Do what needs to be done even when you don't want to

World leaders in the headlines this week:

1. Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was ousted on corruption charges.
2. A national strike and pockets of violence erupted in Venezuela deploring the possibility that their President could gain more sweeping powers.
3. A picture of the Kyrgyz president's youngest daughter feeding her baby dressed in her underwear has sparked a debate about breastfeeding and sexualisation.

A boss has the title. A leader has the people.

From time to time, in my younger days, I was too much of a disciplinarian, and did things that I regretted. Nowadays I very hardly have to mete out punishment for everyone to get the message. As judge, jury and chief executioner, I have plenty of different sentences at my disposal. A simple yet deadly one is silence. It did not require any public hanging. Everyone likes to be acknowledged and informed. The recipient, with his/her wings clipped knew they are in the cold storage. The severest penalties of all is the cutting loose. If, after trying as I might, I could not get someone to fit into our system, I let them go. You cannot build a team with blithe free spirits.

Once you say farewell to, you say goodbye to success and set the stage for anarchy.

Punishment is not something most management texts talk about and many texts points out that it is not a viable option for shaping behavior. I hope what you read here has provoked you to think about leadership in a new way.

After all, true leadership is not so much about what is in your head as about what is in your heart and how you use that to inspire people to greatness.

 

Building confidence: play to your strengths

Plans to erect a bronze statue of Margaret Thatcher in Parliament Square have been turned down, partly over fears it would be vandalized. While Lady Thatcher was widely respected, she was also controversial and divisive.

Confidence is not "they will like me." Confidence is "I'll be fine even if they don't."

Confidence is a way of thinking about ourselves and our abilities. It's a kind of thinking that powers us through the obstacles and tough times, helping us solve problems and putting us in the way of success.

I am not advising you to take a "positive thinking" seminar. When we are up against a tough competitor, a grueling day, a difficult assignment, we cannot create confidence with some kind of on-the-spot routine. Exceptional performers know what they know and go for it. Confidence is a resolute state of mind by of thinking about what is possible and how to make it possible.

"I am the greatest," proclaimed Mohammad Ali, one of my favourite examples of a supremely confident thinker. And he did become, indisputably, one of the greatest boxers in history.

Supremely confident people were confident long before they achieved anything. We tend to view confidence as a product of accomplishment rather than part of the process that leads there.

I've never met a guy who has built a business or an accomplished sales leader who has not had a great ego. If you can't build your own brand, how do you build brands or teams for people who pay you for it?

Of course, you might be misunderstood. Arrogance is thinking that you are better than other people in general. Confidence has nothing to do with your worth as a human being, or with a comparison of yourself to others.

By now you are probably asking: how can I succeed when other people seem more talented?

Confidence is not a guarantee of success, but a tenacious search for ways to make things work.

As a leader, I create confidence and show trust by believing in my team members' capabilities. I give them a big hairy project and encourage them to meet to figure it out without me. I show trust by getting out of the way. I trust them to rise to the occasion, and they will.

Don't worry so much about what you can't do. Just do what you can as only you can do it.

 

Compassion has an impact on the bottomline

An unprecedented  and bitter feud among the family of Singapore's prime minister over the legacy of their father has been in the headlines in recent weeks.

Everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Never underestimate the pain of a person because everyone is struggling. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. Sometimes the most outwardly happy people is the most damaged.

Every one of us is always in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or headed for a crisis. That's just part of being on this planet.

Silos - otherwise also known as department politics, divisional rivalry or turf war, is one of the most frustrating aspects of life in an organization. My experience suggests that over time, the feelings of frustrations turns into disappointment, which eventually becomes resentment - even hostility - toward their supposed team mates. This maddening problem exists, to different degrees, in most companies I've worked in. But the fact is, most employees have a genuine interest in working well across divisions.

The older we get, the more we get to see people - including ourselves - acting selfishly, and we have to learn to protect ourselves. Some people seem more naturally disposed to looking for goodness than others. I have to admit that I am not one of them. In our overly judgmental culture, I have been too quick to point out the negative in situations and people. Seeking the good isn't always easy, especially when things don't go how we would like them to or when people hurt us deeply.

Empathy sounds like such a simple word, yet it's actually a complicated feat to be able to understand someone else's perspective and see how different the world looks. Of all the people in my life, I hold those who taught me compassion in highest regard.

As a leader today, I understand that empathy and compassion has a bottom-line impact because it is a strong component of trust.

Many are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or action of an unthinking or uncaring person. I have wasted valuable hours imagining confrontation. By learning how to forgive, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I give up my bitterness.  I forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness.

Every saint had a past and every sinner has a future. Forgiveness, it turns out, is a gift that means more to the giver than it does to the receiver.