Communication in the family

"My parents doesn't know I am going to Hanoi tomorrow yet," CC said softly. I however am on the receiving end. My bro who used to talk with me regularly, nowadays doesn't even call me in weeks since he got married.

Research reveals that most family members truly communicate with each other for only a few minutes during a weeks' time. Some let their TV sets get more attention than their family members at home.

I refuse to allow my work activities or anything else to shut out the ones I love.

Anger gets us nowhere

"What can I do when she gets angry?" Benny said. "Of course I get defensive."

Through the years I found out that no one is wiser. And nothing changes.

I always repeat this in time of tribulations: "If I argue, I will lose."

Let us assume, for a moment, that you can match her in the argument department, and win. Exactly what have you won, Mr Big Shot? I say you win the right to live in a shabby apartment and eat your dinners out of a styrofoam bowl. And now you're absolutely alone.

It's all from within

"What separates the top salespeople from the rest?" Steven consulted me. "What separates the men from the boys?"

In my personal opinion, the motivation to excel - this inner motivation - is what distinguishes the 20% of those who succeed in the sales job.

Throughout my 22 years in sales, I've found that individuals who possesses this inner motivation to do a job coupled with proper training and supervision are the ones who succeed. If an individual does not possess the proper inner motivation, all the training and incentives in the world will not make that individual highly productive.

We work for what is fun for us - at what we enjoy. If we enjoy our work because that work satisfies our inner motivations, we need no one to tell us to work harder - we will do it because we want to, because it is rewarding.

The 20%

from left: Judy, Shirley, Jiaye, Elly, Marie

The love hangover

"Our love is gone. Our relationship is dead," Chris confessed. "We used to feel close but not now. We no longer enjoy being with each other."

Love is important, but it is also elusive. I have listened to many friends share their secret pain.

"What good is the house, the cars, and all else when your wife doesn't love you?" Benny asked. Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.

When the image of "happily ever after" hits the wall of hard reality; the key thing is to remember: never give up. Sometimes, this may be the right decision. There are however, occassions that it could have worked had the relationship been given the chance.

What kind of problem boss are you?

"Rogue employers who treat their workers shabbily" were listed as one of the Top Villains of 2008 by The new paper today.

A group of friends recently recalled a rogue's gallery of problem bosses: an alcoholic boss, several indecisive bosses, a couple of tyrants, one incompetent boss, a bunch of credit takers, a bully, a know-it-all and more.

Suddenly one of them blurted out," OK. What kind of problem boss are you?"

One of the benefits of doing a 360 degrees feedback appraisal is so that we can get that information from the people who've worked for and with us. They see us a whole lot differently than we see ourselves.

Over the years I've done much that I'm proud of. But I'm far from perfect and I've made some terrible mistakes when it comes to managing people. I don't like to admit it, but I've been a royal pain-in-the-butt to countless people.

Those who know me today might not think so now, but I've been as much as a problem boss to my staff as any of my bosses have been to me.

Back row from left: Leticia, Elly

Front row from left: Grace, Chloe, Flora, Stephie

My key to trade show success

"Please do send me details of your appointments at ATF (Asean Tourism Forum)," Rob emailed. "I will then contact all the buyers again for you and try and get some more appointments."

I find that a trade show is probably one of the best place to rapidly get the information, knowledge and contacts I need to move my business to the lext level of success. I get to obtain competitive information, find out future plans and cut sweet deals at trade shows.

I always plan for a little free time to wander the aisles with the curiosity of a child. I find that sometimes, my best discoveries are new exhibitors with interesting ideas. I get to meet "difficult-to-get-an-appointment" customers at other exhibitors' booths as well.

I also get great intelligence information and make new contacts by going to the show parties. I would work the room, asking for introductions to key people and when I've exhausted the opportunities at that party, I move on to the next.

Lai Meng and Volker at a trade show in Berlin

Making 2009 a fulfilling year

"2009 may not be fine," Karen's sms read, "but we will still surely be divine."

Today many of us will ask this question: "What are we planning for the year ahead?"

I am looking forward with joy and excitement and anticipation; though with the doom and gloom in the news, there is a temptation to raise the white flag of surrender.

Looking back on 2008, I reflected last night if I had intended to write one life story and now sadly realise that I have written another, or not.

It is not too late. We may have been beset by fear and pain and doubts in 2008 but I never let myself get turned away from my goals.

Dad, mum, ACE, hon and I
The lovely ladies from 3DH SSO