In giving to others, we could be disappointed

"What do you think about when you willingly help a friend and they always say you do things without a willing heart?" Nikki posted a message for me on FB. "Really breaks my heart."

Love exists not in isolation. Love is useless when alone, as in sleep or death. It is possessed only by giving to others. Yet in giving to others, we are often disappointed; some want to use us, others to possess us.

Appreciate and respect

"Recognize good things that the partner does," the sub-headline was written by Anja.

There isn't a human being alive who doesn't want to receive appreciation. Lack of expressing appreciation for good things causes one to lose touch with the reality of any good in another. Many mates destroy thri marriage/relationships out of ingratitude.

On the flip side, differences of opinions are not an excuse to drop respect. Disrespect inflames bad feelings. It makes a good situation bad and a bad situation worse. Treat your partner with dignity and, chances are, he or she will want to rise to a higher level of respect for you!

Rewards and education

"There's no such thing as loyalty anymore - after teaching employees the business, they leave you and join a competitor for a few bucks more," lamented Shou Dong.

The days of the "25th anniversary watch" being awarded are gone, with employees casually switching jobs and companies frequently changing ownership.

There are 2 variables, I feel that could make a difference - rewards and education. With education, I mean management development of our employees.

Let (right)

The Lie

"As a professional deception Management person (I teach in college now for 10 years!) I can say these methods of detecting lies are roughly correct but they lack any realusability," David Camp commented on blifaloo.

Detecting deception is no easy task.

Some people are good liars. Some people are pathological liars. Some people rehearse their story over and over so it comes naturally.

Typically most people can't figure out truth vs. lie more than 55% of the time, a recent research concluded.

The answer is that we're looking at the wrong things. I've just found out that eye contact isn't all that relevant in determining whether most people are lying or telling the truth.

A powerful strategy to improve odds of detecting deception is this: liars must contruct their stories in chronilogical order. People who tell the truth will be all over the place. So ask the person what happened in reverse chronological order. The liar won't be able to do it most of the time.

No one predetermined to be a superstar

ACE and I went to the Pixar Animation Exhibition today. Pixar was started by John Lasseter, George Lucas and Steve Jobs.

Even Steve Jobs or Bill Gates had to get from nowhere to the top of the mountain. They may appear to have it made; but they, too, face the same day-to-day obstacles we all do, at home and with their families, at work and with their colleagues.

As the saying goes...everybody puts on his or her pants one leg at a time.

Knowing their proposals

"Chapter 17: Negotiating at the Workplace." Stephie showed me the HRM textbook she is currently using.

Negotiation involve 2 solutions - ours and theirs - to the same problem.

Remember, there are 4 bits of information present in all negotiations. We know 2 of them - our entry offer and our walk away. We must find out where they will enter. If we don't, we will be negotiating with ourselves.

Not knowing their proposals is like being deaf at an auction - we keep bidding against ourselves.

May (centre), Margaret (right)

Building a market

"At the Sotheby's sale, a collector paid $442,000 for the first lunar rock ever to be sold," reported Business Week.

The balance of supply and demand is a dynamic process. What looked good will begin to look a lot less good when a dozen others join the party. That is the lesson the telecom bubble teaches us.

Here's a rule of business I once read: Don't fall in love with your product/service; that's the customers' job.

A lesson I learned all these years is to never underestimate how difficult it is to build a market. I don't lose sight of what counts; strategy, capabilities, customers and competitive advantage.