is valued differently. I am not yet comfortable with thoughts of my own aging and dying. But I don't need to get comfortable as much as I need to get busy enjoying the time that remains.

Turn the other cheek or slap back?

ACE, captivated by the movie score, watched the movie The Magnificent Seven with me yesterday. The movie is about an oppressed Mexican peasant village assembling 7 gunfighters to help defend their homes.

We often allow others to treat us unfairly because we do not want to confront or challenge them. We tell ourselves that we are above engaging in conflict over unimportant trifles.

Many of us were taught that when someone slaps us, we should turn the other cheek. So, we turn the other cheek; not because it is right, but because it is easy. Or it might be that we are afraid to further provoke our antogonist.

This is not always the best course of action. I learned the lesson that "trying to be nice" may not be the right thing to do. There is a time to submit to being slapped and there is a time to hit back twice, so we will not be slapped again.

Acceptance = freedom = love

Why did you turn there? Why are you late? Why did you forget to do this? Why did you do it that way?

These are all the type of questions which shouts, "I wouldn't have turned there, been late, forgotten, done it that way."

Eliminating threatening "why" questions is a means of helping our loved ones feel our acceptance. And in acceptance, freedom. And in freedom, love.

Don't be an empire builder

"One of my key goals is talent development. We are growing so quickly I am constantly looking for good talent. I can't develop them inetrnally fast enough," Dom revealed.

Too many leaders are empire builders who try to arrange things so that they appear indispensable. They don't share information, let alone train their staff.


I train and groom my own replacement. I am a teacher, coach and mentor. I never worry that I'll put myself out of a job.

What is this thing called love?

Today is Easter Sunday. I liken Easter to this little story about how a mother hen and all her chicks were walking around the kampung when a storm blew up. The mother hen gathered all her chicks under her and sat on them as the rain began to fall. As the storm worsened, it started hailing. The hail came down so hard it beat the mother hen to death. Yet, after the storm, all the chicks crawled out from under the hen unharmed. She had sacrificed her life for them. This is the highest order of love. It can be, and often is, sacrificial.

We use the word love to convey many different ideas. We speak of loving God, loving people, loving pets, loving food.

This love letter nearly 2000 years ago from a Jewsih scholar to his relatives in Corinth describes love as:

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.

At the end of each day, I ask myself these questions: "Was I patient with the one I love? Was I kind today? Did I speak words of love to the one I love today? Did I act with love? Was I selfish or rude? Did I demand my own way with the one I love today? Was I irritable or "touchy"? "

Being loved is the 2nd best thing in the world; loving someone is the best.

Respect

"As managers and leaders, respect for people is fundamental to engaging them and getting things done," Nagesh wrote in her blog.

Respecting people sounds very good on paper, but putting it into practice is another matter. To me, respect is about treating our people as human beings with needs, aspirations and fears - not as interchangeable parts that can be used up and thrown out.

Respect doesn't mean "smile-at-all-times"management. If people do bad work, I don't ignore nor accept it. But here's the diff: I criticise the behaviour but coach the person.

That's because when we ridicule, demean or put down people, employees typically feel intimidated and angry. Humiliated individuals stop listening and nothing gets solved. The result: performance suffers and people stop taking risks. What we end up with is a compliant staff with no creative edge.

And no one will tell you when you are wrong.

"Who will tell the lion his breath smells bad?" - an Arab folk saying.